From the ones that I have seen on that list, I would have to say they're pretty accurate. Although I did enjoy Son of Mask's non-stop energy effects. Plus I went into it thinking it was gonna suck anyway.
A new young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to help the other monks in copying the old canons and law of the church, by hand. He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript. So, the new monk goes to the head abbot to question this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy, it would never be picked up.
In fact, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies. The head monk, says,
"We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son."
So, he goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery, where the original manuscript is held as archives in a locked vault that hasn't been opened for hundreds of years. Hours go by and nobody sees the old Abbot. So, the young monk gets worried and goes downstairs to look for him.
He sees him banging his head against the wall, and wailing "We forgot the 'R', we forgot the 'R'."
His forehead is all bloody and bruised and he is crying uncontrollably. The young monk asks the old abbot, "What's wrong, father?"
With a choking voice, the old Abbot replies, "Celebrate, the word is Celebrate!"
Number 7 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
and its corrolary. show a man fire, he'll be warm for a few hours. set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
Number 6 - Some people are like a Slinky.....not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
amen! kinda like how danny bonaduce opened up his show. "my life is like a car accident. and you have every right to slow down and watch the accident."
Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
Chuck Norris has two speeds: walk and kill.
When Chuck Norris was a teenager, he once impregnated every nun in a convent tucked away in the Himalaya mountains. 9 months later, the nuns all gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in NFL history.
When the Boogeyman goes to bed he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck once got shot in the head. He then proceeded to surgically remove the bullet with his beard as foreceps and then ate it because his daily iron count was low.
Ice isnÂ’t cold water, itÂ’s water that is scared still by Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris’s wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Chuck said, “Don’t worry about it honey,” and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, “Never question Chuck Norris.”
Chuck Norris wears a live rattlesnake as a condom.
Chuck Norris has an ongoing feud with the Keebler elves. It started when they stole his idea for putting a kitchen in a tree. While the elves now make subpar cookies in the tree, ChuckÂ’s tree contains a fully functioning crystal meth lab.
Chuck Norris can actually breath fire.
A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is “Charles”. Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.
In the back of the Guinness Book of World Records it states “All records are currently held by Chuck Norris, and the records listed in this book are only the records of those people who have come closest to Chuck Norris’s records.”
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
When Chuck Norris runs with scissors, other people get hurt.
The friction in chuck norrisÂ’s jeans after he does a roundhouse kick is the actual cause of global warming
minnesota weather and politics.
Who's brilliant idea was that?
IMDb Bottom 100
Neither is Zoolander.
What's with that?
Is that true?
Screamers comes to mind.
Was that on the list?
only movie I walked out of a theater ...and I had 3 kids with me...and they agreed.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0117768/
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0093072/
the garbage pail kids movie is on that list.
Here's a quiz of the day!!
I wanna know what CM's is...I know he's got leather pants.
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In fact, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies. The head monk, says,
"We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son."
So, he goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery, where the original manuscript is held as archives in a locked vault that hasn't been opened for hundreds of years. Hours go by and nobody sees the old Abbot. So, the young monk gets worried and goes downstairs to look for him.
He sees him banging his head against the wall, and wailing "We forgot the 'R', we forgot the 'R'."
His forehead is all bloody and bruised and he is crying uncontrollably. The young monk asks the old abbot, "What's wrong, father?"
With a choking voice, the old Abbot replies, "Celebrate, the word is Celebrate!"
This link courtesy of Lorrie
Lorrie, "Let's Talk Dirty...." #1078, 12 Jan 2006 5:59 am
The Older We Get
I thought it was a clever one.
A three-year-old boy was examining his testicles while taking a bath.
"Mom", he asked, "are these my brains?"
"Not yet," she replied
Number 10 - Life is sexually transmitted.
 Number 9 - Good health is merely the slowest
 possible rate at which one can die.
 Number 8 - Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny.
 If you see him without an erection, make him a
 sandwich.
 Number 7 - Give a person a fish and you feed them
 for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and
 they won't bother you for weeks.
Number 6 - Some people are like a Slinky.....not
 really good for anything, but you still can't help
 but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
Number 5 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid
 someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
Number 4 - All of us could take a lesson from the
 weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
Number 3 - Why does a slight tax increase cost you
 two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves
 you thirty cents?
Number 2 - In the 60's, people took acid to make the
 world weird. Now the world is weird and people take
 Prozac to make it normal.
AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2006---
 We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease
 is located among the millions and millions of cows
 but we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of
 illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe
 we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge
 of Immigration.
and its corrolary. show a man fire, he'll be warm for a few hours. set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
Number 6 - Some people are like a Slinky.....not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
amen! kinda like how danny bonaduce opened up his show. "my life is like a car accident. and you have every right to slow down and watch the accident."
Things have been a bit tough today and life is getting
shorter and shorter every day. I want to take time and
smell the roses. So I am going to quit posting jokes
and travel full time with a biker gang to see the country
and enjoy life while I still can. Don't worry about me - they
all seem like really nice people. It has been nice emailing
you, But it's time to say good bye.
A photo of the biker gang is below.
or should I say heh
i'm sure one of you guys can photo shop your mugs in over the fellas.
that would make me happy too.
I'm 3rd from the left
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
Chuck Norris has two speeds: walk and kill.
When Chuck Norris was a teenager, he once impregnated every nun in a convent tucked away in the Himalaya mountains. 9 months later, the nuns all gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in NFL history.
When the Boogeyman goes to bed he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck once got shot in the head. He then proceeded to surgically remove the bullet with his beard as foreceps and then ate it because his daily iron count was low.
Ice isnÂ’t cold water, itÂ’s water that is scared still by Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris’s wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Chuck said, “Don’t worry about it honey,” and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, “Never question Chuck Norris.”
Chuck Norris wears a live rattlesnake as a condom.
Chuck Norris has an ongoing feud with the Keebler elves. It started when they stole his idea for putting a kitchen in a tree. While the elves now make subpar cookies in the tree, ChuckÂ’s tree contains a fully functioning crystal meth lab.
Chuck Norris can actually breath fire.
A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is “Charles”. Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.
In the back of the Guinness Book of World Records it states “All records are currently held by Chuck Norris, and the records listed in this book are only the records of those people who have come closest to Chuck Norris’s records.”
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
When Chuck Norris runs with scissors, other people get hurt.
The friction in chuck norrisÂ’s jeans after he does a roundhouse kick is the actual cause of global warming
chuck norris finds the medallion every year, returns it to the pioneer press and makes them rehide it atleast 5 times a year.
chuck norris created the medallion hunt
chuck norris invented newspapers
chuck norris once roundhouse kicked the vulcans firetruck for changing lanes without signalling, that year it was -15 degrees in june
Chuck Norris knows the Camo Crue dresses in camoflauge because it helps them hide easier from him because they fear him so much.
Chuck Norris does not need to register a button. Nobody tells Chuck Norris he can't have the full prize.
Chuck Norris can dig for hours with nothing more than hand warmers taped to his testicles.