I f a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port, and the bus is interrupted at a very last resort, and the access of the memory makes your floppy disk abort, then the socket packet pocket has an error to report.
If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash, and the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash, and your data is corrupted cause the index doesn't hash, then your situation's hopeless and your system's gonna crash!
If the label on the cable on the table at your house, says the network is connected to the button on your mouse, but your packets want to tunnel to another protocol, that's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall......
And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss, so your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse; then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang, 'cuz sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang.
When the copy on your floppy's getting sloppy in the disk, and the macro code instructions is causing unnecessary risk, then you'll have to flash the memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM, and then quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your Mom!
Well, that certainly clears things up for me. How about you?
Thank you, Bill Gates, for bringing all this into our lives.
Your sweetie says communication is important in a marriage...so you buy another computer and network them together so that you can IM each other anytime.
As your car crashes through the guardrail on a mountain road, your first instinct is to search for the "back" button.
All of your friends have an @ in their names.
You bring a bag lunch to the computer.
You have withdrawals if you are away from the computer for more than a few hours.
You take a speed reading course to keep up with the scrolling.
You type faster than you think.
You double click your TV remote.
You can now type over 70 WPM.
You check your e-mail and forget you have real mail.
You go into withdrawals during dinner.
You rank your friends by the amount of bandwith they have.
You have "Googled" all your friends to try to find out anything interesteing that they are not telling you and you can use against them later.
You message someone via IM when they are less than 20 feet away.
The sound of the keys clicking turns you on.
You have more browsers than friends in the real world.
You actually say I-M-O and A-T-M to real friends rather than 'in my opinion' and 'at the moment'. And they give you strange looks.
You run four chat programs all at once... Yahoo Messenger, ICQ, AIM and MSN
You sign off and your screen says you were on for 3 days and 45 minutes.
You purchase a vanity car license plate with your screen name on it. doh'!! :wink:
You say "he he he he" or "heh heh heh" instead of laughing. HeH!
You talk on the phone with the same person you are sending an instant message to. mmmmm
You get up in the morning and go online before getting your coffee. NEVER!
The letters have come off your keyboard from excessive use.
You order pizza online - because you can't be bothered to call.
You say "SCROLL UP" when someone asks what it was you said.
You look at an annoying person off line and wish that you had your ignore button handy
As a trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker lowers the window, and she says "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load." The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street.
When the truck stops for another red light, the girl catches up again. She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door. Again, the trucker lowers the window. As if they've never spoken, the blonde says brightly, "Hi my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!"
Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down the street.
At the third red light, the same thing happens again. All out of breath, the blonde gets out of her car, runs up, knocks on the truck door. The trucker rolls down the window. Again she says "Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!"
When the light turns green the trucker revs up and races to the next light. When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck, and runs back to the blonde. He knocks on her window, and after she lowers it, he says...
"Hi, my name is Kevin, it's winter in Minnesota and I'm driving the SALT TRUCK!"
JOE!!!
valley and on your right side is a fire engine traveling at the same
speed
as you. In front of you is a galloping pig which is the same size as
your
car and you cannot overtake it. Behind you is a helicopter flying at
ground level. Both the giant pig and the helicopter are also traveling
at
the same speed as you. What must you do to safely get out of this highly
dangerous situation?
Page down for Answer:
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Get off the children's Merry-Go-Round, you're hammered.
so in her blonde wisdom, she went to florida to catch an aligator.
and did.
however after she caught him she realized...
damn! this one isn't wearing shoes!
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I swear Mike, you and I must have a similar friend that we don't know about cause we constantly get the same e-mails ---
by Dr. Seuss
I f a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port, and the bus is interrupted at a very last resort, and the access of the memory makes your floppy disk abort, then the socket packet pocket has an error to report.
If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash, and the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash, and your data is corrupted cause the index doesn't hash, then your situation's hopeless and your system's gonna crash!
If the label on the cable on the table at your house, says the network is connected to the button on your mouse, but your packets want to tunnel to another protocol, that's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall......
And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss, so your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse; then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang, 'cuz sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang.
When the copy on your floppy's getting sloppy in the disk, and the macro code instructions is causing unnecessary risk, then you'll have to flash the memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM, and then quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your Mom!
Well, that certainly clears things up for me. How about you?
Thank you, Bill Gates, for bringing all this into our lives.
You kiss you girlfriend's home page.
Your bookmarks list takes 15 minutes to scroll from top to bottom.
You find yourself brainstorming for new subjects to Google. ...no comment
You refuse to go to a vacation spot with no electricity and no phone lines. YUP!
You finally do take that vacation, but only after buying a cellular modem and a laptop.
You spend half of the plane trip with your laptop on your lap.... and your kid in the overhead compartment.
Your dreams are in HTML.
You find yourself typing "com" after every period when using a word processor.
You turn your computer off and get this awful epmty feeling, like you just pulled the plug of your loved one. :frown:
You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading. Ares
You start introducing yourself as "Jana at I-I-Net dot net dot au"
You turn up the volume read loud when leaving the room so you can hear if anyone IM's you.
You wife drapes a blond wig over the monitor to remind you of what she looks like.
All of your friends have an @ in their names.
Looking at a pageful of someone else's links, you notice that you've been to all of them.
Your dog has its own webpage.
You believe nothing looks sexier than a man in shamrock boxer shorts illuminated by a 17" LCD Flat-Panel Monitor.
You check your mail. It says "no new messages." So you check it again. :frown:
You code your homework in HTML and give your intsructor the URL.
You don't know what sex your three closeset friends are, because they have nuetral screennames and you never bothered to ask.
You name your children Google, Friendster and Blogger (kitch--:wink: )
You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop and check your e-mail on the way back.
Your virtual girlfriend finds a new sweetheart with a larger bandwidth.
You buy a Captain Kirk Chair with a built in keyboard and mouse. kc0rn :wink:
Your wife makes a new rule: "The computer can not come to bed" - not in my house!
The last hottie you picked up was only a jpeg.
hahahahaha
You put a pillow case over your laptop so your lover doesn't see it while youre pretending to catch your breath.
You ask a plumber how much it would cost you to replace the chair in front of your computer with a toilet.
You start tilting your head sideways to smile.
You ask a doctor to implant a terrabyte in your brain.
Your sweetie says communication is important in a marriage...so you buy another computer and network them together so that you can IM each other anytime.
As your car crashes through the guardrail on a mountain road, your first instinct is to search for the "back" button.
All of your friends have an @ in their names.
You bring a bag lunch to the computer.
You have withdrawals if you are away from the computer for more than a few hours.
You take a speed reading course to keep up with the scrolling.
You type faster than you think.
You double click your TV remote.
You can now type over 70 WPM.
You check your e-mail and forget you have real mail.
You go into withdrawals during dinner.
You rank your friends by the amount of bandwith they have.
You have "Googled" all your friends to try to find out anything interesteing that they are not telling you and you can use against them later.
You message someone via IM when they are less than 20 feet away.
The sound of the keys clicking turns you on.
You have more browsers than friends in the real world.
You actually say I-M-O and A-T-M to real friends rather than 'in my opinion' and 'at the moment'. And they give you strange looks.
You run four chat programs all at once... Yahoo Messenger, ICQ, AIM and MSN
You sign off and your screen says you were on for 3 days and 45 minutes.
You purchase a vanity car license plate with your screen name on it. doh'!! :wink:
You say "he he he he" or "heh heh heh" instead of laughing. HeH!
You talk on the phone with the same person you are sending an instant message to. mmmmm
You get up in the morning and go online before getting your coffee. NEVER!
The letters have come off your keyboard from excessive use.
You order pizza online - because you can't be bothered to call.
You say "SCROLL UP" when someone asks what it was you said.
You look at an annoying person off line and wish that you had your ignore button handy
and
You purchase a vanity car license plate with your screen name on it. doh'!!
LUV4VNO... you caught me!
Here I thought she just made that one up. heh :eyeroll:
You're weird one Vino :wink:
indeed I am... that is what makes me Sooo damn adorable.
When the truck stops for another red light, the girl catches up again. She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door. Again, the trucker lowers the window. As if they've never spoken, the blonde says brightly, "Hi my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!"
Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down the street.
At the third red light, the same thing happens again. All out of breath, the blonde gets out of her car, runs up, knocks on the truck door. The trucker rolls down the window. Again she says "Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!"
When the light turns green the trucker revs up and races to the next light. When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck, and runs back to the blonde. He knocks on her window, and after she lowers it, he says...
"Hi, my name is Kevin, it's winter in Minnesota and I'm driving the SALT TRUCK!"
'
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'
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You can drop her off anywhere.
Four Catholic ladies are having coffee together,
 discussing how important their children are.
The first one tells her friends, "My son is a priest.
 When he walks into a room, everyone call s him "Father."
The second Catholic woman chirps,
 "Well, my son is a Bishop. Whenever he walks
 into a room, people say, 'Your Grace'."
The third Catholic woman says smugly,
 "Well, not to put you down, but my son is a Cardinal.
 Whenever he walks into a room, people say
 'Your Eminence'."
The fourth Catholic woman sips her coffee in silence.
The first three women give her this subtle "Well...?"
 She replies, "My son is a gorgeous, 6'4", hard bodied,
 well hung, male stripper. Whenever he walks into a room,
 women say, "My God...."