Marshal Mars wore stripes and stars
When we washed up on the beach;
By capturing Kate, he sealed his fate—
With backup now well out of reach.

But even before we crashed ashore
On our flight to the stately city,
With one tiny edit, to Edward's credit,
He'd still take the L—what a pity.

Generally styled as a golden child,
The boy with the silver spoon
Climbed the cliff to a big, blue glyph—
Spelling the end of Boone...

Crawling from aft of the old Beechcraft,
The bird shifted all at once;
He fell with a smash in a dreadful crash—
The second in under two months!

Linger a while and look over the island—
Soar alongside the great spirit—
For the lovers' lair of a star-crossed pair

Whose whispers draw us near it.
Rising above to embrace true love,
Without another word—
Our hearts grew pale at the tragic tale
Of Shannon Rutherford.

From L.A. ghettos to jungle meadows,
Ana Lucia Cortez
Dropped out of the blue from row 42—
To do as the Island says.

Sharing a name with explorers of fame,
She fell to the same vicious cycle;
Post to pillar, Cortez the Killer
Was sent to her maker by Michael.

Before going under, the Britpop wonder
Saw the songwriting on the wall;
A rock n' roll story that crescendoed in glory
To a brotherly curtain call.

Though things got gnarly, good old Charlie
Made sure to hit one final note—
A message to pass through the Looking Glass:
NOT PENNY'S BOAT.

Sometime later, afloat on a freighter,
The deckhand Kevin Johnson—
Racked with guilt for the blood he spilt—
Uncovered a bomb in the sponson.

A perilous pickle—the Island is fickle;
He stayed and held off the assault
To create a delay for his friends' getaway
And redeem himself to WAAAALLT!

If sorriest sort were a castaway sport
On the Island to which Jacob sent them—
Of all the candidates that he stranded,
It's a lock for Jeremy Bentham.

Tipped off its axis, time became fractious—
Turned back by the man of faith;
As thanks for his slyness, he was done in by Linus,
To return with the wrath of a wraith.

Never a stranger to risk or danger—
That was his middle name—
Sayid was brought back by the Man in Black,
Though he wasn't quite the same...

But long before that, to a forested flat,
Treed in a twist on the trail,
He led a platoon to the burst balloon—
And the truth about Henry Gale.

Amid the commotion, a massive explosion
From the stern of the submarine
Torpedoed our trip and sunk our ship—
With a pair caught in peril between...

Jin and Sun knew their time was done,
So they embraced the great unknown—
Choosing to weather the end together,
Rather than pass on alone.