Shit. I guess I'm a man. The first thing I thought of was mixing the bleach and brake fluid (although, I have to admit I wasn't sure where to get brake fluid).
I wonder if brake fluid is or has some component of acid to it. My job involves managing bulk deliveries of chemical, and I know that chlorines and acids cannot travel on the same truck. As far as I know the results would be "BOOM" if the two chemicals mixed.
Don't know, but looks like that myth is busted, heh.
Reminds me of all the reading I've been doing lately on anodizing aluminum (I have a project I wanted to try it out on). Lotsa chemicals and whatnot, only then you're adding electricity to the mix :ooh:
in the small town of Garfield, NJ, a fire started inside the local sausage factory. In a blink the building was engulfed in flames. The alarm went out to all the fire departments for miles around.
When the first volunteer fire fighters appeared on the scene, the sausage company president rushed to the fire chief and said, "All of our secret sausage recipes are in the vault in the center of the plant. They must be saved. I will donate $50,000 to the fire department that brings them out and delivers them to me."
But the roaring flames held the firefighters off. Soon more fire departments had to be ca lled in because the situation became desperate.. As the firemen arrived, the president shouted out that the offer to extricate the secret recipes was now $100,000 to the fire department that could save them.
Suddenly from up the road, a lone siren was heard as another fire truck came into sight. It was the fire engine of the nearby Lodi, NJ volunteer fire department composed mainly of Italian firefighters over the age of 65
To everyone's amazement, the little run-down fire engine, operated by these Italian firefighters, passed fire engines parked outside the plant, and drove straight into the middle of the inferno. Outside, the other firemen watched in amazement as the Italian old timers jumped off and began to fight the fire with a performance that was as if they were fighting to save their own lives Within a short time, the Lodi old timers had extinguished the fire and saved the secret recipes.
The grateful sausage company president joyfully announced that fo r such a superhuman accomplishment he was upping the reward to $200,000, and walked over to personally thank each of the brave elderly Italian firefighters.
A TV news crew rushed in after capturing the event on film. The 'on camera' reporter asked the Italian fire chief, "What are you going to do with all that money?"
"Wella," said Chief Pasquale De Luccinellavanti, the 70-year-old fire chief, "de fursta tinga we gonnna do isza fixa uppa de brakes on dat fockinna truck!!"
He wasn't working the registers when I was there. I told him I would pop my head in every day and would only stop by if he was working the cash. :wink: :smile:
A new study at the University of North Dakota showed that the kind of male face a woman finds attractive mostly differs depending on where a woman is in her menstrual cycle. For instance, if she is ovulating she is attracted to men with rugged, masculine features and if she is menstruating she is more prone to be attracted to a man with scissors shoved into his temple.
Two Minnesotans walk into a pet shop in Dingle, Mn. They head to the
bird section and Sven says to Hans, "Dat's dem." The owner comes over
and asks if he can help them. "Yeah, we'll take four of dem dere little
budgies in dat cage up dere," says Sven. The owner puts the budgies in
a paper bag.
Hans and Sven pay for the birds, leave the shop and get into Sven's
pick-up and
drive to the top of the Conor Pass. At Conor Pass, Sven looks down the
1000-foot drop and says: "Dis looks like a grand place."
He takes two birds out of the bag, puts them on his shoulders and
jumps off the cliff. Hans watches as Sven falls all the way to the bottom, killing himself stone dead.
Looking down at the remains of his best pal, Hans shakes his head
and says: "Dis budgie jumping is too dangerous for me."
BUT WAIT!!!! there's MORE!
v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v
PART TWO: Moments later Ole arrives at Conor Pass. He's been to the
pet shop too and walks up to the edge of the cliff carrying a paper bag in one hand and a shotgun in the other. "Hi, Hans. Watch dis," Ole says. He takes a parrot from the bag and throws himself over the edge of the cliff. Hans watches as half way down, Ole takes the gun and shoots the parrot. Ole continues to plummet down and down until he hits the bottom and breaks every bone in his body.
Hans shakes his head and says, "And I'm never trying dat
parrotshooting either."
BUT WAIT!!!!.....There's MORE!!
v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v
PART THREE:
Hans is just getting over the shock of losing two friends when Lars
appears.He's also been to the pet shop and is carrying a paper bag out of which he pulls a chicken. Lars then grasps the chicken by the legs holds it over his head and hurls himself off the cliff and disappears down and down until he hits a rock and breaks his head.
Once more Hans shakes his head - "First der was Sven with his budgie
jumping,den Ole parrotshooting ...... and now Lars is hengliding.....
Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place. Looking up to heaven he said, "Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish Whiskey!"
Miraculously, a parking place appeared.
Paddy looked up again and said, "Never mind, I found one."
He was patiently waiting and watching the traffic cop on a busy street crossing. The cop stopped the flow of traffic and shouted, "Okay, pedestrians." Then he'd allow the traffic to pass.
He'd done this several times, and Paddy still stood on the sidewalk.
After the cop had shouted, "Pedestrians!" for the tenth time, Paddy went over to him and said, "Is it not about time ye let the Catholics across?"
An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.
He says, "Sir, have you been drinking?"
"Just water," says the priest.
The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?"
The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it again!"
Flynn staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Paddy. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Mary.
He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step. As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump. A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful.
Managing not to yell, Flynn sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding. He managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each place he saw blood.
He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and shuffled and stumbled his way to bed.
In the morning, Flynn woke up with searing pain in both his head and butt and Mary staring at him from across the room.
She said, "You were drunk again last night weren't you?"
Flynn said, "Why you say such a mean thing?"
"Well," Mary said, "it could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly.....it's all those Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror.
Just got this e-mail. I think I've heard the punchline somewhere before.
I Love this DOCTOR'S Advice !!!!!
HEALTH QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION
Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... Don't waste them on exercise . Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!
A: You're not listening....Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?
Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.
And remember:
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming, "WOO HOO, What a Ride!"
26. permanent marker may not be permanent but when used in excess can take a week to wash off your little brother.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=IUDqk_sndwA
Maybe it's chlorine & break fluid?
Reminds me of all the reading I've been doing lately on anodizing aluminum (I have a project I wanted to try it out on). Lotsa chemicals and whatnot, only then you're adding electricity to the mix :ooh:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=Kkf1l8Q8P2w&mode=related&search=
http://youtube.com/watch?v=Kkf1l8Q8P2w&mode=related&search=
huh???
same thing.
Too bad some kids blew stuff up and blamed it on that...
When the first volunteer fire fighters appeared on the scene, the sausage company president rushed to the fire chief and said, "All of our secret sausage recipes are in the vault in the center of the plant. They must be saved. I will donate $50,000 to the fire department that brings them out and delivers them to me."
But the roaring flames held the firefighters off. Soon more fire departments had to be ca lled in because the situation became desperate.. As the firemen arrived, the president shouted out that the offer to extricate the secret recipes was now $100,000 to the fire department that could save them.
Suddenly from up the road, a lone siren was heard as another fire truck came into sight. It was the fire engine of the nearby Lodi, NJ volunteer fire department composed mainly of Italian firefighters over the age of 65
To everyone's amazement, the little run-down fire engine, operated by these Italian firefighters, passed fire engines parked outside the plant, and drove straight into the middle of the inferno. Outside, the other firemen watched in amazement as the Italian old timers jumped off and began to fight the fire with a performance that was as if they were fighting to save their own lives Within a short time, the Lodi old timers had extinguished the fire and saved the secret recipes.
The grateful sausage company president joyfully announced that fo r such a superhuman accomplishment he was upping the reward to $200,000, and walked over to personally thank each of the brave elderly Italian firefighters.
A TV news crew rushed in after capturing the event on film. The 'on camera' reporter asked the Italian fire chief, "What are you going to do with all that money?"
"Wella," said Chief Pasquale De Luccinellavanti, the 70-year-old fire chief, "de fursta tinga we gonnna do isza fixa uppa de brakes on dat fockinna truck!!"
Hey - Guess who I went out of my way to bump into tonight? Heh
He owes me big time for not pulling out the camera in my pocket and snapping a picture of him with his hair net on. :smile:
It was cool to see him though. Thanks for letting me know he worked there. :cool:
(don't think he needs a hair net where he has been reported to eat...) :wink:
I like to drop in there and make fun of his apron and crap, from time to time. :goofy:
For all of us who are married, were married, wish
you were married, or wish you weren't married, this
is something to smile about the next time you see a
bottle of wine:
Sally was driving home from one of her business
trips in Northern Arizona when sh e saw an elderly
Navajo woman walking on the side of the road.
As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped
the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like
a ride.
With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into
the car.
Resuming the journey, Sally tried in vain to make
a bit of small talk with the Navajo woman. The old
woman just sat silently, looking intently at
everything she saw, studying every little detail,
until she noticed a brown bag on the seat next to
Sally.
"What in bag?" asked the old woman.
Sally looked down at the brown bag and said, "It's
a bottle of wine. I got it for my husband."
The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or
two.
Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder,
she said: "Good trade....."
This is funny! Or not!
42 inches - wow!
Thank you, Thank you very much :eyeroll:
I like the dudes birthday :smile:
now I don't feel so bad.
Two Minnesotans walk into a pet shop in Dingle, Mn. They head to the
bird section and Sven says to Hans, "Dat's dem." The owner comes over
and asks if he can help them. "Yeah, we'll take four of dem dere little
budgies in dat cage up dere," says Sven. The owner puts the budgies in
a paper bag.
Hans and Sven pay for the birds, leave the shop and get into Sven's
pick-up and
drive to the top of the Conor Pass. At Conor Pass, Sven looks down the
1000-foot drop and says: "Dis looks like a grand place."
He takes two birds out of the bag, puts them on his shoulders and
jumps off the cliff. Hans watches as Sven falls all the way to the bottom, killing himself stone dead.
Looking down at the remains of his best pal, Hans shakes his head
and says: "Dis budgie jumping is too dangerous for me."
BUT WAIT!!!! there's MORE!
v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v
PART TWO: Moments later Ole arrives at Conor Pass. He's been to the
pet shop too and walks up to the edge of the cliff carrying a paper bag in one hand and a shotgun in the other. "Hi, Hans. Watch dis," Ole says. He takes a parrot from the bag and throws himself over the edge of the cliff. Hans watches as half way down, Ole takes the gun and shoots the parrot. Ole continues to plummet down and down until he hits the bottom and breaks every bone in his body.
Hans shakes his head and says, "And I'm never trying dat
parrotshooting either."
BUT WAIT!!!!.....There's MORE!!
v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v
PART THREE:
Hans is just getting over the shock of losing two friends when Lars
appears.He's also been to the pet shop and is carrying a paper bag out of which he pulls a chicken. Lars then grasps the chicken by the legs holds it over his head and hurls himself off the cliff and disappears down and down until he hits a rock and breaks his head.
Once more Hans shakes his head - "First der was Sven with his budgie
jumping,den Ole parrotshooting ...... and now Lars is hengliding.....
Miraculously, a parking place appeared.
Paddy looked up again and said, "Never mind, I found one."
The man said, "I do, Father."
The priest said, "Then stand over there against the wall."
Then the priest asked the second man, "Do you want to go to heaven?"
"Certainly, Father," was the man's reply.
"Then stand over there against the wall," said the priest.
Then Father Murphy walked up to O'Toole and said, "Do you want to go to heaven?"
O'Toole said, "No, I don't Father."
The priest said, "I don't believe this. You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven?"
O'Toole said, "Oh, when I die, yes. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now."
He was patiently waiting and watching the traffic cop on a busy street crossing. The cop stopped the flow of traffic and shouted, "Okay, pedestrians." Then he'd allow the traffic to pass.
He'd done this several times, and Paddy still stood on the sidewalk.
After the cop had shouted, "Pedestrians!" for the tenth time, Paddy went over to him and said, "Is it not about time ye let the Catholics across?"
"Did you see the paper?" asked Gallagher. "They say I died!!"
"Yes, I saw it!" replied Finney. "Where are ye callin' from?"
He says, "Sir, have you been drinking?"
"Just water," says the priest.
The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?"
The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it again!"
"Oh yeah?" said Charlie, "And how did this one end?"
"When it was over," Mike replied, "She came to me on her hands and knees.
"Really," said Charles, "Now that's a switch! What did she say?"
She said, "Come out from under the bed, you little chicken."
He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step. As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump. A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful.
Managing not to yell, Flynn sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding. He managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each place he saw blood.
He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and shuffled and stumbled his way to bed.
In the morning, Flynn woke up with searing pain in both his head and butt and Mary staring at him from across the room.
She said, "You were drunk again last night weren't you?"
Flynn said, "Why you say such a mean thing?"
"Well," Mary said, "it could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly.....it's all those Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror.
those were all priceless
thanks terry--- enjoyed them all and especially wish I could see my hubby do this ....
it's all those Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror.
guess thats to be expected when you eat 87 year old wieners.
I Love this DOCTOR'S Advice !!!!!
HEALTH QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION
Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... Don't waste them on exercise . Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: You're not listening....Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable. It's the best feel-good food around!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape! !
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.
And remember:
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming, "WOO HOO, What a Ride!"
Dead Lake, fishing and suckin' down beer, when all of a
Sudden Sven says, "I think I'm going to divorce my wife.
She hasn't spoken to me in over six months."
Ole sips his beer and says, "You better think it over.
Women like that are hard to find."
1. Go to google.com.
2. Click on Maps.
3. Click on Get Directions.
4. From: New York, New York
5. To: Paris, France
6. Then, read line #23.