Hosts Only

if my wife knew how to read the threads and egrams...I'd log out 2...

:chagrin: :wink:

Heh

as much as I hate it....I know somebody needs to stick around just to keep folder organization up and running..

ditto.

happy thanksgiving to everyone. hope you all appreciated the thanksgiving themed-idea stolen from google-logo.

So would someone like to ask me2 to be the 7th moderator and if she agrees, get her access here?

We had a job to do. We came to our decision carefully and did so unanimously. If someone doesn't agree, that's their problem, not ours.

I'll ask me2!!!

I'll wait til I see her on AIM or I talk to her on the phone...

amen!

u guys open to having a suggestion thread??

could be scary??

just because someone suggests something doesn't mean we have to agree with the suggestion.

could be a good place for them to vent...

I don't have a problem with it, although there will probably be some out there who will.

I'm fine with a suggestion thread. We at least would be able to debate and defend things we do on here, or reasons as far as why things are.

the more I think about it...the more I like it....

uh huh.

What's with the code of conduct? Are we going to post that at all?

I think its set...

at the same time I post that....I wanted to post the suggestion thread....

was something I wanted to put in the same folder....

The more I think about this Nick thing the more I think we jumped the gun on the decision because of the new e-gram ignore feature now. I would have liked to debate it once we knew Tim added this feature and see if it changed any of our thoughts.

Personally I thought things were OK outside the nagging e-grams. The behavior in the threads wouldn't have constituted a banning IMHO. Thoughts?

Oh, and I do think the suggestion thread is a good idea. But as much as I agree with having me2 in here, I would think that some people might have that as their first beef if we picked her then put up a thread for their input. Just thinking ahead is all.

I talked to me2....

she's still thinking about it..

IMHO on Nick...I'm ok with him being back.....but I still would like to see him banned on the lyrics thread, What irrates thread, and what you like thread.

I agree with Kitch and you as well CM.

Who's to say that he couldn't post lyrics in the regular thread. Same goes with other things as well.

Post the rules and if he or anyone breaks them, we review and ban if warranted.

sounds good to me...

That way we could always refer to the rule that was broken and there would be no questions. And being that everything was out in the open for all to see, there wouldn't be anyone needing proof.

IMHO on Nick...I'm ok with him being back

well, i did, and still will continue to treat nick exactly as we would were we completely on our own site.

ya know, guys, the only people i've seen bitching about the situation, aside from nick, are people who are never around, except when they have a need to bitch about something.

you'd be surprised....

there is still alot of talk about this off the boards...

nah. i wouldn't be. i know how the people of whom i speak operate :wink:

I'm 95% sure the people you are talking about is not the same I'm refering 2.

yeah. you're probably right. those people are too good to talk to the likes of us :chagrin:

Well,

Letting him back in has nothing to really do with what people are saying or not saying.

It has to do with the problem being solved or not.

Will him being back in with the new system in place keep the other issue from happening again?

I believe it would.

its not that....

I think many people feel like just not posting a word on the threads....it just starts a new fight...

Like somebody told me this whole thing is almost like the hatfields and mccoys....

some of us don't even know who's fighting, why they are fighting, are we in the fight and don't know it....etc...

Exactly

what ever happened to common decency in this world?

I'm not here to question or judge it. I'm here to babysit threads.

problem is, it exists, whether or not we stick our heads in the sand or not. one of you guys said upthread that people aren't gonna like us regardless of what we do. and in that sense, as much as we don't want this to become political, it is an analogous situation to politics. anonymous opinions that come across politicians' desks tend to get ignored, n'est-ce pas? personally, i give far more weight to someone who's going to share their opinion on the matter publically, than to someone who only tells one or two of us (if i'm not one of the people with whom its discussed) so in that mindframe, maybe we ought to open up the suggestion thread, and see what people actually have to say about it. because the majority of people who i saw posting on the matter when it was discussed were in favor of him being banned.

1) Post the code of conduct

2) Open up a suggestion thread

3) let the games begin.

When is Coco coming back?

If people want to know what happened, basically Nick wanted things from Coco. He was told no a number of times in a number of ways. He was warned that if things did not end, we would use legal means if necessary. He would not take no, he would not listen to others, so we were forced to take action as we did. Have the actions stopped? Yes. He knows he can't do it or he's in the shit house. Plus Coco has left the site, so he can't do it here anyways. So yes, of course it's stopped. Does it make it right? In my mind not at all. Should he be let back in? Personally I'm torn. For what he did and what we had to go through, I don't think that this temporary ban is enough. On the other hand though, I think that with how people have reacted, they've made him a sympathetic figure. He's going to be the martyr and Coco and I and us are going to be the bad guys for doing this. Yeah, I realize he has issues. But I've tried to help him, others have tried to help him, and he won't take the damn help. He's terrorized and emotionally abused another person, plus forced a bunch of us to put friendships and relationships to the test. He's put you guys in positions that you didn't want to be in. I'll say that if he is let back on here, I'm going to be watching his posts like a hawk for anything subtle about this situation. I've got plenty of unanswered questions that will tear into his motives and storys of lies. Coco and I have taken the high road on this pretty much throughout. When her and I first started going out together (which was at least a month after they were broken up and which Nick himself basically helped speed up us getting together as a couple), I kept quiet about being with her. Throughout I could have said something about getting her and him losing out, but I rarely if ever have done so. We've handled the matter privately, within the law enforcement and within the moderator thread. If I have made posts in the public threads regarding the matter, they've been in response to posts that he's made, or in response to actions that he's taken either privately on here or outside of here. If people want to associate themselves with him, that's their choice. I can't tell people how to live their lives. People have said how Coco should take things, but that's their own opinion. They haven't had to deal with the constant issue of phone calls, emails, egrams, having to change your number, having to spend money on an HRO and other things to help prove things, having to change your living habits, how you go out. I swear if you guys were on my side your views would be totally different. But I realize that not everyone will have my view, and not everyone wants it. I'm rambling I know, but this crap has been ongoing for a half year.

I don't know if she'll ever come back. If you've had something really bad happen, there are people who don't want to go back to the place because of the memories and feelings it brings back. A woman who is raped isn't as likely to want to go back to where she was raped, especially if the man who did it to her was there repeatedly. What he did has affected her a lot, as well as people's reaction to what he did. She enjoys talking with people and has some good friends here, but she's finding ways to communicate with them outside of here. She may be back at some point, I don't know. It may be a while. It would definitely be under a different name though. I can't say for sure. Oh yes, and she is aware of the new feature as far as blocking people.

I don't know if she'll ever come back.

It would definitely be under a different name though. I can't say for sure. Oh yes, and she is aware of the new feature as far as blocking people.

than what is the purpose of blocking nick any longer???

I don't know? Saying that what he did was wrong and there should be some consequences?

They haven't had to deal with the constant issue of phone calls, emails, egrams, having to change your number, having to spend money on an HRO and other things to help prove things, having to change your living habits, how you go out

As much as I believe you and understanding that it truly sucks, how does it affect the threads here? The threads themselves were never really used to harass anyone.

Other than the e-grams, it's an outside matter and shouldn't affect anything in here. I think that's where we made our mistake from the beginning. I totally see your point but I think if we looked at the issue for what we, as moderators, actually have power to control, we would have never let it get this far. Or we would have posted the rules and let him hang himself if it was to happen.

They were, but indirectly. How do you think Coco felt getting all that crap and harassment from Nick, and then see him posting lies on here about things, posting all these sad lyrics about trying to get love and happiness back, posting stuff to manipulate people and get their sympathy. I don't know if your daughter or wife were violated and the person who did it were able to be free and then be able to lie and manipulate others right in front of their faces, I would think they'd be pretty hurt and angry.

I say post the new "code of conduct" and let him back in at the same time.

I think that's a thing that frustrates me. Back when a lot of this stuff was happening you guys were upset, you were wanting to know who Exodus was. It's like we were led on to believe that you guys cared and wanted to do something about it, and would do something about it. I know you guys care to an extent. But now it's like we've gotten the information we needed and presented it to you guys, and then you decided you weren't going to do anything. It's like why did we even bother?

The main reason I agreed that he should have been banned was because of the posing issue. But since there wasn't any rules in place, how can we say he broke any?

I totally understand about seeing him posting as a type of gloating on his part but isn't there an ignore feature here yet? If not, I think we should talk with Tim the way we did to get the e-gram ignore feature installed ASAP.

<edit> Found it

If there are users whose posts you prefer not to see, list them here, one user name per line.

(Ignored users also can not send you Private Messages)

Above all of this, I don't want this to ruin friendships. I've been friends with you guys a long time, and I don't want to be out hunting or out hanging out and not be able to have fun with your guys or joke with you. I'm not going to hate you guys for this, whatever happens.

You're still the funniest CC member there is TMK

I think we need to post the code of conduct and the suggestion thread. I have a feeling that the Nick thing will come up on it's own, without us having to prompt things. Things can go from there. We can at least discuss things as a whole, as a community. We'll have the standards out there at least. If he comes back, then he has to abide by the standards. If he wants to bring this up in the public forum, then I say he is opening himself up to cross-examination. We've got the truth and reason on our side. If he wants to take that on, then he is free to do so.

And yet people want to question that reasoning for making me a moderator. I just don't get it.

I don't think people were questioning the the MODs as individuals but rather the method in which we became MODS.