I was trying to figure out a way with this new shareware program that I got, to make the dude in post #830 dance back and forth, but I couldnt get it to work.
I guess he's just gonna have to stand there, in his stylin gear, looking fresh.
Sven & Ole worked together and both were laid off,so they went to the unemployment office. Asked his occupation, Ole said, "Panty Stitcher. I sew the elastic onto ladies cotton panties." The clerk looked up panty stitcher and found it classified as unskilled labor, so she gave him $300 a week employment pay.
Sven was asked his occupation."Diesel fitter" he replied. Since diesel fitter was a skilled job, the clerk gave Sven $600 a week. When Ole found out he was furious. He stormed back into the office to find out why his friend and coworker was collecting double his pay. The clerk explained, "Panty stichers are unskilled and diesel fitters are skilled labor." "What skill?" yelled Ole. "I sew the elastic on the panties, Sven puts them over his head and says, yah, diesel fitter."
A woman had tickets to game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals right at center ice. As she sits down, a man comes over and asks if anyone is sitting next to her.
“No,” she says, “the seat is empty.”
“This is incredible,” said the man. “Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Stanley Cup and not use it?”
She says, “Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my husband, but he passed away. This is the first Stanley Cup we haven’t been to together since we got married in 1967.”
“Oh . . . I’m sorry to hear that. That’s terrible. But couldn’t you find someone else – a friend or relative, or even a neighbor – to take the seat?”
:smile:
Here we go :smile:
I guess he's just gonna have to stand there, in his stylin gear, looking fresh.
I can honestly say I didnt miss him.
Sven was asked his occupation."Diesel fitter" he replied. Since diesel fitter was a skilled job, the clerk gave Sven $600 a week. When Ole found out he was furious. He stormed back into the office to find out why his friend and coworker was collecting double his pay. The clerk explained, "Panty stichers are unskilled and diesel fitters are skilled labor." "What skill?" yelled Ole. "I sew the elastic on the panties, Sven puts them over his head and says, yah, diesel fitter."
“No,” she says, “the seat is empty.”
“This is incredible,” said the man. “Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Stanley Cup and not use it?”
She says, “Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my husband, but he passed away. This is the first Stanley Cup we haven’t been to together since we got married in 1967.”
“Oh . . . I’m sorry to hear that. That’s terrible. But couldn’t you find someone else – a friend or relative, or even a neighbor – to take the seat?”
The woman shakes her head.
“No. They’re all at the funeral.”
are 7 kinds of sex:
The 1st kind of sex is called:
Smurf Sex. This kind of sex happens
when you first meet someone and
you both have sex until you are
blue in the face.
The 2nd kind of sex is called:
Kitchen Sex. This is when you have
been with your partner for a short
time and you are so horny you will
have sex anywhere, even in the
kitchen.
The 3rd kind of sex is called:
Bedroom Sex. This is when you have
been with your partner for a long
time. Your sex has gotten routine
and you usually have sex only in
your bedroom.
The 4th kind of sex is called:
Hallway Sex. This is when you have
been with your partner for too
long. When you pass each other in
the hallway you both say "Fuck You"
The 5th kind of sex is called:
Religious Sex, which means you get
Nun in the morning, Nun in the
afternoon and Nun at night.
The 6th kind is called:
Courtroom Sex. This is when you
cannot stand your wife any more.
She takes you to court and screws
you in front of everyone.
the 7th kind of sex is called:
Social Security Sex. You get a
little each month. But not enough
to live on
morning, and this dick in a truck
pulls out in front of me........
http://howtoprankatelemarketer.ytmnd.com:80/
He whipped out in front me the other day but I have not had time to post the pic! :sillygrin:
I WONDER IF IT LEAKS ANY FLUIDS.
I JUST NOTICED TODAY MY CAR IS LEAKING A LITTLE OIL.
I wonder if he was out looking for his missing cold pussy?
give it time....... a little more....... it'll come to you.......at least some of you anyway...
anyone?
Nice
Indubitably
Innovative
Preliminary
Proliferation
Cinnamon
THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK:
Specificity
British Constitution
Passive-aggressive disorder
Loquacious Transubstantiate
THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK:
Thanks, but I don't want to have sex
Nope, no more booze for me
Sorry, but you're not really my type
Good evening officer, isn't it lovely out tonight
Oh, I just couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing