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Jokes

Submitted by THX 1138 on

Go ahead, make me laugh. I dare ya!

Keep it semi clean!

Liquor Lady

lol!
Fri, 11/16/2007 - 2:10 PM Permalink
Clue Master

I heard you could :eek: :ooh:
Fri, 11/16/2007 - 2:20 PM Permalink
me2

ok, which one of you talked!? :angry:
Fri, 11/16/2007 - 2:28 PM Permalink
Clue Master

That was great!! :sillygrin:
Fri, 12/07/2007 - 9:38 AM Permalink
zephyrus

That was awesome :smile:
Fri, 12/07/2007 - 7:19 PM Permalink
luckykitten

nice
Sat, 12/08/2007 - 5:37 PM Permalink
girlbassist

That is sooo something I would do!
Wed, 12/12/2007 - 7:07 PM Permalink
mrmnmikey

One beautiful December evening Pedro and his girlfriend Rosita were

sitting by the side of the ocean.

It was a romantic full moon, when Pedro said, "Hey, mamacita, let's do

Weeweechu."

Oh no, not now, let's look at the moon!" said Rosita.

Oh, c'mon baby, let's you and I do Weeweechu.

I love you and it's the perfect time," Pedro begged.

"But I wanna just hold your hand and watch the moon." replied Rosita.

Please, corazoncito, just once, do Weeweechu with me."

Rosita looked at Pedro and said, "OK, one time, we'll do Weeweechu."

Pedro grabbed his guitar and they both sang.....

"Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu a

Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year."

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!

NOW GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER!
Mon, 12/17/2007 - 11:42 AM Permalink
KITCH

nice...
Mon, 12/17/2007 - 11:44 AM Permalink
Terry

That is cute!
Mon, 12/17/2007 - 12:44 PM Permalink
Eags

Hoping this will post OK.
Wed, 12/19/2007 - 5:45 PM Permalink
l and a mommy

OMG ok so I just read 90% of all the jokes that were posted since April, I want to know where you guys get this stuff? Elizabeth came in my office twice and said mommy why are you laughing at your computer hahaha
Thu, 12/20/2007 - 7:12 PM Permalink
Clue Master

Good stuff Vanilla!
Fri, 12/21/2007 - 1:01 AM Permalink
CerealKiller

sorry I was board!!!! lol!!!
Fri, 12/21/2007 - 1:01 AM Permalink
CerealKiller

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small club in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he's going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting: ''I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person, because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against, not only blondes, but women in general...and all in the name of humor!''

The ventriloquist is embarrassed and begins to apologize, when the blonde yells, ''You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little jerk on your knee!''
Fri, 01/04/2008 - 10:00 PM Permalink
KC0GRN

if you love bacon, and you love flowcharts, this ones for you.

Mon, 01/07/2008 - 12:11 PM Permalink
Clue Master

BACON!!! :pbpt:
Mon, 01/07/2008 - 12:16 PM Permalink
tim_the_hunter

that is fricken classic!
Mon, 01/07/2008 - 12:40 PM Permalink
mrmnmikey

yea, hot bacon grease on your junk is no fun.
Mon, 01/07/2008 - 1:03 PM Permalink
tim_the_hunter

mikey coming up on a cool personal joe...
Mon, 01/07/2008 - 1:04 PM Permalink
mrmnmikey

evil!
Mon, 01/07/2008 - 1:05 PM Permalink
CerealKiller

am ya mikey cooking in the buff not a site I need to see let alone him running around with a burn on his junk!!! :barf: :barf: :barf:
Mon, 01/07/2008 - 3:45 PM Permalink
Posen

'MARIJUANA FILLED FIREWOOD'

'Hello, is this the Sheriff's Office?'

'Yes. What can I do for you?'

'This is Kitch, I'm calling to report 'bout Clue Master...He's hidin'

marijuana inside his firewood! Don't quite know how he gets it inside them logs, but he's hidin' it there..'

'Thank you very much for the call, sir.'

The next day, twelve Sheriff's Deputies descend on Cluey's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept.

Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana.

They sneer at Cluey and leave.

Shortly, the phone rings at Cluey's house.

'Hey, Cluey! This here's Kitch....Did the Sheriff come?'

'Yeah!'

'Did they chop all of your firewood?'

'Yep! ...into nice, small pieces'

'Happy Birthday, buddy!'
Wed, 01/09/2008 - 10:45 AM Permalink
Clue Master

NICE! :cool:
Wed, 01/09/2008 - 10:53 AM Permalink
tim_the_hunter

I think one of the Vulc crews did this in 2001. And then they used the firewood to make a bonfire.
Wed, 01/09/2008 - 11:17 AM Permalink
KITCH

sad part is that is where cluey hides it...
Wed, 01/09/2008 - 11:24 AM Permalink
tim_the_hunter

he used to hide it in his mullet, but since that is gone his options are limited.
Wed, 01/09/2008 - 11:28 AM Permalink
Clue Master

I hide it in one of my folds.

Hehe :coolfrown: :lipsealed: :sillygrin:
Wed, 01/09/2008 - 2:04 PM Permalink
Mr. Med Hunter

Wow, I didn't need that visual. :eek:
Wed, 01/09/2008 - 7:09 PM Permalink
Posen

truly, his body has gone to pot! :asleep:
Thu, 01/10/2008 - 7:50 AM Permalink
zephyrus

I'm not inhaling.
Thu, 01/10/2008 - 8:29 PM Permalink
Terry

OMG! :sillygrin: :grin: :sillygrin: :eek: :pbpt: :goofy:
Thu, 01/10/2008 - 8:33 PM Permalink
l and a mommy

LMAO
Fri, 01/11/2008 - 10:27 AM Permalink
OT

Got this in an Email from a friend:

New sex survey. It has been determined the most used sexual position for married couples is the doggie position. The man sits up and begs. The woman rolls over and plays dead.
Fri, 01/11/2008 - 11:02 AM Permalink
Eags

Do you know why Canadian couples do it doggie style?

So they can both watch the hockey game.
Fri, 01/11/2008 - 11:14 AM Permalink
Clue Master

Q. What is the noisiest thing in the world?

A. Two skeletons screwing on a tin roof.
Fri, 01/11/2008 - 11:33 AM Permalink
Liquor Lady

that's some funny shyt! :sillygrin:
Sat, 01/12/2008 - 5:52 AM Permalink
l and a mommy

I sat and watched his different video's for probably an hour last night hilarious!
Sat, 01/12/2008 - 7:29 AM Permalink
mrmnmikey

Living Will

Last night my sister and I were sitting in the den and I said to her, 'I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle to keep me alive. That would be no quality of life at all, If that ever happens, just pull the plug.'









So she got up, unplugged the computer, and threw out my wine.

She's such a bitch.
Sat, 01/12/2008 - 7:42 AM Permalink
mrmnmikey

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the

Director, "How do you determine whether or not a patient should be

institutionalized."

"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer

a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to

empty the bathtub."

"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use

the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."

"No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug.

Do you want a bed near the window?"
Sun, 01/13/2008 - 6:56 PM Permalink
Redbear

Peanut is my favorite.

Dunham used to do a bit where he'd have Walter, Peanut and Jose all at once, and Jose would be Peanut's dummy...so he'd have a dummy doing ventriliquism!
Mon, 01/14/2008 - 8:15 AM Permalink
ares

<-- wonders if mikey knows this from experience.

<-- changes mind. doesn't really want to know.
Fri, 01/18/2008 - 9:40 PM Permalink
jREST

Electile Dysfunction : The inability to become aroused over any of the choices for president put forth by either party in the 2008 election year.
Fri, 01/25/2008 - 12:53 PM Permalink