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An Untitled Poem

Submitted by leelabell on

It's that time of the year, my friend
For slogging, and reading, and quickly refreshing
Should I run spell check before I hit send?
1000 messages behind; oh, how depressing

Laughing at and analyzing the wit of the crew
Posted by notables like Scribe and Me2
Allison believes that he'll get it right
But the Medallionators say the puck's in their sight

I ignore Mr. News and giggle at Violent J
I dig out the maps and put the homework away
What you ask? What is the reason?
You silly fool, it's medallion hunting season

'Twas the Eve of the Hunt

Submitted by Liquor Lady on

'Twas the eve of the hunt, we were ready for the haul.
Not a digger was sleeping, at least not in St. Paul!
Their shovels were clutched oh so proudly with care,
in hopes that the medallion soon would be theirs!

The diggers were dressed in their boots with good tread,
While visions of dollar signs danced in their heads.
With dad in his long johns and me with my scarf,
We just started off our long walk through the park.

When out on the playground I heard something shatter,
I sprang from my car to see what was the matter.
Away to the swings I flew in a flash,
Slamming the door, almost breaking the glass!

The slide was all covered with new fallen snow
And the monkey bars had icicles that hung really low,
When what to my wondering eyes should appear?
But the whole cooler crew and some 40 oz beers.

With a leader who knew there wasn't much time,
I knew in a flash it must be Terry Valentine!
Swifter than cheetahs her diggers they came
As she whistled and shouted and called them by name.

Now jake inge now green brown now medalling kids and marley king!
On tim the hunter on ian on eags and leelabell!
To the top of the hill to the top of the park!
Now dig away! dig away! dig away all!

Like a plow they uncovered every inch of that place,
Their noses all red and hope in their face.
They dug way up high and some down below,
But not one could uncover that medallion in the snow!

And then in the distance I saw by the water,
A man with a paper, it must be a spotter!
All smug was his face and his eyes sometimes scattered,
He looked like a bum cuz his clothes were all tattered!

The man with the paper was now in his car,
All toasty and warm smoking a big cigar
But I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight
Happy digging to all and to all a good night!

Mr. Red Bull Energy Drink Inventor

Submitted by KITCH on

Mud Light presents Real Medallion Heroes
(Real Medallion Heroes)

Today we salute you, Mr. Red Bull Energy Drink Inventor.
(Mr. Red Bull Energy Drink Inventor)
Without you we would fall asleep on our shovels after a long night of doing nothing more then walking around a park drinking Schnapps.
(Glucuronolactone!)
After a 6 pack, the clues seem all so clear and easy. Must be the Calcium Pantothenate.
(Vitalizing Mind and Body)
When its cold outside and I'm shaking....I just blame it on my caffine and taurine. I just hope my heart keeps racing.
(You give me wings!)
So crack open an ice cold bud light mr. master of a caffeine high, because as far as we're concerned, we can do without sleep for 12 days.
(Mr. Red Bull Energy Drink Inventor)

Mr. Geocache Hidin' Next to the Medallion Guy

Submitted by KC0GRN on

Mud Light presents Real Medallion Heroes
(Real Medallion Heroes)

Today we salute you, Mr. Geocache Hidin' Next to the Medallion Guy
(Mr. Geocache Hidin' Next to the Medallion Guy)
When all the craze of the medallion hunt hits, you start to worry, because your tupperware container seems to be in the same spot that hordes of people are tearing apart.
(There goes all my dollar store items!)
You anxiously check geocaching.com to see if any cachers have recently found your priceless cache.
(What's this error in /application?)
Who knows what a geocache is? Certainly not that mob of medallion hunters.
(Oh!)
But even in the aftermath of the hunt, you've got the determination to rehide another cache in the same exact spot.
(Thanks for the free cookie tin!)
So crack open an ice cold bud light Mr. Geocache Hidin' Next to the Medallion Guy, just remember, no food or beverages in the cache.
(Man I hate all these stupid cache rules!)

Mr. Hand and Foot Warmer Inventor

Submitted by tim_the_hunter on

Mud Light presents Real Medallion Heroes
(Real Medallion Heroes)

Today we salute you, Mr. Hand and Foot Warmer Inventor.
(Mr. Hand and Foot Warmer Inventor)
While the other 90% of our body is freezing it's ass off, it's okay because we have warm fingers and toes.
(My tootsies are so warm)
You took a nerdy subject like Chemistry and made something practical from it for once
(Nerds hate being cold now)
You started off with just foot warmers
(Oh!)
But that just wasn't enough, you dared to dream, you said "these can warm my hands too"
(Oh what a vision)
And so the hand and foot warmer was born. So crack open an ice cold bud light mr. hand and foot warmer inventor, but you better drink it fast, because god knows your hands are gonna warm it right up.
(No one likes a warm beer)

Mr. Bartender at Buggs Bar

Submitted by KITCH on

Mud Light presents Real Medallion Heroes
(Real Medallion Heroes)

Today we salute you, Mr. Bartender at Buggs Bar.
(Mr. Bartender at Buggs Bar)
We wouldn't want to have your job for 12 days out of the year. Being the home of the Medallionators must make your ears bleed.
(At least they tip for your pain!)
Sure there's danger year around- vinyl chairs, pulltabs stuck in your fingernail, glass in your ice...and a backed up toilet?
(But Jake will tell you stories!)
Your keen instincts tell you to stick to activities of cleaning out ashtrays vs. talking to Jake and Donny. And if that doesn't work, you can get stick a knife in your ear.
(Did you know donny was finder?!)
So crack open an ice-cold Bud Light, keeper of the bar-rag, because we all know, when the going gets tough, the tough get stay at buggs until clue 12.
(Mr. Bartender at Buggs Bar)

Mr. Treasure Hunters Guide Map Guy

Submitted by KITCH on

Mud Light presents Real Medallion Heroes
(Real Medallion Heroes)

Today we salute you, Mr. Treasure Hunters Guide Map Guy.
(Mr. Treasure Hunters Guide Map Guy)
Tthrough the magic of your pencils and expensive computer software, you give us somebody to blame for not finding it.
(Leaving out the good spots)
They said the crosby map was a waste....but without you we wouldn't have known about the Octagonal flower garden.
(You had it all planned out)
While lesser men would waste time with details, you had visions of selling books in the parking lot
(Considering renting out shovels)
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light Mr. I got an B in 3rd grade Art Class, because you and I know that a day in the park isn't complete without a selling at least 2 books.
(Mr. Treasure Hunters Guide Map Guy)

Mr. Camo Crew Medallion Hunter

Submitted by KITCH on

Mud Light presents Real Medallion Heroes
(Real Medallion Heroes)

Today we salute you Mr. Camo Crew Medallion Hunter.
(Mr. Camo Crew Medallion hunter)
Your amazing skills of deception can trick another hunter into thinking you are a tree out for a walk or a shrub having a cup of coffee.
(Shrub having coffee)
Tirelessly, you perfect your artistry, of clearing snow in an open field, with sense of knowledge of being in the right spot, all in spectacular shades of green.
(Green, green, and green)
Thanks to you we know we are in the wrong park when you are digging in the park because you are just another spotter.
(Spotter and bouncer in one)
So crack open an ice cold Mud Light Mr. Camo Crew Medallion Hunter because when it comes to blending in, you really stand out.
(Mr. Keeper of the Large Hoes)

Mr. Father of Skiing 1908-1988

Submitted by KITCH on

Mud Light presents Real Medallion Heroes
(Real Medallion Heroes)

Today we salute you, Mr. Father of Skiing 1908-1988.
(Mr. Father of Skiing)
When conventional wisdom said their must be an pappy of the wood on the feet, you dared to dream.
(Dared to dream)
But you inspired to go down in history as the Father.....and create a name for yourself.
(Who are you again?)
You made skiing your baby, and people cheered
(Oh!)
But you were satisfied. you said, "Wait, i think I don't wanna be the grandfather."
(Nice to be humble)
Aand so skiing was born. So crack open an ice cold bud light Mr. Name On a Cliff, because without you skiing would have never been world famous in Battle Creek Park.
(Thank you thank you thank you!)

Mr. Peppermint Schnapps Guy

Submitted by KITCH on

Mud Light presents Real Medallion Heroes
(Real Medallion Heroes)

Today we salute you, Mr. Peppermint Schnapps Guy.
(Mr. Peppermint Schnapps Guy!)
Without you, how would we ever talk to the stranger standing in line behind us? You give us the courage to make new friends.
(Its the booze!)
You ask us to "take a pull" and ask us to take a "big gulp" off of your chalice.
(Master of the pick up lines!)
Only you could come 5 minutes before the door opens and weasel your way into the front of the line.
(Post it note line holder!)
So crack open an ice cold Mud Light, oh keeper of the flask. You try very hard, to make us very very warm.
(I love you man!)