It was noted the other day in the Pioneer Press, too comfortably noted, that a marketing campaign is under way to rebrand the Twin Cities. The mayors of Minneapolis and St. Paul and a Minneapolis public relations firm, the principals behind this wholly arbitrary idea, convened at the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport and announced that we should refer to ourselves as “Minneapolis St. Paul More To Life.” Without even a comma.
That’s four times in one paragraph that Minneapolis precedes St. Paul. It won’t stop until we’re gone, wiped out, erased from the street maps and travel guides.
I’m from St. Paul.
I wouldn’t like it even if this brain trust came up with “St. Paul Minneapolis More To Life,” which features St. Paul’s prominence as the capital, if you were to go down this road.
This rat has smelled since the boy mayors air-kissed each other on the cheeks and then sat down for breakfast at DeGidio’s in November 2005. R.T. Rybak brought a hostess gift, a painting. Chris Coleman, then the mayor-elect, offered as his token, I guess, the splendors of a West Seventh Street restaurant, to which he could claim a neighborhood allegiance.
The mayors of two distinct cities were acting in collusion to bring about an end to the ancient and healthy rivalry that has always existed between St. Paul and Minneapolis. They didn’t come right out and say that, but it was clear from the ways they made goo-goo eyes at each other that they shared the same big-government dream of regional cooperation and the desire for urban density that only one great big blob of a city can inspire in the hearts of liberals.
Now, three years later, a PR firm, a Minneapolis PR firm, Weber Shandwick, is brought into the game. They are trying to fix something that isn’t broken, but I suppose a PR firm cannot collect its fee unless it convinces you there is a problem. For example, at the airport news conference, we learned that we suffer from a variety of afflictions, among them a lack of sophistication, cold weather, an absence of nightlife, a poky economy.
And that if only we take the counsel of Beeblick and Weebler, or whatever they are, we will fix this problem with a logo and the abandonment of the phrase “Twin Cities,” to be replaced with “Minneapolis St. Paul More to Life.” Without a comma.
I’m from St. Paul.
If I wanted to be from Minneapolis, I would live in Minneapolis. But I don’t want to live in Minneapolis. I don’t particularly like it. Minneapolis has never known what it wanted to be. It shamelessly took from New York and called itself the Little Apple or the Minni Apple. Remember that one? They got a Super Bowl one time, but for entertainment they brought the NFL owners to St. Paul in limousines to see the Winter Carnival ice palace on Harriet Island. The Enemy Newspaper does not even put the name of its city on the masthead and is bringing in a consultant to tell them why they are foundering.
The money for this rebranding scam – $1.5 million – has been from a variety of donated sources, and I trust we haven’t had to pay for it. It sounds like a business-political marriage designed to remind corporate executives elsewhere that, yes, we have electricity and running water, just like other places, and will you please remember us when you look to expand or relocate or start anew. Meaning, remember Minneapolis. Don’t fall for it.
I’m from St. Paul.
Late in the 19th century, James J. Hill wished to convince his East Coast pals of exactly the same thing, that we had electricity and running water and, really, we are alive out here. He started the Winter Carnival. The 122nd Winter Carnival is under way.
In Minneapolis this weekend, they were getting ready for some sort of eco-friendly cross-country ski event around one of their swampy little city lakes.
Here? We were outside with shovels and rakes and Geiger counters digging for buried treasure.
I’m from St. Paul.
Joe Soucheray can be reached at jsoucheray@pioneer press.com or 651-228-5474. Soucheray is heard from 2 to 5:30 p.m. weekdays on KSTP-AM 1500.
Copyright 2008 Pioneer Press.