The Legend of Joe Medallion

by Greg Sax

Most online forums have their nuisances, and the Medallion Hunt discussion group has been, unfortunately, no exception. Flamers, ranters, potty-mouths...they all turn up now and again. Oftentimes, the troublemaker will suddenly go mum as the group moderator clams them up with magic knobs and switches at Pioneer Planet headquarters. But one young fellow (at least we presumed he was young based on his e-mail address) was a reasonable enough flamer to NOT have posting privileges taken away. He called himself many things, but mostly he was Joe Medallion.

His name is mentioned in the past tense for the sake of consistent tense, but he's certain to be around for 1999 and beyond as his antics seem to amuse himself more than anyone else. Joe would often have conversations with himself under different monikers, usually during the school day, leaving us to wonder how our public funds were being spent and whether or not this strange young man was somewhat schizophrenic. There would be times that he seemed generally interested in following ideas about where the medallion was hidden, and there were other times when he seemed to relish in spurning the group and calling us all freaks that needed to get a life.....and then he would apologize for his behavior or blame it on one of his alteregos. It was all very confusing but fascinating as well – so we tolerated it and eventually named a Cooler Crew nonevent after him.

That nonevent, the "Joe Medallion" or "Joe," is when anyone gets a post that falls on a 0. Post #11,340 would be a "Baby Joe," but post #35,000 would be the truest of a true "Joe." The practice stems from Joe's own annoying habit of posting continuously until he would achieve a magical 0 number, followed by the exclamation "I got it!" Rather than fight it, we took it as our own and nurtured it. Maybe Joe was right.....maybe we are all freaks that need to get a life. Or maybe our cynical definition of "life" just isn't the same as his. Seeya next year, Joe.

Epilogue - by Joe Medallion himself. Sort of.

These days old Joe can still be found around these parts. Yes, he's no longer a part of the forums. He hasn't been since the Water Cooler disappeared in 2002, and ever since we've been using a pay to post site, he hasn't bothered to pay to post. However, all sites need some sort of "anonymous" user, since not everyone wants to post stories publicly as themselves. Over on Slashdot, that poster is given the name "Anonymous Coward". Here, in Joe's honor, any anonymous posts will appear to come from our own Joe Medallion.