So sorry to hear about Whitney me2 :frown: :frown: :frown:
I had foot surgery and I was up the next day. They said I couldn't go to work either (so I didn't) but my foot wasn't as bad as they thought.
Of course mine wasn't in the bone either. (It was a ganglion cist removal)
I'm hoping they can correct it easy and not have to many problems. It all depends on exactly what they find when they get in there.
HSA plans do suck! When ya gotta come up with money or not be treated it's just plain wrong. Heck they give credit to people who don't deserve it, yet they can't give ya a break and put it on credit when you do need it for medical emergencies. :angry:
So sorry J :frown: hope she heals fast. Insurance really sucks these days, we just got a bill for $2000.00 for andrews surgery and we have pretty good insurance :frown:
Ali & I went to a Grief Retreat this past weekend. It was awesome to be with other young families who lost a parent/spouse. Both the kids and adults connected immediately. It was something all of us needed and enjoyed. One of the people I connected very well with was the husband of one of the prominent victims of the 35W bridge collapse. You all know who he is but I can't use names because of confidentiallity reasons.
It was a very emotionally draining weekend. Both on the happy and sad sides of things. I slept 10 hours last night! That's almost 3 regular nights worth of sleep for this guy.
I highly recommend it to anyone who is unfortunate enough to have to go through this type of loss. Ali will be going to Camp Amanda in January as well. Luckily she hooked up with another girl who will be going as well.
There were people there from all over the place as this program is only one of two in the nation that addresses this issue. We felt very fortunate to be a part of it. And oddly enough, there was a mom and daughter there that live only a few blocks away from us.
All of us exchanged phone numbers and e-mails and plan on keeping in touch with each other going forward.
I'm very glad you are going to try and continue a friendship with him ~ its interesting that there are only 2 of these programs in the country. There should be thousands. I'm very glad that you could be apart of one. We all here only want the best for you.
That is great :smile: I am glad to see that you could make it to something like that, and that you seem to have gained from it.
 I agree with me2, you would think that there would be so many more of them around. So sad for those who won't ever have access to this, or ever know that they even exist.
Things like this seem to always start up in Minnesota anyway. Maybe other states will see the benefits. But it does take a lot of volunteers to put it on and I know other states seem to have a much lower volunteer ratio than we do. Look at the 35W bridge disaster, the worst the police had to deal with was too many volunteers showing up to help. Same thing with the Extreme Makeover house. They were begging people in Oregon to help in last weeks show.
I really wanted these pics with when I first talked about whitney and her surgery but I couldn't find them. Here are a couple of them.
ouch. the bone didn't grow back to the other bone. See the perpendicular line she's pointing at? thats the break.
Gotta love dr's looking to keep your business too - :angry: -
I took these pics when he stepped out of the room briefly. When he came back I asked him if he would make copies for me. He said they don't come out - I know they do - I've copied an xray on a copy machine before :angry: good thing I took pics
I went in last Friday to the doctor to get a mole on my back checked out that had gotten bigger and discolored. They took it off and are doing a biopsy on it. I'm thinking positively, but I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought about what it could possibly be. If you have any good thoughts to send my way, I would greatly appreciate it.
Don't be too concerned. I have two three inch scars on my back where I had squamous cell cancer removed last spring. Basil cell and squamous cell account for the majority of skin cancers are once removed you're cured.
They aren't the first skin cancers I've had and they won't be the last. And they older you get the more prone you will be for them to show up. Abby's already had one and she's only 30.
Thanks guys. I'm really not as worried about it. I am not thinking about it much, just focusing on what is at hand, what needs to get done, etc. I've acknowledged there is the possibility though. It does make me think about my mortality though. I'm focusing more on the happy life I have now, and what life Coco and I are building together.
No need to comment but I just wanted to post that I gave away the last of Amy's clothes tonight with the exception of a few choice garments of memory. It was/is way tougher than I thought. I didn't think anything about it at the time, or for a few hours later for that matter. But is sure is hitting me now. Damn It! :frown:
I planned for this and it's not going the way I planned.
Hugs CM. it's tough, but I guess you have to look at it like - she's not in them. They were only material items.
I saved a couple of dresses and all the aprons my gran made. I also saved a sweater of hers, that she wore in a photo with me, when I was less than a year old.
In my dad's room, I found a box of clothes of his, all neatly folded from around the time he died - she had save them along with shoes, like he was coming back, and would need something to wear. I haven't brought myself to go through it yet, and get rid of them. Part of me wants to keep them. They have a smell to them, that I reckon must be a little bit like how he smelled. Nothing I've ever smelled before, yet somehow hauntingly familiar.
He did a good thing and did pass on most of her things by the sounds of it. It sounds like just a couple pieces he held on to ... thats ok. every one deals with death different, I would probably sleep/cuddle up in bed with a piece of their clothing if I lost my love :frown: it's like hanging on to a baby blanket if you lose a child
smell it!
I love the smell of the person I love
looks like another hard day for him today too- he's not around :frown: hug cm
CM- I think it's good to move on like you have by giving up a number of her clothes, but still hold on to a few of her items. You're able to move on into the future and what lies ahead, but still not totally forget about the past.
On a positive note, I did get the results back on the mole that was removed. It was benign, it was just a collection of blood vessels underneath. Thank you all for your warm thoughts and prayers, I do really appreciate it.
Thanks for all of your support guys. I'm better today although there's still a bag in the garage of clothes that her aunt said might not sell as fast as the newer stuff. I'll be donating that bag soon. Along with a bag of Ali's clothes.
So feel free to call me Kitch if you wanna stop by and look through Ali's stuff.
Funny how even after removing all of Amy's clothes from the closet it's still full looking with all of my stuff. It's spread out a bit more but still feels like a full closet.
That's great news Kids! I bet you two will find a way to celebrate.
CM - I am sorry you are going through all that grief. It's good you can go at your own pace with things.
My Mom lives in a senior building. When someone there ends up in a nursing home or dies, the family needs to clean out that apartment by the end of the month. I always feel so bad for them as they don't have the option of going at that process in their own time. The same thing happened when my Dad died. Nothing to do but do it when all the feelings are still so raw.
Hugs to you CM. I wish I could take away the pain.
Terry thats the same when my dad passed away. no time- he lived in an apartment bldg and we had to go in and take what we wanted and move things. I was the LAST person to go over because I couldn't handle it-it hurt too much. But I was made to because of the time constrants. it also left me with less of his things because my mom and sister had already gone through everything. The other day I was at my sisters looking at things my dad wrote for college papers. poetry and stories about life and love and anger and struggles. Im glad I saw them so I can get copies now - but so much coulda been tossed by the apartment management if we didnt get in there. My sister brought a box over a couple weeks ago. Inside it was my dads coat. I'll keep it, however, I know MY kids will toss it. All I really have of him is his class ring and some ashes.
My relationship with my Dad was strained most of the time he was living. It was only in the last few years of his life we finally had a decent relationship. Yet it hurt more than I would have imagined when he died.
He was a vet and we needed to find his discharge papers so he could be buried at the Fort Snelling cemetery. So we had gone to his apartment and collected up all his paperwork out of his drawers and had to go through those piece by piece.
His brother and sister-in-law were coming down from Green Bay to represent his family so while we were having to deal with out of town company, we were also having to deal with sorting his stuff.
The day after he died, I was going through this pile of paper and found letters from his sister in response to some things he had written her about some years before. It all made me remember why I hated him most of my life. It made the rest of it easier.
We still have his flag now displayed in one of those triangular boxes and the crucifix that was on his casket. There are some old pictures, his wallet and some other odds and ends we've kept. Inks kept some of his shirts (they were the same size) and a hat he wore, but the rest got donated.
I also burned the letters that made me so angry.
Mostly I've forgiven him for all the crap, but I can't forget it.
I wish we had had more good times but he went and died too soon.
I have no doubt he loved us - but for most of his life, he loved the beer more. Having spent most of his life in a fog of alcohol, he didn't always see things or remember things the way they really were.
He had the nickname Happy. His family called him that as did his bar buddies.
We seldom saw that. He was grumpy, emotionally abusive to my Mom and especially to the two of us girls that looked most like my Mom's side of the family.
He was in his 50s when he finally put himself in treatment and sobered up. Even then, when we got married, I didn't want him at the wedding. He had dry drunks that were much like the drinking drunks that had been his life previously.
At some point, he did make some motions of wanting a relationship with me. I laid down the rules and made them stick. That's how we had any relationship at all.
He lived long enough to be a wonderful grandpa for our oldest. He would show up every day to play with him and would spoil him terribly. It was so heart warming to finally see that side of him.
He died 5 months before our youngest came home so she never knew him.
Poor thing. My heart goes out to her and your family.
Are you gonna school her? If so, I see her getting an A in history anyway. :smile:
(((((whitney)))))
ohmigosh, I am so sorry you are both going through this!!!
I hope the surgery and healing goes easily and quickly, and you both receive the support you need to get through it.
P.S. I hate western medicine's "health" systems.
I had foot surgery and I was up the next day. They said I couldn't go to work either (so I didn't) but my foot wasn't as bad as they thought.
Of course mine wasn't in the bone either. (It was a ganglion cist removal)
I'm hoping they can correct it easy and not have to many problems. It all depends on exactly what they find when they get in there.
HSA plans do suck! When ya gotta come up with money or not be treated it's just plain wrong. Heck they give credit to people who don't deserve it, yet they can't give ya a break and put it on credit when you do need it for medical emergencies. :angry:
get better soon!!!
Ha!
Try Masters Degree in History :ooh:
It was a very emotionally draining weekend. Both on the happy and sad sides of things. I slept 10 hours last night! That's almost 3 regular nights worth of sleep for this guy.
I highly recommend it to anyone who is unfortunate enough to have to go through this type of loss. Ali will be going to Camp Amanda in January as well. Luckily she hooked up with another girl who will be going as well.
There were people there from all over the place as this program is only one of two in the nation that addresses this issue. We felt very fortunate to be a part of it. And oddly enough, there was a mom and daughter there that live only a few blocks away from us.
All of us exchanged phone numbers and e-mails and plan on keeping in touch with each other going forward.
http://www.wcco.com/video/?id=32036@wcco.dayport.com
I'm very glad you are going to try and continue a friendship with him ~ its interesting that there are only 2 of these programs in the country. There should be thousands. I'm very glad that you could be apart of one. We all here only want the best for you.
 I agree with me2, you would think that there would be so many more of them around. So sad for those who won't ever have access to this, or ever know that they even exist.
ouch. the bone didn't grow back to the other bone. See the perpendicular line she's pointing at? thats the break.
Gotta love dr's looking to keep your business too - :angry: -
I took these pics when he stepped out of the room briefly. When he came back I asked him if he would make copies for me. He said they don't come out - I know they do - I've copied an xray on a copy machine before :angry: good thing I took pics
They aren't the first skin cancers I've had and they won't be the last. And they older you get the more prone you will be for them to show up. Abby's already had one and she's only 30.
These kinds of waiting hours sure do put life in perspective don't they? Just remember that you are your own worst enemy. It'll be OK.
I planned for this and it's not going the way I planned.
SHIT!
Don't be too hard on yourself. She wouldn't want that. ((((CM)))
True - except when I'm looking/smelling her clothes that is.
But I get what you're talking about OT - Thanks
Its almost like I'm still expecting him to come back, sometime soon...
Its hard enough for me to just go into his bed-room, when I need to get something....
We've had alotta lights flickering on and off here lately, that never have before... kind of weird.
I saved a couple of dresses and all the aprons my gran made. I also saved a sweater of hers, that she wore in a photo with me, when I was less than a year old.
In my dad's room, I found a box of clothes of his, all neatly folded from around the time he died - she had save them along with shoes, like he was coming back, and would need something to wear. I haven't brought myself to go through it yet, and get rid of them. Part of me wants to keep them. They have a smell to them, that I reckon must be a little bit like how he smelled. Nothing I've ever smelled before, yet somehow hauntingly familiar.
Would Amy want her stuff to go to someone who needed it, or would she want you to hold onto all of it so you could smell it?
-Red
it's like hanging on to a baby blanket if you lose a child
smell it!
I love the smell of the person I love
looks like another hard day for him today too- he's not around :frown:
hug cm
On a positive note, I did get the results back on the mole that was removed. It was benign, it was just a collection of blood vessels underneath. Thank you all for your warm thoughts and prayers, I do really appreciate it.
Thanks for all of your support guys. I'm better today although there's still a bag in the garage of clothes that her aunt said might not sell as fast as the newer stuff. I'll be donating that bag soon. Along with a bag of Ali's clothes.
So feel free to call me Kitch if you wanna stop by and look through Ali's stuff.
Funny how even after removing all of Amy's clothes from the closet it's still full looking with all of my stuff. It's spread out a bit more but still feels like a full closet.
CM - I am sorry you are going through all that grief. It's good you can go at your own pace with things.
My Mom lives in a senior building. When someone there ends up in a nursing home or dies, the family needs to clean out that apartment by the end of the month. I always feel so bad for them as they don't have the option of going at that process in their own time. The same thing happened when my Dad died. Nothing to do but do it when all the feelings are still so raw.
Hugs to you CM. I wish I could take away the pain.
He was a vet and we needed to find his discharge papers so he could be buried at the Fort Snelling cemetery. So we had gone to his apartment and collected up all his paperwork out of his drawers and had to go through those piece by piece.
His brother and sister-in-law were coming down from Green Bay to represent his family so while we were having to deal with out of town company, we were also having to deal with sorting his stuff.
The day after he died, I was going through this pile of paper and found letters from his sister in response to some things he had written her about some years before. It all made me remember why I hated him most of my life. It made the rest of it easier.
We still have his flag now displayed in one of those triangular boxes and the crucifix that was on his casket. There are some old pictures, his wallet and some other odds and ends we've kept. Inks kept some of his shirts (they were the same size) and a hat he wore, but the rest got donated.
I also burned the letters that made me so angry.
Mostly I've forgiven him for all the crap, but I can't forget it.
I wish we had had more good times but he went and died too soon.
I used to think it was horrible that I felt so angry and hateful towards him. He was my Dad afterall.
But I finally decided that I could own my love/hate feelings and just let things be as they are about all that history. You can't change a thing.
Sorry TV :frown:
I have no doubt he loved us - but for most of his life, he loved the beer more. Having spent most of his life in a fog of alcohol, he didn't always see things or remember things the way they really were.
He had the nickname Happy. His family called him that as did his bar buddies.
We seldom saw that. He was grumpy, emotionally abusive to my Mom and especially to the two of us girls that looked most like my Mom's side of the family.
He was in his 50s when he finally put himself in treatment and sobered up. Even then, when we got married, I didn't want him at the wedding. He had dry drunks that were much like the drinking drunks that had been his life previously.
At some point, he did make some motions of wanting a relationship with me. I laid down the rules and made them stick. That's how we had any relationship at all.
He lived long enough to be a wonderful grandpa for our oldest. He would show up every day to play with him and would spoil him terribly. It was so heart warming to finally see that side of him.
He died 5 months before our youngest came home so she never knew him.