I'm still not sure if you really did it or not because I can totally see you doing that!
NOW, my sisters daughter is 16 (7 months older than Sarah). My 10 yr old daughter has a fetish with babies. She has a set of twins (girl & boy) and a baby boy that look real. One day, my niece babysat Ben, the boy doll. She and her friend took Ben out in a stroller up Summit Ave...people stopped to look at the baby and actually hold Ben.... they went into the local pharmacy on Grand Avenue, WITH the baby in the stroller, and asked the cashier about the selection of condoms next to the counter!!! I can only imagine the look on the cashiers face. I love my niece!!
Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker function and begins
to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
MAN: "Hello"
WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
MAN: "Yes"
WOMAN: "I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"
MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."
WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2007
models. I saw one I really liked."
MAN: "How much?"
WOMAN: "$90,000"
MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."
WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing...the house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000"
MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of $900,000. They will probably take it. If not, we can go the extra 50 thousand if it's really a pretty good price."
WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!"
MAN: "Bye! I love you, too."
The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths agape.
He turns and asks: "Anyone know who this phone belongs to?"
For those of you who have sons & those of you who are happy that you don't.
And you also find out interesting things when you have sons, like
1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a
crowded restaurant.
4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not
strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.
When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a
baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's
already too late.
8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even
though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.
10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-
year old Boy.
11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same
sentence.
12.) Super glue is forever.
13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you
still can't walk on water.
14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15.) VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV
commercials show they do.
16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys
do not like ovens.
20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response
time.
21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make
earthworms dizzy.
22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24.) 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their
friends, with or without kids.
25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake
inexplicably mimicing him hicupping
while amicably welcoming him in...
when I can't say that, it's cab time....
HAD A BAD HEAD GASKET.
I love you guys ~ always seem to give me a great laugh
easily a Snow Penis Top 10
I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for my dog Pol - and was
in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog........
Duh!
I was feeling a bit crabby so on impulse, I told her no, I was
starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because
I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds
before I awakened in an intensive care unit with tubes coming out of
most of my orifices and IV's in both arms. Her eyes about bugged out of
her head.
I went on and on with the bogus diet story and she was totally
buying it. I told her that it was an easy, inexpensive diet and that
the way it works is to load your pockets or purse with Purina nuggets
and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry.
The package said the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to
try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by
now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her.
Horrified, she asked if something in the dog food had poisoned me and
was that why I ended up in the hospital?
I said no.....I'd been sitting in the street licking my butt when a
car hit me.
I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door.
NOW, my sisters daughter is 16 (7 months older than Sarah). My 10 yr old daughter has a fetish with babies. She has a set of twins (girl & boy) and a baby boy that look real. One day, my niece babysat Ben, the boy doll. She and her friend took Ben out in a stroller up Summit Ave...people stopped to look at the baby and actually hold Ben.... they went into the local pharmacy on Grand Avenue, WITH the baby in the stroller, and asked the cashier about the selection of condoms next to the counter!!! I can only imagine the look on the cashiers face. I love my niece!!
:sheepish: :goofy:
we usually try to get as much crap on tape as possible...
eventually theres gonna be DVD..... :cool:
This is funny and it will boggle your mind.
And you will keep trying at least 50 more times to see if you can outsmart your foot, but you can't ................
Mind control does NOT work either!!
1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.
2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand.
Your foot will change direction. I told you so .....And there's nothing you can do about it!!
Start by drawing imaginary circles clockwise above your head with your finger.
Continue this circular motion while slowly bringing your hand down so that now you are looking down on the circles being formed.
How did they change to counter clockwise?!?!?
Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker function and begins
to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
MAN: "Hello"
WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
MAN: "Yes"
WOMAN: "I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"
MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."
WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2007
models. I saw one I really liked."
MAN: "How much?"
WOMAN: "$90,000"
MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."
WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing...the house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000"
MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of $900,000. They will probably take it. If not, we can go the extra 50 thousand if it's really a pretty good price."
WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!"
MAN: "Bye! I love you, too."
The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths agape.
He turns and asks: "Anyone know who this phone belongs to?"
Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the
tree. Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they sometimes take the
apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy. The apples at
the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're
amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the
one who is brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.
Now Men.... Men are like a fine wine. They begin as grapes, and
it's up to women to stomp the shit out of them until they turn into
something acceptable to have dinner with.
<--------------------- Glad he didn't marry Liquor Lady....
:wink:
10.
9.
8.
7.
6.
5.
4.
3.
2.
1. they have boobies
:ooh:
Are you sure??? Maybe we should check... :pbpt:
What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
If we donÂ’t get some support soon people are going to think weÂ’re nuts!
well, at least at 1:50am...
Hope I didn't wake anyone... :pbpt:
Cheers bud. metoo :cool:
And you also find out interesting things when you have sons, like
1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a
crowded restaurant.
4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not
strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.
When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a
baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's
already too late.
8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even
though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.
10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-
year old Boy.
11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same
sentence.
12.) Super glue is forever.
13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you
still can't walk on water.
14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15.) VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV
commercials show they do.
16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys
do not like ovens.
20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response
time.
21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make
earthworms dizzy.
22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24.) 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their
friends, with or without kids.
25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake
fluid.