We're going to start some counseling next month (it's hard to get in) Plus were going to a weekend retreat in October that's developed especially for young families who lost a parent.
I'm sure it will too. I think I'm going to use today as a time to finally erase the voice mail messages that I have on my cell and home phones. I have them taped and on the computer anyway but just have a hard time letting them go. But after talking with her aunt today, who's also still having a rough time with it, I have a different feeling about things now. I have grief books in my bathroom magazine racks where I used to have Rolling Stone and Disc Golf magazines. Which kinda forces me to read them even if I'm not in THAT mood. Which ends up getting me in THAT mood. It's nice to have all of that at my disposal when I need it but I need to try and move along without forcing myself into some place I don't necessarily need to be. It's affecting my health.
I'm truly glad you are thinking of doing things that will help you in a way that will also help keep you healthy. Ali needs you and the rest of us care deeply for you too.
i'm so sorry to hear that ur having such a rough time with this. cant even imagine what its like. the closest ive had is an old BF killed on a motorcycle while we were still sorta dating.
we didnt share that much. nor did everything i have touch remind me of him. i just boxed his stuff up and put it in the back of my closet. i have tapes of his messages to me on my old answering machine still. tho i dont think ive listened to them in 10 years.
do occasionally think of him n go pull his sweatshirt out and put it on and sit there with it on for a while n talk to him. i still go to his grave on his bday n bring flowers.
but i cant imagine what it would have been like to lose him after fallingin love & being with him for years n years. hugs
Thanks Vino. I still haven't been able to sleep on her side of the bed yet. Even though I have the whole huge king size to myself.
I should rotate the thing so I can get more mileage out of the blankets and sheets.
It's good that you still have things from your BF. I think people still need that stuff even if you don't visit it as often. Just knowing it's there is nice. Kinda like the books I was referring to earlier.
Thanks gals. I think the timing of the song along with the recent weather and responsibilities at home and at work are just getting to me. I know I'm a (semi) decent outgoing guy but I feel like I don't have a grip on myself or anything around me. It comes in spurts as you know. I'm very weather sensitive so that isn't helping either. I think that's why I like the hunt so much - it reminds me of cooler times instead of all the hot humid crap. I'll always take cold over hot any day.
I admit things cant get much more stressful than yesterday in my life.... I don't usually like to talk about it so something that makes me feel better is to go out driving.... I stopped at a gas station and this older man behind me in line was singing.... over and over --he would sing the words "everyone gets the blues sometimes"
I asked him what he was singing, hoping he would tell me the singer or the song but he smiled at me and just sang out the same words over again. He bought a lottery ticket and I wished him luck. I found it incredibly ironic ---I smiled as I walked out.
There will be lots of events, songs, whatever that will make you sad, but that's ok. You're allowed to feel sad or cry whenever you please.
I think about when Ted died. His funeral was a couple of days before Valentine's Day. We always made a big deal about Valentine's Day because one of the sons had a birthday then and we'd combine both celebrations.
We decided we'd send his Valentine's Day cards with him. We went together to Hallmark and cried the whole time we were picking out our cards. I'm sure the other customers were wondering what the heck was going on. But now it's kind of a bitter sweet memory. All of us picking out cards and sharing our grief in that way too. We can even laugh at ourselves about it.
We went together to Hallmark and cried the whole time we were picking out our cards...All of us picking out cards and sharing our grief in that way too.
What a beautiful memory - thank you for sharing that, OT. And hugs to you, too!
Want to add something here. I didn't mention it before because I'm kind of a private person. But I was at St. Joseph's Hospital last Friday evening. I was having chest pains and went up to my pharmacy to buy baby aspirin and they took my blood pressure and it was 195/120. Yikes! The pharmacist told me to call someone and go in right away.
Anyway, I'm ok. EKG, blood work, Xray were all normal and my blood pressure went down eventually. But, the reason for this post is to point out the bond people who have lost a spouse share.
The nurse who took care of me noticed I was a widow and asked how long? She was widowed two years ago. We talked for a long time about how we cope and ended up hugging. It's just something no one else can understand until they've been there.
I know there will be these times but I also know that the firsts of certain memories will be the roughest. especially the special songs.
I can semi-prepare myself for tonight but it's those times when I hear those songs on the radio for the first time that smack me on my ass. Especially because you don't know when it's going to happen. After tonight I can think of only one more Big song that I haven't heard on the radio yet. But I also know there's plenty of those smaller ones that will trigger memories too, so I'll have to get used to that happening for some time.
As you might know, my boss lost his young wife a few years ago and he's been a pretty stable person to talk to about the whole thing. He's always very level-headed and has seemed to grasp his emotions to where he's moving on. Even up to dating and such. But today he came in and looked like he had an emotionally rough ride to work. I asked him what was up and he mentioned that there was a certain song on the radio coupled with the memory of their family always going to the first day of the fair that put him in that dark place. This was the first real time I seen him show anything in front of me since Amy died. As sad as I felt for him, it also opened my eyes that this never really ends even though he didn't show much before. You just get better at containing the emotions and releasing them when it's more convenient and satisfying.
it also opened my eyes that this never really ends even though he didn't show much before. You just get better at containing the emotions and releasing them when it's more convenient and satisfying.
There is also a bar below this message text box that if you click on the quote marks symbol thingy, it will bring up a text box for you to copy/paste or type into. I've found it doesn't always take all the text, though, if its in more than one paragraph I think is when it drops all but the last paragraph. Just another way to do it.
CM, I think the part about it never goes away is true, but I've found that things feel more integrated the more time goes on. The grief and loss become part of the total experience of my life, and there is some distance between all the traumatic feelings and what my life is now. I'm not saying this the way I'd like to - can't seem to find quite the right words.
This past Sunday was the four-year sadiversary and four years ago today was the funeral, so this is a somber week, but not taking *too* bad a toll this year. There is some sadness, some surrealness, and some feeling like my grief is outside the windows of my house, if that makes any sense. Not like its trying to get in - just that it is still there, but a bit more distant.
Sometimes the pain comes back with a sting. I guess I got to a point somewhere that I started listening to books on CD in the car instead of constantly letting myself get zinged by what is played on the radio, or sometimes disappointed by what is NOT played. I still turn on the Delilah show sometimes when I'm in the mood, so its not a total avoidance, nor is it a bad thing to let the songs sting as they will, or be taken as a sign.
My great-niece was only six years old when her Uncle George (Da Yooper) died. She was very close to him, and took it very, very hard. She told her mom, "I was listening to a CD and one song really reminded me of Uncle George and it made my cry. I played it over and over." Her mom asked her why she kept playing it, if it made her cry. She replied, "because sometimes three minutes isn't long enough to cry".
I especially like hearing the songs that were "our songs" - we had many. But its even better when something else happens simultaneously, like hearing one of those songs and seeing an eagle at the same time, or just something to kind of "confirm" that he's listening too.
Does anyone mind if I move the last few posts to the sad thread? I'd like to keep all this great info in there as a resource for anyone who might need it.
Sorry for all the sadness. Hugs to all of you. They say time heals - and it does - but that time can seem oh so very long sometimes.
OT - so glad you are okay. Times like that are scary.
My Mom had something they called a TIA about a month ago. They described it as sort of a minor silent stroke. Scared the bejeebers out of me. They kept her for two days at United and then sent her home. Everything is fine now and today we had the checkup for her eyes following that episode. (The TIA caused double vision for about 60-90 minutes.) There was no damage done so for that we're happy.
They put her on Plavix to prevent any further episodes. So far so good.
I so glad to hear that your alright OT! Sounds like you did the right thing with the asprin. Always get checked out if your having chest pains!
to point out the bond people who have lost a spouse share
I don't know about the widow/widower thing, but death in general of a close loved one.
I've lost 2 younger brothers, both parents, and a grandparent in a short amount of time and can understand pretty well what people go through.
Hang in there CM.
I also went to another funeral for another freind of mine that just lost his wife just before I went on vacation. The funeral was in Duluth and we were close so we were able to make it even though we were on vacation.
I'm not sure if I ever shared this story, but about a month or so ago I thought I had one of those episodes. My left eye was really blurry when I woke up. I thought it might get better but it didn't. I even looked to see if the pupil was a different size than the other. So I went up to get dressed and was going to get it checked out. I walk into my bedroom and see something on the floor. It was the left lens from my glasses! Now how stupid would I have felt if I had gone in and said something was wrong with my left eye. Ha!
That's a continuing internal fight I ask myself all the time. On one hand I would think she'd want me to take care of Ali and enjoy our lives together. Much like last night. But then I get this guilty feeling that how can I enjoy anything without her or thinking about her not being here with me/us.
It might seem that I'm all gloom and doom in this thread because that's what it's for but I'm mostly just numb all the time and not really one side or the other. That's where I feel as if I've lost part of my own identity since I've never been an even keeled person. I was usually a pretty positive upbeat person but I feel as if it's a struggle to be that guy again. Although, I am optimistic that things will change from where they are mainly because I can see my current personality and want to make that change for the better. But as far as Amy goes, I feel as if I'm coddled and kicked all at the same time.
You will feel what you feel, regardless of what you think Amy would want. Losing a spouse is like losing 2/3 of yourself - you've lost HER, you've lost the "US" as a couple - and you are doing well at this point if you are just getting through the days, sometimes moment by moment. And having said that, SHE is always near, you may even feel her presence sometimes. And your relationship - although it exists with each of you on two separate "worlds", is still intact. Love never dies. Its all very confusing, to have lost someone, but yet not.
Most people report feeling like they are forever changed - they are no longer themselves. I was sometimes shocked to look in the mirrow - it seemed like a stranger there, early on.
In time, maybe a year or so, I started to see a look in my eye that I recognized, or something in my smile that looked more like the old me. Still, this whole experience has changed so many things about me - in those ways the old me won't be back, at least the way I was.
I believe, without a doubt, that my departed husband both understands all I am going through, and has compassion for me, but he is also somewhat protected from totally feeling what I feel, if that makes sense. Still, I vascillated between feeling like I should and I shouldn't feel or think a certain way, and finally came to the realization that while I am still on this side of the sod, I will feel what I feel, and try to do my best to keep facing forward, and when I am able, moving forward.
SHE is always near, you may even feel her presence sometimes
I just hope no one secretly tapes me when I'm all alone since they would probably find what might look like a lunatic by all the talking into thin air that I do. :chagrin: :eyeroll:
One thing I keep wondering is if I'm going to end up subconsciously pushing myself to be who I was before I met her instead of who I was with her. That would be pretty scary as I pretty much attribute my life to her since I don't think I'd be here now if it wasn't for her. I always told her that and she kind of knew it too since I was on a road to personal destruction until she helped steer me otherwise.
Oh yeah, the stuff we do when we're alone...that is the personal side of grieving that no one - and I mean no one else sees.
I think the difference between who you were before Amy, who you were with Amy, and who you are going to be in the years to come will be be part of that "integration" I've described. It is the sorting everything out, then taking it back within yourself and eventually it feels like it is ALL part of what makes you YOU. You will also have the influence of Ali in your life - when we aren't able to do things for ourselves, we can do them for our dear loved ones. I know I've clung dearly to "trusting in the process" of grieving and healing, and also I've found hope for the future in being able to be here for my sons, and someday, grandchildren.
I recall the day when my younger son needed my help. Although he was grown - 25 years old - I realized that I was the only one who could have helped him that day! It helped me to understand that my purpose here will go on. By the end of the intense grief period, we can not only define the word "survive", we have lived it.
We're going to start some counseling next month (it's hard to get in) Plus were going to a weekend retreat in October that's developed especially for young families who lost a parent.
i'm so sorry to hear that ur having such a rough time with this. cant even imagine what its like. the closest ive had is an old BF killed on a motorcycle while we were still sorta dating.
we didnt share that much. nor did everything i have touch remind me of him. i just boxed his stuff up and put it in the back of my closet. i have tapes of his messages to me on my old answering machine still. tho i dont think ive listened to them in 10 years.
do occasionally think of him n go pull his sweatshirt out and put it on and sit there with it on for a while n talk to him. i still go to his grave on his bday n bring flowers.
but i cant imagine what it would have been like to lose him after fallingin love & being with him for years n years. hugs
I should rotate the thing so I can get more mileage out of the blankets and sheets.
It's good that you still have things from your BF. I think people still need that stuff even if you don't visit it as often. Just knowing it's there is nice. Kinda like the books I was referring to earlier.
Pure Prairie League Lyrics
Amie Lyrics
I can see why you think you belong to me
I never tried to make you think, or let you see one thing for yourself
But now your off with someone else and I'm alone
You see I thought that I might keep you for my own
Amie what you wanna do?
I think I could stay with you
For a while, maybe longer if I do
Don't you think the time is right for us to find
All the things we thought weren't proper could be right in time
And can you see
Which way we should turn together or alone
I can never see whats right or what is wrong
(will it take to long to see)
Amie what you wanna do?
I think I could stay with you
For a while, maybe longer if I do
[Acoustic solo]
Well now
Amie what you wanna do?
I think I could stay with you
For a while, maybe longer if I do
Now it's come to what you want you've had your way
And all the things you thought before just faded into gray
And can you see
That I don't know if it's you or if it's me
If it's one of us I'm sure we'll both will see
Won't you look at me and tell me
Amie what you wanna do?
I think I could stay with you
For a while, maybe longer
Longer if I do
Yeah now
Amie what you wanna do?
I think I could stay with you
For a while, maybe longer if I do
Fallin' in and out of love with you
Fallin' in and out of love with you
Don't know what I'm gonna do, I'd keep
Fallin' in and out of love
With you
Sometimes I feel like damaged goods :eyeroll: :frown:
John Klass - When Things Seem So Wrong Lyrics
<marquee direction="up" scrollamount="2" width="300">
When things Seem So Wrong
By John Klass
When youÂ’re in doubt
Trying to keep all fears out
The tears you hide
YouÂ’ll only cry inside
It isnÂ’t easy to accept
You think all hope is gone
But it really hasnÂ’t left
Chorus
YouÂ’ve got to hang on
Just pick up the pieces
And look right ahead
DonÂ’t give up cause instead
Things arenÂ’t so wrong
When the road ahead
Seems so uncertain
And all you do
Seems to crumble & fall
(Repeat * &**)
Troubles, theyÂ’ll come and go
ThoÂ’ the memÂ’ries will last
If you stay right on hurtinÂ’
Time will still pass
(Repeat Chorus**)
</marquee>
More John Klass Lyrics...
oh well..i'm leaving it...
hope things are looking better for you today
weather still sucks
I admit things cant get much more stressful than yesterday in my life.... I don't usually like to talk about it so something that makes me feel better is to go out driving.... I stopped at a gas station and this older man behind me in line was singing.... over and over --he would sing the words "everyone gets the blues sometimes"
I asked him what he was singing, hoping he would tell me the singer or the song but he smiled at me and just sang out the same words over again. He bought a lottery ticket and I wished him luck. I found it incredibly ironic ---I smiled as I walked out.
sounds kind of angelic, to me.
Title: The Blues Sometimes
Album: Pipe Dream
There's a man in his limousine
With a chaffeur and the girl of his dreams
He's not lonely, he enjoys good wine
Yet he gets the blues sometimes
And the woman who's got all it takes
Brains, style and charm
Motivated, she's got mountains to climb
Yet she gets the blues sometimes
Everyone gets the blues sometimes
It's a part of life for every woman and man
There's no answer, there's no reason, no rhyme
Why we get the blues sometimes
Theres no answer, there's no reason, no rhyme
Why I get the blues sometimes
Stress sucks! :angry:
I found myself today
Oh, I found myself and ran away
But something pulled me back
A voice of reason, I forgot I had
All I know is you're not here to say
What you always used to say
But itÂ’s written in the sky tonight
[Chorus:]
So I wonÂ’t give up
No, I wonÂ’t break down
Sooner than it seems life turns around
And I will be strong
Even if it all goes wrong
When IÂ’m standing in the dark IÂ’ll still believe
SomeoneÂ’s watching over me
IÂ’ve seen that ray of light
And itÂ’s shining on my destiny
Shining all the time
And I wonÂ’t be afraid
To follow everywhere itÂ’s taking me
All I know is yesterday is gone
And right now I belong
To this moment, to my dreams
[Chorus]
It doesnÂ’t matter what people say
And it doesnÂ’t matter how long it takes
Believe in yourself
And youÂ’ll fly high
And it only matters how true you are
Be true to yourself and follow your heart
So I wonÂ’t give up
No I wonÂ’t break down
Sooner than it seems life turns around
And I will be strong
Even if it all goes wrong
When IÂ’m standing in the dark IÂ’ll still believe...
That I wonÂ’t give up
No I wonÂ’t break down
Sooner than it seems life turns around
And I will be strong
Even when it all goes wrong
When IÂ’m standing in the dark IÂ’ll still believe...
That someoneÂ’s watching over,
Someone's watching over,
Someone's watching over me
(Yeah yeah, oh oh...)
Someone's watching over me
I'm already preparing myself mentally - similar to Wish You Were Here - but more meaning for both Ali and I
It's her first concert tonight and I want things to be perfect for her and her best friend. It should be a pretty fun time.
Video
Concert Info
I think about when Ted died. His funeral was a couple of days before Valentine's Day. We always made a big deal about Valentine's Day because one of the sons had a birthday then and we'd combine both celebrations.
We decided we'd send his Valentine's Day cards with him. We went together to Hallmark and cried the whole time we were picking out our cards. I'm sure the other customers were wondering what the heck was going on. But now it's kind of a bitter sweet memory. All of us picking out cards and sharing our grief in that way too. We can even laugh at ourselves about it.
Hang in there CM. ((((Brad & Ali)))
What a beautiful memory - thank you for sharing that, OT. And hugs to you, too!
Want to add something here. I didn't mention it before because I'm kind of a private person. But I was at St. Joseph's Hospital last Friday evening. I was having chest pains and went up to my pharmacy to buy baby aspirin and they took my blood pressure and it was 195/120. Yikes! The pharmacist told me to call someone and go in right away.
Anyway, I'm ok. EKG, blood work, Xray were all normal and my blood pressure went down eventually. But, the reason for this post is to point out the bond people who have lost a spouse share.
The nurse who took care of me noticed I was a widow and asked how long? She was widowed two years ago. We talked for a long time about how we cope and ended up hugging. It's just something no one else can understand until they've been there.
So your post reminded me of that.
I know there will be these times but I also know that the firsts of certain memories will be the roughest. especially the special songs.
I can semi-prepare myself for tonight but it's those times when I hear those songs on the radio for the first time that smack me on my ass. Especially because you don't know when it's going to happen. After tonight I can think of only one more Big song that I haven't heard on the radio yet. But I also know there's plenty of those smaller ones that will trigger memories too, so I'll have to get used to that happening for some time.
As you might know, my boss lost his young wife a few years ago and he's been a pretty stable person to talk to about the whole thing. He's always very level-headed and has seemed to grasp his emotions to where he's moving on. Even up to dating and such. But today he came in and looked like he had an emotionally rough ride to work. I asked him what was up and he mentioned that there was a certain song on the radio coupled with the memory of their family always going to the first day of the fair that put him in that dark place. This was the first real time I seen him show anything in front of me since Amy died. As sad as I felt for him, it also opened my eyes that this never really ends even though he didn't show much before. You just get better at containing the emotions and releasing them when it's more convenient and satisfying.
It's just something no one else can understand until they've been there.
Sadly, that's very true :frown:
Well said, CM.
So how do you get the quote in italics?
you'll have lots of smiling and laughter tonight - ..... it will be perfect
At the beginning of a line, type a lower case i then a space before the text you want in italics.
You can do the same by typing a lower case b if you want something in bold print
CM, I think the part about it never goes away is true, but I've found that things feel more integrated the more time goes on. The grief and loss become part of the total experience of my life, and there is some distance between all the traumatic feelings and what my life is now. I'm not saying this the way I'd like to - can't seem to find quite the right words.
This past Sunday was the four-year sadiversary and four years ago today was the funeral, so this is a somber week, but not taking *too* bad a toll this year. There is some sadness, some surrealness, and some feeling like my grief is outside the windows of my house, if that makes any sense. Not like its trying to get in - just that it is still there, but a bit more distant.
Sometimes the pain comes back with a sting. I guess I got to a point somewhere that I started listening to books on CD in the car instead of constantly letting myself get zinged by what is played on the radio, or sometimes disappointed by what is NOT played. I still turn on the Delilah show sometimes when I'm in the mood, so its not a total avoidance, nor is it a bad thing to let the songs sting as they will, or be taken as a sign.
My great-niece was only six years old when her Uncle George (Da Yooper) died. She was very close to him, and took it very, very hard. She told her mom, "I was listening to a CD and one song really reminded me of Uncle George and it made my cry. I played it over and over." Her mom asked her why she kept playing it, if it made her cry. She replied, "because sometimes three minutes isn't long enough to cry".
I especially like hearing the songs that were "our songs" - we had many. But its even better when something else happens simultaneously, like hearing one of those songs and seeing an eagle at the same time, or just something to kind of "confirm" that he's listening too.
I knew something was up with you D.
::Big Hugs 2 U::
OT - so glad you are okay. Times like that are scary.
My Mom had something they called a TIA about a month ago. They described it as sort of a minor silent stroke. Scared the bejeebers out of me. They kept her for two days at United and then sent her home. Everything is fine now and today we had the checkup for her eyes following that episode. (The TIA caused double vision for about 60-90 minutes.) There was no damage done so for that we're happy.
They put her on Plavix to prevent any further episodes. So far so good.
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See Screen Shot Below
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to point out the bond people who have lost a spouse share
I don't know about the widow/widower thing, but death in general of a close loved one.
I've lost 2 younger brothers, both parents, and a grandparent in a short amount of time and can understand pretty well what people go through.
Hang in there CM.
I also went to another funeral for another freind of mine that just lost his wife just before I went on vacation. The funeral was in Duluth and we were close so we were able to make it even though we were on vacation.
I'm not sure if I ever shared this story, but about a month or so ago I thought I had one of those episodes. My left eye was really blurry when I woke up. I thought it might get better but it didn't. I even looked to see if the pupil was a different size than the other. So I went up to get dressed and was going to get it checked out. I walk into my bedroom and see something on the floor. It was the left lens from my glasses! Now how stupid would I have felt if I had gone in and said something was wrong with my left eye. Ha!
Just curious: What would Amy say about your continued sadness? what would she say to you if she could still communicate with you?
That's a continuing internal fight I ask myself all the time. On one hand I would think she'd want me to take care of Ali and enjoy our lives together. Much like last night. But then I get this guilty feeling that how can I enjoy anything without her or thinking about her not being here with me/us.
It might seem that I'm all gloom and doom in this thread because that's what it's for but I'm mostly just numb all the time and not really one side or the other. That's where I feel as if I've lost part of my own identity since I've never been an even keeled person. I was usually a pretty positive upbeat person but I feel as if it's a struggle to be that guy again. Although, I am optimistic that things will change from where they are mainly because I can see my current personality and want to make that change for the better. But as far as Amy goes, I feel as if I'm coddled and kicked all at the same time.
You will feel what you feel, regardless of what you think Amy would want. Losing a spouse is like losing 2/3 of yourself - you've lost HER, you've lost the "US" as a couple - and you are doing well at this point if you are just getting through the days, sometimes moment by moment. And having said that, SHE is always near, you may even feel her presence sometimes. And your relationship - although it exists with each of you on two separate "worlds", is still intact. Love never dies. Its all very confusing, to have lost someone, but yet not.
Most people report feeling like they are forever changed - they are no longer themselves. I was sometimes shocked to look in the mirrow - it seemed like a stranger there, early on.
In time, maybe a year or so, I started to see a look in my eye that I recognized, or something in my smile that looked more like the old me. Still, this whole experience has changed so many things about me - in those ways the old me won't be back, at least the way I was.
I believe, without a doubt, that my departed husband both understands all I am going through, and has compassion for me, but he is also somewhat protected from totally feeling what I feel, if that makes sense. Still, I vascillated between feeling like I should and I shouldn't feel or think a certain way, and finally came to the realization that while I am still on this side of the sod, I will feel what I feel, and try to do my best to keep facing forward, and when I am able, moving forward.
Hugs to us all, eh?
I just hope no one secretly tapes me when I'm all alone since they would probably find what might look like a lunatic by all the talking into thin air that I do. :chagrin: :eyeroll:
One thing I keep wondering is if I'm going to end up subconsciously pushing myself to be who I was before I met her instead of who I was with her. That would be pretty scary as I pretty much attribute my life to her since I don't think I'd be here now if it wasn't for her. I always told her that and she kind of knew it too since I was on a road to personal destruction until she helped steer me otherwise.
I think the difference between who you were before Amy, who you were with Amy, and who you are going to be in the years to come will be be part of that "integration" I've described. It is the sorting everything out, then taking it back within yourself and eventually it feels like it is ALL part of what makes you YOU. You will also have the influence of Ali in your life - when we aren't able to do things for ourselves, we can do them for our dear loved ones. I know I've clung dearly to "trusting in the process" of grieving and healing, and also I've found hope for the future in being able to be here for my sons, and someday, grandchildren.
I recall the day when my younger son needed my help. Although he was grown - 25 years old - I realized that I was the only one who could have helped him that day! It helped me to understand that my purpose here will go on. By the end of the intense grief period, we can not only define the word "survive", we have lived it.