In answer to your State Fair Question. My Dad would come home with TWO bags full of stuff he would get stuff and then make my mom go get stuff to so he could give it away. He had an enormous collection of pens and pencils that by the time you wanted to use a pen it had sat for so long it didn't work and he'd get peeved. I however on the other hand would go thinking ok he always comes home with lots of stuff and I want to get a couple things I could never find ANYTHING I might find a pencil or two and a paper fan. He always got loads of good stuff. I never did ask him where he found it all.
As a kid, every year I went to the State Fair I'd to buy one colored rabbit's foot from those corner vendors as a souvenir. I stopped at about ten because my dresser drawer where I kept them started smelling funky.
Nick I agree they are no where to be found I think it's a conspiracy to keep you at the fair longer than you want to be just walking around looking for a yard stick.
If it ain't in the Grandstand - you don't need it. If it IS in the Grandstand, you probably don't need it either - but it's really COOL.
One of our MUST HAVES as a kid was the "Fantastic Floatables" in the Grandstand - those Helium Mylar Balloons with the paper stickers on them to weight them down - once you peeled off enough stickers and got the right balance, the could 'hover' around the house a few feet off the ground for a couple weeks. Darn near gave Mom a heart attack when she woke up and the balloon was hovering right in front of her face.
only the square walking sticks, I think. They might be $3. They are engineered backwards, though, so if you use it as a walking stick (it's intended purpose), you wear off the "0" end....then it's not so accurate for measuring. I tell them that every year but they don't change the design :eyeroll:
My name is Right Shoe. I am a right shoe - Skechers circa 2003. I lost my "sole" mate on Saturday in Otay Mesa. His name was Left Shoe.
You see, my owner, Left Shoe, and I were skydiving together, and as the chute opened, Left Shoe, my partner of 5 years, went flying away. I knew this would happen... I tried to tell my owner to tie us better, but he just wouldn't listen. (My owner has been learning how to speak Shoe... but talking to him is mostly like talking to a brick wall)
Left Shoe and I have been inseparable these past few years, ever since we got identical Made In China tattoos. It's like we were made for each other; we were even the same size & color, and we enjoyed the same activities. We traveled everywhere together, and we were even planning on going to Japan together in September.
Some people say Left Shoe jumped on purpose. Sure, we weren't in our prime anymore; Left Shoe especially got a lot of comments about being tattered and over the hill. But I know Left Shoe and he wouldn't do that to me. It was a bad day for Left Shoe because in the morning he stepped in gum, and then later he stepped in an unknown substance on the port-a-potty floor. But he was fine, and was excited to go skydiving. Left Shoe was resilient like that.
I really miss Left Shoe. I've come to terms with the fact that I may never see him again. But I really just want to know what happened to Left Shoe... Did he land in a lake? or did the winds carry him out to sea? or did he leave a little crater somewhere from the impact? or maybe he burned up on re-entry in a blazing fireball of glory.
If you know anything about what happened to Left Shoe, please contact me. I know I can't hope that Left Shoe is still alive, but I just want to know what became of Left Shoe...
I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.
--Alfred Lord Tennyson
All my thoughts & prayers,
Right Shoe
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Ole and Sven die in a snowmobiling accident, drunker than skunks, and go to Hell.
The Devil observes that they are really enjoying themselves.
He says to them 'Doesn't the heat and smoke bother you?
Ole replies, 'Vell, ya know, ve're from nordern Minnesooota, da land of snow an ice, an ve're yust happy fer a chance ta varm up a little bit, ya know.'
The devil decides that these two aren't miserable enough and turns up the heat even more. When he returns to the room of the two guys from Minnesota , the devil finds them in light jackets and hats, grilling Walleye and drinking beer.
The devil is astonished and exclaims, 'Everyone down here is in abject misery, and you two seem to be enjoying yourselves?'
Sven replies, 'Vell, ya know, ve don't git too much varm veather up dere at da Falls, so ve've yust got ta haff a fish fry vhen da veather's dis nice.'
The devil is absolutely furious. He can hardly see straight. Finally he comes up with the answer. The two guys love the heat because they have been cold all their lives. The devil decides to turn all the heat off in Hell. The next morning, the temperature is 60 below zero, icicles are hanging everywhere, and people are shivering so bad that they are unable to wail, moan or gnash their teeth. The devil smiles and heads for the room with Ole and Sven. He gets there and finds them back in their parkas, bomber hats, and mittens. They are jumping up and down, cheering, yelling and screaming like mad men.
The devil is dumbfounded, 'I don't understand, when I turn up the heat you're happy. Now its freezing cold and you're still happy. What is wrong with you two?'
They both look at the devil in surprise and say, 'Vell, don't ya know, if hell iss froze over, dat must mean da Vikings von da Super Bowl.'
If you bought $1000 of stock a year ago, you would now have:
$91.28 if you bought Washington Mutual
$37.50 if you bought Neomagic
$21.29 if you bought Freddie Mac
$20.79 if you bought Fannie Mae
But, if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for the recycling REFUND... You would have $... 114.00 in cash.
So the best investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle.
2 women went out for a couple of drinks one night which turned into many. Very intoxicated,they walked home but really had to go to the bathroom, so they ducked into a cemetery. With no toilet paper or kleenex the first woman decided to just use her under ware. The second decided hers was too expensive so instead found a wreath with a ribbon that she could use. They both arrived home and passed out.
The next morning husband one was upset. His wife has never stayed out so late and drank so much before. He called husband two. "We have got to do something! Our wives should not go out drinking again, my wife came home last night with no under ware!"
Husband two said "that's nothing! my wife came home with a note stuck to her ass that said We will never forget you - the men of station 49!". :sillygrin:
If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
If Mike, Dave and Jo hn go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.
EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and Jo hn will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel .
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
Televangelists are proof - Hell DOES exist!
Question of the Day:
The phone company offers a hundred add-on services. How about a phone meter to show us how much money we're wasting?
and anybody who you see carrying them, always seems to not know where they got it...
One of our MUST HAVES as a kid was the "Fantastic Floatables" in the Grandstand - those Helium Mylar Balloons with the paper stickers on them to weight them down - once you peeled off enough stickers and got the right balance, the could 'hover' around the house a few feet off the ground for a couple weeks. Darn near gave Mom a heart attack when she woke up and the balloon was hovering right in front of her face.
Looking for my SOLE-mate
Date: 2008-08-24, 8:19AM PDT
My name is Right Shoe. I am a right shoe - Skechers circa 2003. I lost my "sole" mate on Saturday in Otay Mesa. His name was Left Shoe.
You see, my owner, Left Shoe, and I were skydiving together, and as the chute opened, Left Shoe, my partner of 5 years, went flying away. I knew this would happen... I tried to tell my owner to tie us better, but he just wouldn't listen. (My owner has been learning how to speak Shoe... but talking to him is mostly like talking to a brick wall)
Left Shoe and I have been inseparable these past few years, ever since we got identical Made In China tattoos. It's like we were made for each other; we were even the same size & color, and we enjoyed the same activities. We traveled everywhere together, and we were even planning on going to Japan together in September.
Some people say Left Shoe jumped on purpose. Sure, we weren't in our prime anymore; Left Shoe especially got a lot of comments about being tattered and over the hill. But I know Left Shoe and he wouldn't do that to me. It was a bad day for Left Shoe because in the morning he stepped in gum, and then later he stepped in an unknown substance on the port-a-potty floor. But he was fine, and was excited to go skydiving. Left Shoe was resilient like that.
I really miss Left Shoe. I've come to terms with the fact that I may never see him again. But I really just want to know what happened to Left Shoe... Did he land in a lake? or did the winds carry him out to sea? or did he leave a little crater somewhere from the impact? or maybe he burned up on re-entry in a blazing fireball of glory.
If you know anything about what happened to Left Shoe, please contact me. I know I can't hope that Left Shoe is still alive, but I just want to know what became of Left Shoe...
I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.
--Alfred Lord Tennyson
All my thoughts & prayers,
Right Shoe
PostingID: 810581297
Reality is whatever the media says it is (and you WILL like it).
Question of the Day:
What do starving children think about all the fruits and vegetables we use on our hair shampoo?
you're sooo smart
Boxers are extra-driven to succeed. -- If you don't succeed, you get the snot beat out of you.
Question of the Day:
Why do principals suspend children? Shouldn't we give them MORE school?
White House Joe
He used the patch!
yep it was about as fun as the cartoon said!!!
What be the letter of the alphabet be the pirate's most favorite?
"R" Arrrrrrrrr!
What be the pirates second-most favorite letter of them all?
"I" Aye! That be the second!
What be the riddle worse than the two above?
-- Arrrrrrr; that would be NONE sir!
-- Aye! There'd be none worse than those above....
Good pitching makes for boring baseball.
Question of the Day:
Why do we click the 'Start' button to turn the computer off? Why not just call it "The Switch"?
You have to climb pretty high into the hills to masturbate in peace.
Question of the Day:
How is there an Ears, Nose, AND Throat specialist? Shouldn't they have to choose one to BE a specialist?
The great people in history have one thing in common: They were all abnormal.
Question of the Day:
What does "new and improved" say about the old product?
Preparation H costs $10 per tube. Talk about taking it up the...
Question of the Day:
If you catch your son with an S&M magazine, do you spank him?
The Devil observes that they are really enjoying themselves.
He says to them 'Doesn't the heat and smoke bother you?
Ole replies, 'Vell, ya know, ve're from nordern Minnesooota, da land of snow an ice, an ve're yust happy fer a chance ta varm up a little bit, ya know.'
The devil decides that these two aren't miserable enough and turns up the heat even more. When he returns to the room of the two guys from Minnesota , the devil finds them in light jackets and hats, grilling Walleye and drinking beer.
The devil is astonished and exclaims, 'Everyone down here is in abject misery, and you two seem to be enjoying yourselves?'
Sven replies, 'Vell, ya know, ve don't git too much varm veather up dere at da Falls, so ve've yust got ta haff a fish fry vhen da veather's dis nice.'
The devil is absolutely furious. He can hardly see straight. Finally he comes up with the answer. The two guys love the heat because they have been cold all their lives. The devil decides to turn all the heat off in Hell. The next morning, the temperature is 60 below zero, icicles are hanging everywhere, and people are shivering so bad that they are unable to wail, moan or gnash their teeth. The devil smiles and heads for the room with Ole and Sven. He gets there and finds them back in their parkas, bomber hats, and mittens. They are jumping up and down, cheering, yelling and screaming like mad men.
The devil is dumbfounded, 'I don't understand, when I turn up the heat you're happy. Now its freezing cold and you're still happy. What is wrong with you two?'
They both look at the devil in surprise and say, 'Vell, don't ya know, if hell iss froze over, dat must mean da Vikings von da Super Bowl.'
Don't make promises that you can't keep after a few beers...
After a few beers, don't make promises...
Question of the Day:
When your palm itches, it means you're supposed to get money...
What does it mean when your butt itches?
My cup used to runneth over, but then my dad smacked me for spilling.
Question of the Day:
Do we call Washington D.C. "capital" because it's run like a bank?
$91.28 if you bought Washington Mutual
$37.50 if you bought Neomagic
$21.29 if you bought Freddie Mac
$20.79 if you bought Fannie Mae
But, if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for the recycling REFUND... You would have $... 114.00 in cash.
So the best investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle.
It's called the 401-Keg Plan
Democrats are gas, Republicans are brakes, and everyone else is just a bump in the road.
Question of the Day:
Does our money read "In God We Trust" because it doesn't have any worldly backing?
Hooker or not: Women have a thousand ways to charge for sex.
Question of the Day:
Do Koreans take their dogs on woks? (Think about that one)
A different take on the joke
If you had purchased $1,000.00 of Delta Air Lines stock one year ago, you
would have $49.00 left. With Enron, you would have had $16.50 left of the
original $1,000.00. With WorldCom, you would have had less than $5.00 left.
But if you had purchased $1,000.00 worth of beer one year ago, drank all of
the beer, then turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling REFUND, you
would have $214.00 in cash.
Based on the above, the best current investment
advice is to drink heavily and recycle. It's called the 401-Keg. A recent
study found that the average American walks about 900 miles a year. Another
study found Americans drink, on the average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year.
That means, on average, Americans get about 41 miles to the gallon. Makes
You Proud To Be An American!
A woman didn't come home one night. The next morning she told her
husband that she had slept over at a friend's house. The man called his
wife's 10 best friends. NONE of them knew anything about it.
Friendship among Men:
A man didn't come home one night. The next morning he told his wife that
he had slept over at a friend's house. The woman called her husband's 10
best friends.
Eight confirmed that he had slept over, and two said he was still there.
The next morning husband one was upset. His wife has never stayed out so late and drank so much before. He called husband two. "We have got to do something! Our wives should not go out drinking again, my wife came home last night with no under ware!"
Husband two said "that's nothing! my wife came home with a note stuck to her ass that said We will never forget you - the men of station 49!". :sillygrin:
There's a reason that Buddha and Jesus were so peaceful: They didn't have children!
Question of the Day:
At weddings, do we call them "grooms" because that's the one day they actually bathe?
NICKNAMES
If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
If Mike, Dave and Jo hn go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.
EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and Jo hn will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel .
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
Remember,
If you haven't got a smile on your face
And laughter in your heart,
Then you are just a sour old fart!