Real Medallion Heros

Mud Light presents Real Medallion Heroes
(Real Medallion Heroes)

Today we salute you, Mr. Amateur Medallion Hunter Guy.
(Mr. Amateur Medallion Hunter Guy)
After a night of drinking with the buddies, it didn't occur to you that a coat would be a good idea.
(Your mother wouldn't be happy)
Armed with only your shoes to kick snow and a plastic spork from wendys you dare to dream.
(What is a registered button?)
If it weren't for you Mr. Amateur Medallion Hunter Guy, no one would ever find that elusive medallion.
(Certainly not the cooler crew)
So crack open an ice cold Mud Light, Mr. Amateur Medallion Hunter, because the more you drink, the less annoying the frostbite is.
(Ouch ouch ouch ouch, ouch it burns)

Mud Light presents Real Medallion Heroes
(Real Medallion Heroes)

Today we salute you, Mr. Annoying Flashy Headlamp Guys.
(Mr. Annoying Flashy Headlamp Guys)
More than any neon sign or exploding scoreboard ever could, your blinkys says "hey guys, look at me".
(Its not intimidating)
Even if the temperature is roasting hot 90 degrees you'd keep covered like a Ninja in a sauna.
(your scarves are all slimy inside)
You get out of a mini-van like cheesy bank robbers and stand in line by yourselves without saying a word to anybody.
(Even Jake doesn't bite)
So crack open an ice cold Mud Light for the Mr. we are too ugly to show our faces, then crack open another for them since they won't even show their face for a sip.
(Have one for them)

Mud Light presents: Real Medallion Heroes
(Real Medallion Heroes)

Today we salute you, Mr. Jelly Donut Medallion Stuffer.
(Mr. Jelly Donut Medallion Stuffer)
Many a night you pondered the question "How can i get some jelly and a medallion shoved into a plain powdered donut's blowhole?"
(In the blowhole!)
Inspiration, and perspiration, led you to invent the answer: The jelly squirter will create enough lubricant.
(Super squirter!)
Late at night, all night, you worked your squirter so that we could wake up satisfied and enjoy our breakfast jelly with a medallion inside treat.
(Work Work Work Work Work your squirter!)
So crack open an ice cold Mud Light Mr. Jelly Doughnut Medallion Stuffer, nobody else takes it to the hole quite the way you do.
(Mr. Jelly Doughnut Medallion Stuffer!)

Mud Light presents Real Medallion Heroes
(Real Medallion Heroes)
 

Today we salute you, Mr. Lobby Security Guy.
(Mr. Lobby Security Guy)
For weeks upon weeks you have trouble staying awake. But for 12 days you inspire us to greatness.
(Thanks for letting us in)
Just because you don't have a gun we still respect you. You don't kick us out of the building after getting a paper.
(Do you know the clue writer?)
While you act like you couldn't care less about our treasure hunt, I know deep down inside...... you don't
(It's just a medallion)
So crack open an ice cold Mud Light, oh tzar of the lobby and continue to keep that lobby safe other 353 days of the year.
(Enjoy your naps)

Mud Light presents Real Medallion Heroes
(Real Medallion Heroes)

Today we salute you, Mr. Medallion Hunt Clue Writer Guy.
(Mr. Medallion Hunt Clue Writer Guy)
Thanks to you, we are forced to do the unthinkable in the middle of winter: Dig in a park at 2am.
(Picking up diapers)
But you, sir, give us bad clues.
(Como Como Como)
Armed with your pen, you create rhymes, pray for bad weather, and the occasional anagram. And why do you do it? Because somewhere some guy is hoping for a chance to find a plastic puck in a park.
(No chance in hell)
So crack open an ice cold Mud Light oh crafty wordsmith of the Great North, and know that when America is looking for a man to get the job done, you do confuse us.
(You do own us)