Where we can expound on everything from global warming -- or the supposed lack thereof -- to, possibly, complaints about why it's looking more and more like a bad choice to have married a mean-tempered gal who weighs three hundred pounds and wears a medal she won in the war.
perception of objects with no reality usually arising from disorder of the nervous system or in response to drugs (as LSD)
Here's something I've been wondering about:
Why do people lean against walls?
Heck, if I'm not sleeping, or eating pork products prone, you'll generally find me leaning against a wall.
Or a car, or a fence, or something.
Granted, I'm uncommonly lazy, but leaning really isn't a big help.
It doesn't actually take much of a "load off".
I figure I could pretty well stand up straight, with three-four feet of open air around me, and not require an ambulance.
Still, I lean.
Funny.
It's just one of those things I think about when I'm not thinking about something else.
You know?
Dang LIBERALS!
The Dennis and jethro show is on the air !
Dennis:
The reason you are prone to leaning is due to the spin of the earth. After a while you get tired of standing upright against the centripetal forces exerted on your body and you will lean against a wall to relieve the pressure. The direction of the lean is dependent on the political affiliation of the subject...in your case you would tend to lean left a majority of the time.
Centripetal forces pull toward the axis, centrifugal forces move away from the axis.
I was saying that gravity pulls down on you and makes you tired. We lean to rest because it is not socially acceptable to lie down on the sidewalk. Centrifugal force does not exist, but they make centrifugal pumps. I always thought that was kind of special myself.
MONDAY MORNING MUSINGS
How 'bout those Israelis?!
Geez, some Palestinian blows up one Israeli's aunt, then Jerusalem retaliates by shooting some Arab's uncle, and that guy's nephew shows up in a Jewish cafe with a bomb strapped to his belly and, after the debris stops falling from the sky, Israeli helicopters retaliate by gunning down The Latest Instant Martyrs of the Day.
No wonder there's a growing movement by pacifistic Israeli reservists to simply quit being a part of the vicious, stupid cycle.
And what's with all this tough talk of killing Arafat?
Now, Yasir may be the ugliest guy to ever have put on pants (thank God for that!), but he's nowhere near as militant or intractable as darned near anyone who'd fill the power vacuum left by his departure.
You know what I really fear?
It seems the Bush administration is cozying up to Israel at exactly the time Sharon is getting really bellicose.
I see a situation, a few weeks or months down the line, where Israel and the U.S. will launch a joint war against an amorphous group of "terrorists" and "rogues" that will absolutely set the Middle East on fire.
Because, say what you will, there is an essential justness to the causes of everyone from the PLO to Iraq and Iran in connection with what's already been done to them by the
Washington-Jerusalem "axis".
Their joint policy has been too one-sidedly harsh, and patently dismissive of Arab and Islamic grievances.
Diplomacy and even-handedness are what's called for, not a massive escalation of regional violence.
And there definitely needs to be an independent Palestinian state.
Naz, you're welcome to join us here but, you gotta do something about that avatar.
The direction of the lean is dependent on the political affiliation of the subject...in your case you would tend to lean left a majority of the time.
thanks for the chuckle...I needed it.
Speaking of chuckles and hallucination...
There's this guy I run into every once in awhile who's always got something interesting to say.
Thing is, he's not saying it to me, or to anyone.
Just to himself, or to someone he alone sees.
Today he goes:
"You can't have my girlfriend. You can have ten of your own, or twenty. But you can't have mine."
Maybe we are just hallucinations and the guy is talking to someone real. Hmmmm. Maybe it was just the processed chese I ate.
Better?
much better, naz. of course we didn't have a problem telling you the avatar needed to change considering you once wrote that you were offended by it too :)
Hey thats my dad!
Yeah, ares, it actually lasted longer than I expected. Of course, that's why I put it up over the weekend. I would have changed it earlier today, but since I work second shift, I don't really get moving until about 10 AM, and today I woke up late with a very sore back, so I almost forgot to long on and check it until after noon.
By the way, thanks to everyone who set me straight on leaning, and centrifugal and centripical force.
Which I now see are entirely different than "centipedal farce", which is a skinny bug scurrying across the kitchen floor wearing one hundred pairs of teensy Nikes.
LOL! Dennis,you really do crack me up!
Naz...
The thing about your previous avatar that I wondered about:
Were either of the two figures depicted YOU?
I'm really not that troubled by kinky women.
But lizards that can pitch woo and type kinda scare me.
No, Dennis. I have no idea who the woman OR the iguana were. I just got that picture of the Web. The old guy in my current picture, though, IS me.
Looking good, Naz
Naz.....so whats the story? How did your glasses get cracked?
Dennis! I had no idea about your taste in women!LOL!
Wealthy conservatives are always self-interestedly telling me I should get ahead in life by furthering my education rather than partaking in a fierce revolt by the freako-devo-pervo-weirdo-pinko international conspiracy that would expropriate their properties in the Catskills and turn them into summer camps for inner-city poor kids...so I've decided to go to college!
I'll be specializing in courses particularly germane to the
deep complexity, and moral imperatives, of contemporary American culture:
Sponge Bobology 101.
An Introduction to Hip Hop (A Primer for Whitebread Fools).
Barry Manilow: What's He Got That You Don't?
The Rise and Fall of the Enron Empire.
How to Bomb Innocent Civilians by "Accident".
I'm excited.
(Do hot co-eds still go for older guys?!)
Now that's the Dennis we know and love.
Is this not an oxymoron?
<
<Common Sense Conservative
Is this not an oxymoron?>>
Not really. You're just not aware that "Conservative" can be used with adjectives other than "Flying Monkey Right Wing Wacko Extremist Hard-Line Mean-Spirited Fundamentalist Polluting."
You forgot "greedy capitalist pig sexist racist corrupt compromised hypocritical disingenuous crybaby..."
Tell us how you really feel...
Greedy: Greed is good -- most members of Congress are millionaires.
Capitalist: It's what makes this country great!
Pig: Pigs are intelligent. If given a choice, they are very clean. And they may be our best hope for organ transplants, because internally they are very much like humans.
Sexist: Like the National Organization for Women?
Racist: Like the NAACP and the Human Rights Commission?
Corrupt: Every human being is corrupt by the age of 5.
Compromised: Isn't that what the liberals are always calling for?
Hypocritical: Like the liberals blaming GW for the recession that started seven months before he took office?
Disingenuous: I haven't noticed any conservatives biting their lips and saying they feel my pain.
Crybaby: Ya got me there!
(BTW, I'm a libertarian and I'll defend some liberals against conservatives too.)
:^)
Disingenuous: I haven't noticed any conservatives biting their lips and saying they feel my pain.
Speaking of lips, how 'bout "Read my lips, no new taxes"?
I haven't noticed any conservatives biting their lips and saying they feel my pain.
If they bit their lips, wouldn't they feel their own pain?
Oooh, Muskwa. You really got me there. I heard it was possible to take somebody's words out of context and prove that there is more than one definition and interpretation for some of them. I guess it's true. I got a secret for ya: some people can understand groups of words. They're called "phrases" and "sentences." Let's try one "hypocritical disingenuous crybaby"--what all the conservatives I have heard whining about how unfair and unwarranted and totally baseless ANY hint of impropriety or scandal connecting the White House and the Enron debacle, even though several members of Bush's cabinet have either worked for Enron, lobbied for them, or were CHOSEN by them, are--the same conservatives that worried the bone of Whitewater and tried (unsuccessfully) for 10 years to prove that Bill and/or Hillary Clinton participated in illegal activity WRT said Whitewater, and saw no conflict or questionable motives in expanding the tituar "Whitewater" investigation by the Independent Counsel into several totally unrelated areas pertaining to Paula Jones and Monica Lewinsky (many of whom, as it turns out, were also participation in equally or more immoral sexual liasons themselves.)
I love the internet !
the message I got: on Feb 10, Arthur....p... in an instant message said:
u fagot
Here's what I found at www.m-w.com:
Main Entry: 1fag·ot
Variant(s): or fag·got /'fa-g&t/
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English fagot, from Middle French
Date: 14th century
: BUNDLE: as a : a bundle of sticks b : a bundle of pieces of wrought iron to be shaped by rolling or hammering at high temperature
so I promptly informed TOSgeneral as to the meaning of "fagot"
So, you can't call somebody a bundle of sticks on AOL? Is this on AIM or what?
yes, it was...my 15 year old son... and I have no idea who the other party was
So, did one person like, WARN the other person or complain or something, or did Big Brother just come crashing in the door and slap everybody around?
my guess is that the other party copied the IM and sent it to Terms of Service
OK. That's lame enough, but at least it's not as if their conversation was being monitored.
Dear Member,
I need to let you know that America Online received the following report regarding a Terms of Service violation via instant message to another member. Here is the information I have placed on the account regarding this incident:
On Feb 10 2002 10:22PM EST the arthur....p... screen name sent an instant message to another Member of America Online. The following is an excerpt from the instant message: " arthur....p...: u fagot "
Our Terms of Service agreement, which was presented during the sign up process, allows America Online to be informative, entertaining and, above all, fun for all of our Members. You can review that agreement by using keyword TOS. This area also has information and tools you can use to help protect your account. Also, you may want to take a look at our PARENTAL CONTROLS. This will allow you, among other things, to limit and/or block specific screen names from various online activities.
Thanks for taking the time to read this letter. Please note, this screen name cannot accept replies. Therefore, if you have any comments or questions please send mail to TOSGeneral.
Regards,
CATRep423
Community Action Team
America Online, Inc.
That's amazing. Has the weasel who ratted out had his ass kicked yet?
My son doesn't know about it yet...he's in school until 2:30
j/k
Could be he mean to say "you forgot." Kids these days, their English ain't so good being.
snerk
In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
People call at 9 P.M. and ask, "Did I wake you?"
You can eat dinner at 4:00 PM.
You can get into a heated argument about pension plans.
You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.
You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks in the room.
You sing along with the elevator music.
Your joints are more accurate than the National Weather Service.
Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them
either.
Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.
or did Big Brother just come crashing in the door and slap everybody around?
There needs to be more crashing and slapping around on "Big Brother"
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
On a Sear's hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Fritos: .. You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details in side. (the shoplifter special)?
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how???....)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought????...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time)?
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and...I'm taking this because???....)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what)?
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (Oh my God...was there a lot of this happening somewhere ?)
Oh my God...was there a lot of this happening somewhere ?
if it hadn't happened, they wouldn't have to warn against doing it!
Wealthy conservatives are always self-interestedly telling me I should get ahead in life by furthering my education rather than partaking in a fierce revolt by the freako-devo-pervo-weirdo-pinko international conspiracy that would expropriate their properties in the Catskills and turn them into summer camps for inner-city poor kids...so I've decided to go to college!
OMG I love it....DENNIS rocks
Artemis....they should give the new big brother crew a 6 headed hookah with say some maybe indica or some kind bud...the show would rock....i mean hey they let em have booze on the last go 'round...
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (Oh my God...was there a lot of this happening somewhere ?)
I neede a kleenex to wipe away the tears from laughing
So let me get this straight. I buy my kid a Superman costume and he can't fly in it?
Crap! There go my plans for the weekend.