I was very fortunate in that I adored my father and the feeling was mutual. I've just recently started reading the letters my father wrote to my mother during the year before their wedding. So sweet.
Regarding when is the right time to let go of things. DON'T be like me. I have a rented storage place that I pay monthly rent on where I've stored stuff that I can't part with yet. :chagrin: Not just things from my marriage, but also things from when my children were growing up. Sometimes I wish there'd just be a big fire down at Bester Storage and it would all go up in smoke. :neutral:
I have boxes of stuff from when my kids were in school. If they would settle in somewhere more permanently, I would give them those boxes and let them sort through and keep the things they want.
Brian would likely toss most of his stuff. Brenda would definately hang on to the odd stuff - and then want to store it here! LOL!!
I'll tell you it is a nice surprise when your mom does finally give you that stuff she's saved for you for 40 years. Pretty cool feeling. I gave her all my hotwheels to sell once and she gave me the money I got from them. Only to find out 30 years later that she was holding on to them all along. I still play with them, only this time it's with Ali. :cool:
(((((( Terry)))))) My dad is the same way tell this day is now remarried!! and no other kids!! thank god for that with this wife!!! he isnt dry at all His Dr. acutely told him to have 2 beers a day because with his deibeats his blood suger goes so far off they can get it right!! he is losesing his vision and has lost half of one foot and is going in late Dec. if they cant get the other one fixed to get it cut off!! I haven't talked to my dad much in years!! I maybe see him once a year! and thats it! I just don't care there is a empty spot in my heart there for him!! I really dont feel any thing towards him!! and it hurts because I know I am sopse to love him but cant!! He has told me as long as I can rember that I was a accident and not sopse to be The Irony of it all is if you look at when I was born and how they use to hunt out of a tent you can see it is true!! my mom and brothers have told me the same thing almost all my life!! and now it is going on again because I was out of work for so long!!
But here you go look this up I was born Aug of 1979 and if you look at the year befores weather for Nov. witch is when I would have been consevd it was one hell of a cold winter and nov. is hunting season!! so figer it out not to mention the fact that all my brothers there is 3 years between them and me there is 6 between me and my next oldest!!! ??? makes someone feel good then they wonder why I like the psyc ward!! so much???? I do love it there!! the meds. and the people are so kool and nice!!! arts and crafts time is my FAV.!!!!! :cool: :cool:
Along with a whole den and part of the garage of stuff that's hers! She is in grad school out in San Diego. She moved out of her apartment here, dumped most of the stuff here and took off. I'll be glad when she gets back and is done with school. She figures 3 years yet. :eek:
I do know this - keep hanging around with the Cooler Crew and you will find a lot of the love and support that you missed growing up. Not the same as getting it from mom or dad, but its good to find it SOMEWHERE.
I pray we ALL find the love and nurturing we need to have a joyful life on this earth!
Thats Why I had so much fun at our kick off party Wish you could have been there!! I loved ever min. of it!! and every time I say another person come in I got happier and happier!!! and I was getting gifts form everyone that went the world to me and they where all so thoughtful some where VARY personal like the autograph from the one and only Clue Master him self I am using as a book mark!!! and after that I am getting it framed!! so when He is famoise other then Been Cooler then me in the cooler crew I will say See I know that dude He is kool S#@t!! and a good friend of mine!!! then he is gone to hire me as his body guard and full time member of his posse!!! lol!!! :cool: :cool: :cool:
Seriously, it's true. Either you can be screwed up and blame other people, or you can be yourself, and move past it & celebrate the wonderfulness that's uniquely you.
I do think there is a place for realizing where you came from, especially if a person has had emotional difficulties.
It is a difficult thing to be told negative things by a parent, or to feel unwanted, abandoned, neglected.
But that information is only a stepping stone to realizing that all that is about THEM, it is THEIR LOSS in ways they can never re-do. And yes, it is our loss too, but one we can try to compensate for as we move forward, by making healthy adaptive choices about how we will cope with life and emotions and relationships.
And understanding one's past is a stepping stone to learning to tap into whatever wisdom and compassion we have inside and learn to give that wisdom and compassion to that bewildered little child who is still inside there too. That will also spill over into our relationships, breaking a legacy that was probably passed down through the previous generations, but it stops with our conscious decision to stop it from being passed down to OUR children.
totally. I spent most of my childhood trying to please my mother, to only realize as an adult that she didn't really want me. She found out she was prego with me 2 weeks after my dad died. (who she was going to divorce anyways)
I was the golden child tho for my gran, as her only son, had died, and here was this extension of him. I think my mom not only resented me cause she had to take care of me, but also my gran cause she wanted to be so involved with my life.
looking back (as an adult) I prolly would have faired much better, had my mother just dumped me off with my grandmother, rather than play the role as martyer.
As an adult with 20/20 hindsight. I realize that my mom has a lot of mental health issues. I don't blame her, but I also don't excuse her.
I just move past it, and do what is right for me. I also try to learn from the past - and when situations occur, I try to think how she would handle something - then think... is this REALLY how normal people would hand this? no? hmm - look elsewhere for guidance.
Prolly the biggest personal insult anyone can say to me is "you are just like your mother" <- those are fighting words.
I'm glad it's finally making the news of how fast this is spreading. I read up on it tons after she got it from a catheter while in the hospital. That's the main reason why I hate hospitals. You have a much higher chance on getting something else while you're in there. I firmly believe that Amy would be alive today had they moved her to a short term care facility when she was up and moving around. Once she got the VRE there was no turning back. :frown:
I've been watching that on the news. Bad stuff. I didn't know that was what Amy had. They said on the news it may end up killing more people in the US than aids. Scary thought.
That is a scary thought Mikey. I didn't know that was what Amy had either.
I have been reading up on that because...
One of my nephews is HIV positive and we are worried about him because of that, obviously. He also works in a hospital so is likely exposed to that superbug as well. :frown:
I had no idea that is what caused her death either. It's a terrible infection. But you can't beat yourself up wondering what if this or what if that. You just don't know if it would have made a difference. I've done that myself and it just drags you down.
One of my daughter's friends developed flesh eating disease as a result of contacting MRSA. She's had a large chunk of her calf cut out because of it. They think she may have contacted the staph at her gym. So its not just confined to hospitals.
I agree OT but it is hard when looking back at what you could have done and when. But I just have to keep telling myself that we did what we thought was best with what we knew at the time.
CM - That's a healthy attitude to take. Hindsight is sometimes 20/20, but you have to go with what seems right with the information you have at the time.
And we don't know either what would have happened had we chosen or decided differently either.
this is what my cousnt is dieing from!! it hurts me so bad I am so down and I am on call the next 5 days!! so if any thing hapens I am screwed this sucks!! i just feel like shit!!
Cholangiocarcinoma.
To learn more on this type of cancer, Click this link:
I sure could relate, and recall feeling that way, especially the first year, so was hoping it would help others know they are not alone in feeling that way.
they put my dads gravemarker/plate in sometime this week.... this time with the correct spelling....
was going to take a picture to post here, but all my cameras seemed to go dead right when I was about to take it.....
It rained/snowed all day today, ruining what was supposed to be a fun night - we were going to have one of Carolyns workers and her boyfriend over here for a bonfire and some grilling tonight after work... but the weather kinda put a halt on that...
raincheck?
shhhhhyyeeeahhh....
ugh... I dunno.. whatever...
and if that isnt all bad enough already, if ya missed it in the irritates thread - Carolyns workplace - Pizza Magic is in trouble of closing down, possibly...
if we had beer in the house right now, I think we'd both be having a bottle or 3
Yea the holidays can really take a toll on ya sometimes.
That crying at the drop of a hat will last a long time CM. It just gets longer inbetween is all.
Glad to hear they finally got the marker thing right Nick. Sorry to hear about the pizza shop.
I've been pretty bummed out this last weekend too. I didn't get the job I was hoping for. I'm trying not to think about it but its hard not to. Just gotta keep looking forward.
Well, I cried the entire hour I was in the dental hygienist's chair.
The hygienist heard about my recent loss of Frodo, and gave me a big hug when I arrived. And, as I was hanging up my coat, BAM, I was crying and knew it was going to have to run its course.
But I do feel better, like someone opened a steam vent, although now I am way tired.
At the finest level of my being, you're still with me. We still look at each other, at that level beyond sight. We talk and laugh with each othr, in a place beyond words and expressions. We still touch each other, on a level beyond touch. We share time together in a place, where time stands still. We are still together, on a level called Eternal Love.
But I cry alone for you, in a place called reality.
I was very fortunate in that I adored my father and the feeling was mutual. I've just recently started reading the letters my father wrote to my mother during the year before their wedding. So sweet.
Regarding when is the right time to let go of things. DON'T be like me. I have a rented storage place that I pay monthly rent on where I've stored stuff that I can't part with yet. :chagrin: Not just things from my marriage, but also things from when my children were growing up. Sometimes I wish there'd just be a big fire down at Bester Storage and it would all go up in smoke. :neutral:
Brian would likely toss most of his stuff. Brenda would definately hang on to the odd stuff - and then want to store it here! LOL!!
hahaha yup
hotwheels are cool
But here you go look this up I was born Aug of 1979 and if you look at the year befores weather for Nov. witch is when I would have been consevd it was one hell of a cold winter and nov. is hunting season!! so figer it out not to mention the fact that all my brothers there is 3 years between them and me there is 6 between me and my next oldest!!! ??? makes someone feel good then they wonder why I like the psyc ward!! so much???? I do love it there!! the meds. and the people are so kool and nice!!! arts and crafts time is my FAV.!!!!! :cool: :cool:
I pray we ALL find the love and nurturing we need to have a joyful life on this earth!
 :grin:
I was talking to someone yesterday about the devil (aka my mother) and how I had never met my dad and after I finished, I realized.
I could have been way more screwed up than I am.
And then, I decided to be happy about that. :pbpt:
WOW!!! Great insight, and a hopeful thought for all of us! Thanks, L4V.
:smile: :grin:
It is a difficult thing to be told negative things by a parent, or to feel unwanted, abandoned, neglected.
But that information is only a stepping stone to realizing that all that is about THEM, it is THEIR LOSS in ways they can never re-do. And yes, it is our loss too, but one we can try to compensate for as we move forward, by making healthy adaptive choices about how we will cope with life and emotions and relationships.
And understanding one's past is a stepping stone to learning to tap into whatever wisdom and compassion we have inside and learn to give that wisdom and compassion to that bewildered little child who is still inside there too. That will also spill over into our relationships, breaking a legacy that was probably passed down through the previous generations, but it stops with our conscious decision to stop it from being passed down to OUR children.
I was the golden child tho for my gran, as her only son, had died, and here was this extension of him. I think my mom not only resented me cause she had to take care of me, but also my gran cause she wanted to be so involved with my life.
looking back (as an adult) I prolly would have faired much better, had my mother just dumped me off with my grandmother, rather than play the role as martyer.
As an adult with 20/20 hindsight. I realize that my mom has a lot of mental health issues. I don't blame her, but I also don't excuse her.
I just move past it, and do what is right for me. I also try to learn from the past - and when situations occur, I try to think how she would handle something - then think... is this REALLY how normal people would hand this? no? hmm - look elsewhere for guidance.
Prolly the biggest personal insult anyone can say to me is "you are just like your mother" <- those are fighting words.
glad to give you your tag line diggin!
I'm glad it's finally making the news of how fast this is spreading. I read up on it tons after she got it from a catheter while in the hospital. That's the main reason why I hate hospitals. You have a much higher chance on getting something else while you're in there. I firmly believe that Amy would be alive today had they moved her to a short term care facility when she was up and moving around. Once she got the VRE there was no turning back. :frown:
Facts about VRE & MRSA
I have been reading up on that because...
One of my nephews is HIV positive and we are worried about him because of that, obviously. He also works in a hospital so is likely exposed to that superbug as well. :frown:
One of my daughter's friends developed flesh eating disease as a result of contacting MRSA. She's had a large chunk of her calf cut out because of it. They think she may have contacted the staph at her gym. So its not just confined to hospitals.
And we don't know either what would have happened had we chosen or decided differently either.
The outcome will always be the same but could be much worse arriving there as well.
Cholangiocarcinoma.
To learn more on this type of cancer, Click this link:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cholangiocarcinoma :crying: :crying:
http://www.webhealing.com/articles/xmas.html
I've done this other times before but today just feels different
I'm greatful to the internet
I dont know even why Im posting this ... its just been a hard day for me to get through I guess
((hugs for anyone else having a rough day))
No idea why, just hard is all. I bawl at a drop of a fricken hat for some reason.
I THOUGHT I WAS THROUGH THIS SHIT DAMNIT!!! :angry: :coolfrown:
WTF?!? :sad:
I stopped at the graveyard today...
they put my dads gravemarker/plate in sometime this week.... this time with the correct spelling....
was going to take a picture to post here, but all my cameras seemed to go dead right when I was about to take it.....
It rained/snowed all day today, ruining what was supposed to be a fun night - we were going to have one of Carolyns workers and her boyfriend over here for a bonfire and some grilling tonight after work... but the weather kinda put a halt on that...
raincheck?
shhhhhyyeeeahhh....
ugh... I dunno.. whatever...
and if that isnt all bad enough already, if ya missed it in the irritates thread - Carolyns workplace - Pizza Magic is in trouble of closing down, possibly...
if we had beer in the house right now, I think we'd both be having a bottle or 3
Hang in there bud - I have beer and it's actually making things a bit worse as far as that shit goes :confused:
especially true through the holidaze
we're all gonna need lots of cyberhugs and real hugs in the weeks to come
(((((All of us)))))
That crying at the drop of a hat will last a long time CM. It just gets longer inbetween is all.
Glad to hear they finally got the marker thing right Nick. Sorry to hear about the pizza shop.
I've been pretty bummed out this last weekend too. I didn't get the job I was hoping for. I'm trying not to think about it but its hard not to. Just gotta keep looking forward.
The hygienist heard about my recent loss of Frodo, and gave me a big hug when I arrived. And, as I was hanging up my coat, BAM, I was crying and knew it was going to have to run its course.
But I do feel better, like someone opened a steam vent, although now I am way tired.
At the finest level of my being, you're still with me. We still look at each other, at that level beyond sight. We talk and laugh with each othr, in a place beyond words and expressions. We still touch each other, on a level beyond touch. We share time together in a place, where time stands still. We are still together, on a level called Eternal Love.
But I cry alone for you, in a place called reality.
Richard Lepinsky