go head make MY DAY!!! I am in a good mood and nothing you can say would bug me!! and you should know that I can take it unlike some people I know!! joke or not?!?!?
I used to work for a penile implant manufacturer. Interesting work.
When my son Mags, then 15 years old heard where I was going to work, he said, "Is that like, 'Help! It's fallen! And I can't get it up!'?"
We had to write patient information brochures. The FDA was concerned that patients would not know the meaning of the word penis, so they asked us to come up with a word understandable at a sixth-grade reading level. Now, that was a fun meeting. We put had every euphemism imaginable up on the white board. We were laughing so hard that the they could hear us in some of the far reaches of the building.
One thing I learned working there was to be careful of the distinction between hard and difficult. My friend used to say, when distinguishing between "done" and "finished", that cakes get done, people get finished. I applied that to hard and difficult:
"Tasks may be difficult. Penises may be hard".
Do you know the joke about the guy who had a baby elephant trunk implanted after an accident rendered his penis non-functional?
A man is having trouble getting it up again, when his fiance suggests that he see a specialist. She tells him there's no way she'll marry him unless he does something about his erectile disfunction.
The man agrees, and sees one of the most respected doctors in the field, who says that he is the perfect candidate for a new treatment that has been getting rave reviews in Europe. "We take the trunk muscle from a baby elephant," said the doctor, "and implant it directly into the base of your penis. It works really well, and doesn't hurt the elephant at all."
Upon hearing that it is an outpatient procedure, he agrees to undergo the surgery the next week.
All goes well, and three weeks later, feels ready to try it out. He and his fiance go to dinner at a very nice, expensive restaurant in order to make the evening as romantic as possible. Halfway through dinner, his penis reaches up, grabs a roll, and disappears back under the table.
His fiance is amazed, and says "My god, honey, that was incredible! Can you do it again?"
He replies, "Probably, but I don't think I can fit another bun up my butt."
what's scary is that in most work situations you'd have to worry about sexual harassment for all the euphemisms. makes me wodner if anyone was offended :smile:
When we went through diversity training, we discussed "at length" the fact that it would be difficult to work in that environment without some joking and laughing. We talked about the need to always be sensitive to the patients' situations, and yet, when we talked in that meeting about how bizarre it was that someone might not know what the word penis means, when they've been having trouble with theirs, it was just ludicrous. So we were tossing the words out there, keeping in mind who might be offended if we *didn't* call it a penis. Finally, we asked that we be allowed to use the word penis in the patient education brochures. I believe we were allowed to do this, provided we defined it in the glossary.
We were kind of wondering if anyone would have trouble with the meaning of the word glossary...
The pumps sounds like a last resort..but I guess sometimes you have to take matters in your own hands...maybe it'll replace viagra....nice to work for an up-and-coming product. Still, selling that kind of a device day in and day out can be hard on a guy...and do they accept customer returns?!?!
Kat, thanks for the bonfire last night! It was good to see you and your family, and some Cooler friends (and to get to know Mad D and wifey a little better)...good times :smile:
I went into Yahoo a couple days ago for the football picks - no problems there - but then I went into a couple Yahoo sites that contain slide shows - like the "25 best Sci-Fi Movies of all Time" and stuff like that - about 50% of the photos never worked in the slide shows, and they were all laggy as hell.
Thanks for having us over to toast some marshmallows, Kat! I actually liked having a small group around the fire - it kind of limits how many conversations are going on all at once. My parents's bonfire last weekend was chaotic! Becks - did you give Ice a ride home evetually?
Glad who all made it could last night! I had fun. It was nice to be able to introduce my husband to some of the gang.. He said to me afterwards I now realize why you like to hang out with them! :smile:
Lil'Man sorry we missed you - I swear Becksie and Ice were just pulling out of the driveway when you called... how far away were you?
In a neighboring township of my parents, one of the county commissioners would go into the bar across the street from the township polling place and buy drinks for whomever voted. Supposed to not campaign within 100-150 feet of voting, so it was a marginal interpretation of the rule at best, no to mention borderline bribery...
does he get free samples?
and WHERE in the twin cities is this factory?
remember that old gig, I'm hans and he's frans and we're here to pump you up?
I think that was there names. anything that implies he actually goes out to their customers houses and does the pumping is good.
or hobbies :sheepish:
When my son Mags, then 15 years old heard where I was going to work, he said, "Is that like, 'Help! It's fallen! And I can't get it up!'?"
We had to write patient information brochures. The FDA was concerned that patients would not know the meaning of the word penis, so they asked us to come up with a word understandable at a sixth-grade reading level. Now, that was a fun meeting. We put had every euphemism imaginable up on the white board. We were laughing so hard that the they could hear us in some of the far reaches of the building.
One thing I learned working there was to be careful of the distinction between hard and difficult. My friend used to say, when distinguishing between "done" and "finished", that cakes get done, people get finished. I applied that to hard and difficult:
"Tasks may be difficult. Penises may be hard".
Do you know the joke about the guy who had a baby elephant trunk implanted after an accident rendered his penis non-functional?
I'll find that joke and post it in a bit.
The man agrees, and sees one of the most respected doctors in the field, who says that he is the perfect candidate for a new treatment that has been getting rave reviews in Europe. "We take the trunk muscle from a baby elephant," said the doctor, "and implant it directly into the base of your penis. It works really well, and doesn't hurt the elephant at all."
Upon hearing that it is an outpatient procedure, he agrees to undergo the surgery the next week.
All goes well, and three weeks later, feels ready to try it out. He and his fiance go to dinner at a very nice, expensive restaurant in order to make the evening as romantic as possible. Halfway through dinner, his penis reaches up, grabs a roll, and disappears back under the table.
His fiance is amazed, and says "My god, honey, that was incredible! Can you do it again?"
He replies, "Probably, but I don't think I can fit another bun up my butt."
Anther thought would be if someone accidentally installed the pump backwards -- I'm still shuddering so someone else please find a punchline...
Which one is Kat's house?
We were kind of wondering if anyone would have trouble with the meaning of the word glossary...
what did the glossary say?
I use yahoo e-mail and it is painfully slow the past couple of days.
I've tried clearing the cache, cookies, and all that good stuff, and no improvement.
Any thoughts about what else I might try?
Thanks!!
Kind of gives the notion of a door to door vacuum salesman a whole different twist.
Does he feel deflated after work?
The company must have a real growth stock.
Does he ever feel like he's getting dicked over at work?
Is the company a subsidiary of Johnson and Johnson?
Does that make him a working stiff?
I hope they're not too hard on him there.
Is it a hands on kind of job?
Did the guy he's replacing peter out?
Perhaps now he can put "Campaign Manager" on his resume since he helps make big dicks popular with the public.
Slim Dunlap, The Snaps, and Romantica also played... REALLY damn good show!
got the voice-mail, couldnt tell who was saying what.... didnt even know the number, from where it came.... so im "guessing" that was you guys....
was only 2 hours ago.... as its like 1:00 now....
is it still worth coming over? Im only 5-10 mins away...
Thanks for having us over to toast some marshmallows, Kat! I actually liked having a small group around the fire - it kind of limits how many conversations are going on all at once. My parents's bonfire last weekend was chaotic! Becks - did you give Ice a ride home evetually?
Lil'Man sorry we missed you - I swear Becksie and Ice were just pulling out of the driveway when you called... how far away were you?
Until the next gathering or hunt!!
who called us?
sorry I missed it too.
Sunday evening
September 14
6:30 PM
Carbone's Pizzeria - West St. Paul
If people post and let me know they are coming, I will let Carbone's know so we don't run that nice waitress ragged again!
They'd like a rough headcount by 11AM Saturday, so if you plan to join us, please post the number from your party, by that time.
I'm re-posting this here in this main thread.
If you've already responded on the Eags thread, I've got you on the list!
You've still got 3 hours left! Vote for Howard Orenstein for Judge if you live in Ramsey County!
My voting area is 6 blocks away. :pbpt: