The Royal Order of the 21sters, who believe that winter is over because spring begins when the days start getting longer around Christmas, point to Super Bowl Sunday as practically the Fourth of July. By Sunday, it will be light out at 6 p.m., maybe a little longer.
Even normal people must be feeling some relief. The afternoon rush hour can now be accomplished in daylight, however rheumy, and that means that you can see the hazards that have been ripping the cars apart, potholes and ice ridges and so on. With daylight now again upon us, I can adjust my route and abandon the circuitous itinerary that I have been using in order to avoid a complete disassembly of the automobile, bolt by bolt.
Yes, it was somewhat dispiriting to learn that Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow Tuesday at Gobbler’s Knob in Pennsylvania, predicting another six weeks of winter, but I have never put much stock in a groundhog being able to predict anything, much less the fortunes of nature. Besides, for the town of Punxsutawney, the ground hog celebration is their winter carnival, with buttons and societies and clubs of the kind we are accustomed to with our great Winter Carnival.
Speaking of which, it is time that you believe me when I insist that I do not write the clues for the Treasure Hunt. Because I have had fun criticizing them over the years, it somehow got presumed that I wrote them, and I do not. I never have. I never will. I will take a lie detector test.
Checking phone messages after being out of town last week, I received a call from a fellow named Doug who — quite politely, I was pleased to note — asked me to steer the hunters away from the newly planted hillside between Mounds Park and Vento Park. It was his belief that important environmental restoration was threatened and that it was quite obvious that “my” 10th clue was going to steer the hunters in that direction.
“Help us out,” Doug said.
The 10th clue read as follows:
Oh, never mind. It was an impossibly long clue — they are getting longer compared to the old days — and there is no need to reprint it now. The treasure was found last week and nowhere near Mounds Park or Vento Park.
I returned Doug’s call but got only an answering machine, and I left with him the same plea I make now. Believe me when I say that I don’t write the clues. It is a fun treasure hunt, one of the most successful events of the carnival, and part of the mystery is that we don’t really know who does write the clues. Once upon a time it was probably Paul Light or Oliver Towne who wrote the clues, reminding us that once upon a time columnists were assigned names that were not their own. Paul Light. Get it? Oliver Towne. They were Roy Dunlap and Gareth Hiebert, respectively, and they each would have been creative enough to find a spot, hide the medallion in the dead of a December night and then write the clues that used to follow the simple rules of even simpler rhyming.
I think where I got into a jam was complaining, a couple of years ago, that the clues have become impossibly obtuse, theatrical, overcooked. That clue No. 10 that Doug wished to credit to me took 23 lines. 23! As the newspaper shrinks, the clues expand, but so does the excitement for the hunt, which I intend no harm and cheer mightily.
Doors close. We’re closing the door that says I write the clues, and all future salutations and huzzahs and complaints must be given to the unknown author.
Joe Soucheray can be reached at jsoucheray@pioneerpress.com or 651-228-5474. Soucheray is heard from 2 to 5:30 p.m. weekdays on KSTP-AM 1500.
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