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:: shudder :: i'm probably gonna shoot myself for this later, but sing, post stories, whatever. but no barney i say! courtesy of artemis for your lyrics pleasure: |
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Leisure Suit Lyrics and Video Lounge and PPWC Karaoke Bar
All right!
Break me down, you got a lovely face
We're going to your place
And now you got to freak me out
Scream so loud, getting fuckin' laid
You want me to stay, but I got to make my way
Hey
You're a crazy bitch
But you fuck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on
Hey
You're a crazy bitch
But you fuck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on
Take it off, the paper is your game
You jump in bed with fame
Another one night paid in full, uh
You're so fine, it won't be a loss
Cashing in the rocks, just to get you face to face
Hey
You're a crazy bitch
But you fuck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on
Hey
You're a crazy bitch
But you fuck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on
Get the video
Fuck you so good
Get the video
Fuck you so good
Crazy bitch
Crazy bitch
Crazy...bitch
Hey
You're a crazy bitch
But you fuck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on
Hey
You're a crazy bitch
But you fuck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back, come on
Baby girl
You want it all
To be a star
You'll have to go down
Take it off
No need to talk
You're crazy
But I like the way you fuck me
Hey
You're a crazy bitch
But you fuck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on
Hey
You're a crazy bitch
But you fuck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on
You keep me right on
You're crazy
But I like the way you fuck me
Oh Yeah!
You wanna find it
Come on, yeah
I'm on a plane with cocaine
And yes I'm all lit up again
Cough up love and touch up
Your mama says packin' lines is sin
CHORUS
And yes I'm all litup again
On the couch, in my bed
And yes I'm all lit up again,flyin'
I love the cocaine, I love the cocaine
Mama can you wait,mama can you wait
I'm on a train and ride on
You know the train is stayin' off the track
I'm in touch love, from this crutch
Well you're on ten but buddy I'm on eleven
And yes I'm all lit up again
On the couch, in my bed
And yes I'm all lit up again, flyin'
I love the cocaine, I love the cocaine
Mama can you wait, mama can you wait
Ilove the cocaine, I love the cocaine
Mama can you wait
Oh can you wait long?
SOLO BREAK
Crack the door for the curious girl 'cuz she's waitin' She's been waitin'
Chop a line for the fiendin' man 'cuz he wants one
You know, you know you got to
Can you feel it, can you feel it tonight
Are you high, lord, tell me are ya fuckin' high?
In the moment, you are just so right
You're right love, oh you're right love
And yes I'm all lit up again
On the couch, in my bed
And yes I'm all lit up again, flyin'
I love the cocaine, I love the cocaine
Mama can you wait, mama can you wait
I love the cocaine, I love the cocaine
Mama can you wait
oh can you wait long?
oh yeahh..
Many years since I was here,
on the street I was passin' my time away
To the left and to the right,
buildings towering to the sky
It's outta sight in the dead of night
Here I am,
and in this city,
with a fistful of dollars
And baby, you'd better believe
Chorus:
I'm back, back in the new york groove
I'm back, back in the new york groove
I'm back, back in the new york groove
Back in the new york groove,
in the new york groove
In the back of my cadillac
A wicked lady, sittin' by my side,
sayin' 'where are we?
Stop at third and forty-three, exit to the night
It's gonna be ecstacy,
this place was meant for me
Feels so good tonight,
who cares about tomorrow
So baby, you'd better believe
Chorus
I'm back, back in the new york groove
At night I walk this stinkin' street
past the crazies on my block
And I see the same old faces
and I hear that same old talk
And I'm searching for the latest thing,
a break in this routine
I'm talkin' some new kicks,
ones like you ain't never seen
This is home, this is Mean Street
(This is) Yes-ah home,
the only one I know
An' we don't worry 'bout tomorrow
'cause we're sick of these four walls
Now what you think is nothin'
might be somethin' after all
Now you know this ain't no through street,
the end is dead ahead
The poor folks play for keeps down here,
they're the living dead
Come on down, (Huh! Ow!) down
(This is) to Mean Street
They're dancin' now, look!
Out on Mean Street
Dance baby!
(Guitar Solo)
It's always here and now my friend,
it ain't once upon a time
It's all over but the shouting,
I come to take what's mine
We're searchin' for the latest thing,
a break in this routine
Talkin' some new kicks,
ones like you ain't never seen
This is home, (Ooh) this is Mean Street
(This is) Yes-ah home,
only one I know
(This is home) See, a gun is real easy
(This is Mean Street) in this desperate part of town
(This is home) Turns you from hunted into hunter (Yeah)
(This is Mean Street) You go an' hunt somebody down
Wait a minute, ah (This is home) Somebody
said "Fair warning", Lord
(This is Mean Street) Lord, strike that poor boy down!
That one reminds me of walking through the 'streets' of Ely with my bro's huge boom box blasting that whole album over and over. All the older people thought we were a gang from the cities and forbid their daughters from hanging out with us.
Which worked to our advantage since all the girls wanted to be rebels and snuck out with us anyway. Heh :ooh: :wink: We called them the Groupies. :eyeroll:
That was the best VH album IMHO.
Next you're gonna post the lyrics to China White, Bohemian Rhapsody or Children of the Sun. :smile:
 :cool:
Everybody Wants Some!!
   ------Van Halen
(Words by Van Halen)
Ow!
(Adlib jungle sounds)
Ow!
Ooh yeah!
Oh yeah!
You can't get romantic on a subway line
Conductor don't like it, says, "You're wastin' your time"
But everybody wants some!
I want some too
Everybody wants some!
Baby, how 'bout you?
Oh! Oh yeah!
I took a mobile light, lookin' for a moonbeam. Ow!
Yeah, ya stand in line ya got lost in a jet stream
Ooh, everybody wants some!
I want some too (Oh yeah)
Everybody wants some!
How about you?
Ohhhh yeah
Ooooh yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah
(Guitar solo)
Everybody wants some!
I want some too! Whoa!
Everybody wants some! Hey, hey!
How 'bout you?
Yeah!
(Adlib jungle sounds)
Woo! Where'd you get that s#%t?
Oh, yeah
I like....
I like the little way the line runs up the back of the stockings
I've always liked those kind of high heels, too, ya know I...
No, no, no, no don't take 'em off. Don't take...leave 'em on
Yeah, that's it...a little more to the right
Ow! Hey, hey, hey!
Everybody wants some!
I want some too. Whoa!
Everybody wants some!
Baby how 'bout you? Yeah!
Everybody wants some!
Everybody wants some!
Everybody wants some!
Everybody needs some!
Ah yeah!
Ahhh yeah!
Look, I'll pay ya for it, what the %$#k?
I miss DLR
evidentlly the channel was going down-hill in listener-numbers, so they totally just dropped the rock format - leaving NYC, currently with no rock radio station....
not a big Sammy fan, here....
In the newest copy of Spin magazine, they put local bands - Motion City Soundtrack and The Plastic Constellations on their "16 more bands to watch" list....
Im glad TPC is catching on, like they are, right now... they're on their 3rd album, right now.... they've been voted best new band, in the past.... plus they're on 2024 Records - http://www.2024records.com - basically the biggest/best company in town with those guys, Valet, The Hopefuls (formerly the Olympic Hopefuls), Duplomacy, Romantica, and Fitzgerald
hopefully with more and more up-and comers like TPC, Motion City Soundtrack, and The Hopefuls, people will decide to look at more bands around here....
theres alotta music and talent to be heard from....
(for Nick)
I gave a girl a ride in my wagon
She rolled (crawled?) in and took control
She was tired and (yeah?) her mind was a-draggin'
I said get softly (?) back, dream of rock and roll
Refrain:
Like a picture she was layin' there
Moonlight dancin' off her hair
She woke up and took me by the hand
She's gonna love me in my Chevy van
And that's all right with me
Her young face was like that of an angel
Her long legs were tanned and brown
Better keep your eyes on the road, son
Better slow this vehicle down
Refrain
I put her out in a town that was so small
You could throw rocks (a rock?) from end to end
A dirt-road Main Street, she walked off in bare feet
It's a shame I won't be passin' through again
'Cause like a picture she was layin' there
Moonlight dancin' off her hair
She woke up and took me by the hand
We made love in my Chevy van
And that's all right with me
CRUISIN' AND BOOZIN'
Sammy Hagar
Saved all money for this Saturday
Got all my work done on time
Well finally kid, nothing can stop us now
Coming rain or shine
Every sweet thing on the street corner
"Hey, can I give you a ride...?"
Were just cruisin' and boozin
Trying to have a good time
That's right, baby
Cruisin' and boozin'
Out with some friends of mine.
Someday, I'm gonna beat this race
Be on top, you'll see.
Step myself out across that line
And be anything I wanna be.
But right now, everything's alright
Out here in the streets.
We've got JD in the back seat
We drink nothin' but the best.
Pop a buck in the gas tank,
We drink up the rest
Yeah, we'll drink up the rest!
thats not cool...
:coolfrown: :goofy:
Holy Diver - DIO
Holy Diver
You've been down too long in the midnight sea
Oh what's becoming of me
Ride the tiger
You can see his stripes but you know he's clean
Oh don't you see what I mean
Gotta get away
Holy Diver
Shiny diamonds
Like the eyes of a cat in the black and blue
Something is coming for you
Race for the morning
You can hide in the sun 'till you see the light
Oh we will pray it's all right
Gotta get away-get away
Between the velvet lies
There's a truth that's hard as steel
The vision never dies
Life's a never ending wheel
Holy Diver
You're the star of the masquerade
No need to look so afraid
Jump on the tiger
You can feel his heart but you know he's mean
Some light can never be seen
Sin City- AC/DC
Diamonds and dust
Poor man last, rich man first
Lambourginis, caviar
Dry martinis, Shangri-la
I got a burning feeling
Deep inside of me
It's yearning
But I'm going to set it free
CHORUS:
I'm going in to sin city
I'm gonna win in sin city
Where the lights are bright
Do the town tonight
I'm gonna win in sin city
(I'm gonna rule you baby)
Ladders and snakes
Ladders give, snakes take
Rich man, poor man, beggarman, thief
Ain't got a hope in hell, that's my belief
Fingers Freddy, Diamond Jim
They're getting ready, look out I'm coming in
So spin that wheel, cut that pack
And roll those loaded dice
Bring on the dancing girls
And put the champaign on ice
Memories are just where you laid them
Dragging the waters til the depths give up their dead
What did you expect to find?
Was it something you left behind?
Don't you remember anything I said when I said,
Don't fall away and leave me to myself
Don't fall away and leave love bleeding in my hands, in my hands again
And leave love bleeding in my hands, in my hands
Love lies bleeding
Oh hold me now I feel contagious
Am I the only place that you've left to go?
She cries her life is like
Some movie in black and white
Dead actors faking lines, over and over and over again she cries
Don't fall away and leave me to myself
Don't fall away and leave love bleeding in my hands, in my hands again
And leave love bleeding in my hands, in my hands
Love lies bleeding
And I watched as you turned away
You don't remember, but I do
You never even tried
Don't fall away and leave me to myself
Don't fall away and leave love bleeding in my hands, in my hands again
Leave love bleeding in my hands, in my hands again
Leave love bleeding in my hands, in my hands again, oh
Holy Diver - I used to run that tune through my brother's Crate amp and put it out in the garage with the door opened. I loved playing the beginning of that tune over and over due to the awesome kick-in. I would time it perfectly for when the other kids would get off the bus from school when I was suspended or something.
Sin City - I was already into AC/DC heavy. When I mentioned them to my neighbor girl who was a year older than me. She was a nerdy type but mentioned that her favorite tune from them was Sin City. Her knowing anything from them floored me. I had all their stuff but couldn't remember that one. It's awesome! Needless to say we went out for a bit after that little tidbit of information. :pbpt:
Incidentally, I was turned on to AC/DC from a super nerdy kid down the block. I remember listening to the B&B album under my covers because it was considered satanic. :eyeroll:
Obviously, I stole the album from the kid. :wink:
Keep them coming C68. These little walks down memory lane are probably boring to everyone but they're very therapeutic for me. :ooh:
Weepin' and a-moanin' like a turtle dove
Rise Sally rise, wipe your weepin' eyes
Turn to the east, turn to the west
Turn to the one that you love the best
Little Jimmy Walker, sittin' in a saucer
Weepin' and a-moanin' like a turtle dove
Rise Jimmy rise, wipe your weepin' eyes
Turn to the east, turn to the west
Turn to the one that you love the best
Sittin' in a saucer
Ride, Sally ride
Wipe your weepin' eyes
Put your hands on your hips
And let your back bone slip
I want you to
Shake it to the east
Awww, I moved that-a baby
Shake it to the west
I moved I moved that baby
Shake it to the very one
That you love the best
Little Sally Walker
Tell me what you're gonna do
Little Sally Walker
I'm in love with you
Hup hup hup, owww
hup hup hup, owww
Little Sally Walker
I see ya sittin' in your saucer
Rise and do the jerk
I love to see you work
Yeah
Little Sally Walker
Tell me what you're gonna do
Little Sally Walker
I'm in love with you
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah...
Put your hands on your hips
Ahh, got it
Let your back bone slip
Back bone slip now
Shake it to the east
Shake shake shake
Shake shake shake shake it
Shake it to the west
Shake shake shake
Shake shake shake shake it
Shake it to the very one
That you love the best
Come on now
Little Sally Walker
Oh shake it Sally
Shake it Sally Walker
Oh shake it Sally
Shake shake Sally Walker
Oh-h-h-h
Shakin' it Sally Walker
Oh-h-h-h
Shakin' it Sally Walker
I shook it baby
Shake shake Sally Walker
I shook it baby
Little Sally Walker
Watch me shake it baby
Shake it Sally Walker
Oooohhhhh
Shake shake Sally Walker
Little Sally Walker
Shake it now
Shake shake Sally Walker
I shook it baby...
etc to fade
A good example is the song "Little Sally Walker." It's been recorded by many blues artists, but it's also been recorded as "Little Sally Saucer" (the lyrics describe a girl "sittin' in a saucer"). Frankie Quimby, a relative of Bailey's who also traces her roots to Bilali Mohammed, says the song originated during slavery on the Georgia coast, written by songwriting slaves who took the last name (Walker) of their slave owners.
"I've seen (people) take the song and use different words," says Quimby, who sings slave songs with her husband in a group called the Georgia Sea Island Singers, which recently performed for President Bush and his Cabinet. "We're educating people about this."
I always gotta take it another step
I don't know what else she is signing...
man.... I forgot how much I liked the Fugees.... hopefully they stick around longer, this time.
Now Clancy was a peaceful man, if you know what I mean.
The cops picked up the pieces after Clancy left the scene.
He never looked for trouble, that's a fact you can assume.
But never-the-less, when trouble would press,
Clancy lowered the boom!
Oh, that Clancy! Oh, that Clancy!
Whenever they got his Irish up,
Clancy lowered the boom!
O'Leary was a fighting man, they all knew he was tough.
He strutted 'round the neighborhood, a-shootin' off his guff.
He picked a fight with Clancy, then and there he sealed his doom.
Before you could shout "O'Leary, look out!"
Clancy lowered the boom!
Clancy left the barber shop with tonic on his hair,
He walked into the poolroom and he met O'Reilly there.
O'Reilly said "For goodness sakes, now do I smell perfume?"
Before you could stack your cue in the rack,
Clancy lowered the boom!
Mulrooney walked into the bar and ordered up a round.
He left his drink to telephone, and Clancy drank it down.
Mulrooney said "Who drunk me drink? I'll lay him in his tomb!"
Before you could pat the top of your hat,
Clancy lowered the boom!
O'Houlihan delivered ice to Misses Clancy's flat.
He'd always linger for a while, to talk of this and that.
One day he kissed her just as Clancy walked into the room.
Before you could say the time of day,
Clancy lowered the boom!
The neighbors all turned out for Kate O'Grady's weddin' night.
McDoogle said "Let's have some fun - I think I'll start a fight!"
He wrecked the hall, then kissed the bride and pulverized the groom.
Then quick as a wink, before you could think,
Clancy lowered the boom!
for cluey
In the jungle the mighty jungle the lion sleeps tonight
Near the village the peaceful village the lion sleeps tonight
Near the village the peaceful village the lion sleeps tonight
Hush my darling donÂ’t cry my darling the lion sleeps tonight
Hush my darling donÂ’t fear my darling the lion sleeps tonight
"Chilliiiiiiis , babybaaack riiibbs"
"BARBECUE SAUCE".
Song: Best Of Friends Lyrics
When you're the best of friends
Having so much fun together
You're not even aware, you're such a funny pair
You're the best of friends
Life's a happy game
You could clown around forever
Neither one of you sees, your natural boundaries
Life's one happy game
If only the world wouldn't get in the way
If only people would just let you play
They say you're both being fools
You're breaking all the rules
They can't understand, the magic of your wonderland
Hu-hu-hu
When you're the best of friends
Sharing all that you discover
When that moment has past, will that friendship last?
Who can say? There's a way!
Oh I hope... I hope it never ends
'Cause you're the best of friends
Song: Evrybody Has A Laughing Place Lyrics
hee hee ha ha hee hee hoo hoo
Boy are we in luck!
We're visiting a laughing place
Hee hee hoo ha hoo hoo
Everybody's got a laughing place
A laughing place to go
Take a frown, turn it upside down
And you'll find yours we know
Honey and rainbows on our way
Where everyone is worth his weight
Boy are we in luck
We're visiting a laughing place
Everybody's got a laughing place
A laughing place to go
Take a smile and for a while
You'll find yours we know
Honey and rainbows on our way
Take that frown, turn it upside down
And soon you'll find you're here to stay
Everybody's got a laughing place to go
Come on in, give us all a grin
And you'll find yours I know
Laughing has always been our game
Honey fun is what we bring
Boy are we in luck
We're visiting a laughing place
Everybody's got a laughing place
A laughing place to go
We've found one thats filled with fun
And you'll find yours we know
Everybody's got a laughing place
A laughing place to go
Take a frown, turn it upside down
And you'll find yours we say we think
Song: Thats What Friends Are For Lyrics
We're your friends
We're your friends
We're your friends to the bitter end
When you're alone
Who comes around
To pluck you up
When you are down
And when you're outside, looking in
Who's there to open the door?
That's what friends are for!
Who's always eager to extend
A friendly claw?
That's what friends are for!
And when you're lost in dire need
Who's at your side at lightning speed?
We're friends of every creature
Comin' down the pike
In fact we never met an animal
We didn't like, didn't like
So you can see
We're friends in need
And friends in need
Are friends indeed
We'll keep you safe
In the jungle forevermore
That's what friends are for!
Song: The Siamese Cat Song Lyrics
We are Siameeiz if you pleeiz
We are Siameeiz if you don't please
We are former residents of Siam
There are no finer cats than we am
We are Siamese with very dainty claws
Please observing paws containing dainty claws
Now we lookin' over our new domicile
If we like we stay for maybe quite a while
Song: Pink Elephants On Parade Lyrics
Look out! Look out!
Pink elephants on parade
Here they come!
Hippety hoppety
They're here and there
Pink elephants ev'rywhere
Look out! Look out!
They're walking around the bed
On their head
Clippety cloppety
Arrayed in braid
Pink elephants on parade
What'll I do? What'll I do?
What an unusual view!
I could stand the sight of worms
And look at microscopic germs
But technicolor pachyderms
Is really much for me
I am not the type to faint
When things are odd or things
are quaint
But seeing things you know that ain't
Can certainly give you an awful fright!
What a sight!
Chase 'em away!
Chase 'em away!
I'm afraid need your aid
Pink elephants on parade!
Pink elephants!
Pink elephants!
Song: A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes Lyrics
A dream is a wish your heart makes
When you're fast asleep
In dreams you lose your heartaches
Whatever you wish for, you keep
Have faith in your dreams and someday
Your rainbow will come smiling thru
No matter how your heart is grieving
If you keep on believing
the dream that you wish will come true
Ha - ha - ha, Ho - ho - ho - And a couple of tra - la - las
That's how we laugh the day away, In the Merry Old Land of Oz!
Bzz - bzz - bzz, Chirp - chirp - chirp - And a couple of La - di - das
That's how the crickets crick all day, In the Merry Old Land of Oz!
We get up at twelve and start to work at one.
Take an hour for lunch and then at two we're done.
Jolly good fun!
Ha - ha - ha, Ho - ho - ho - And a couple of tra - la - las
That's how we laugh the day away, In the Merry Old Land of Oz!
Pat, pat here, Pat, pat there, and a couple of brand new straws.
That's how we keep you young and fair In the Merry Old Land of Oz!
Rub, rub here, Rub, rub there, Whether you're tin or brass
That's how we keep you in repair In the Merry Old Land of Oz!
We can make a dimple smile out of a frown.
Can you even dye my eyes to match my gown? Uh-huh!
Jolly Old town!
Clip, clip here, Clip, clip there, We give the roughest claws.
That certain air of savoir faire, In the Merry Old Land of Oz!
Ha - ha - ha - Ho - ho - ho - Ho - ho - ho - ho -
That's how we laugh the day away In the Merry Old Land of Oz!
Ha - ha - ha, Ho - ho - ho - Ha - ha - ha -ha - ha
That's how we laugh the day away, In the Merry Old Land of Oz!
Act I
SCENE TWO
JOE'S GARAGE
A boring old garage in a residential area with a teenage
band rehearsing in it. JOE (the main character in the CENTRAL
SCRUTINIZER'S Special Presentation) sings to us of the trials
and tribulations of garage- band husbandry.
JOE:
It wasn't very large
There was just enough room to cram the drums
In the corner over by the Dodge
It was a fifty-four
With a mashed up door
And à cheesy little amp
With a sign on the front said
"Fender Champ"
And a second-hand guitar
It was a Stratocaster with a whammy bar
At this point, LARRY(a guy who will eventually give up music
and earn a respectable living as a roadie for a group called Toad-O)
joins in the song...
LARRY:
We could jam in Joe's Garage
His mama was screamin'
His dad was mad
We was playin' the same old song
In the afternoon 'n' sometimes we would
Play it all night long
It was all we knew, 'n' easy too
So we wouldn't get it wrong
All we did was bend the string like...
Hey!
Down in Joe's Garage
We didn't have no dope or LSD
But a coupla quartsa beer
Would fix it so the intonation
Would not offend yer ear
And the same old chords goin' over 'n' over
Became a symphony
We would play it again 'n' again 'n' again
'Cause it sounded good to me
ONE MORE TIME!
We could jam in Joe's Garage
His mama was screamin', "TURN IT DOWN!"
We was playin' the same old song
In the afternoon 'n' sometimes we would
Play it all night long
It was all we knew, and easy too
So we wouldn't get it wrong
Even if you played it on a saxophone
We thought we was pretty good
We talked about keepin' the band together
'N' we figured that we should
'Cause about this time we was gettin' the eye
From the girls in the neighborhood
They'd all come over 'n' dance around like...
Twenty teen-age girls dash in and go STOMP-CLAP, STOMP-CLAP-CLAP...
So we picked out à stupid name
Had some cards printed up for a coupla bucks
'N' we was on our way to fame
Got matching suits
'N' Beatle Boots
'N' a sign on the back of the car
'N' we was ready to work in a GO-GO Bar
ONE TWO THREE FOUR
LET'S SEE IF YOU GOT SOME MORE!
People seemed to like our song
They got up 'n' danced 'n made a lotta noise
An' it wasn't 'fore very long
A guy from a company we can't name
Said we oughta take his pen
'N' sign on the line for a real good time
But he didn't tell us when
These "good times" would be somethin'
That was really happenin
So the band broke up
An' it looks like
We will never play again...
JOE:
Guess you only get one chance in life
To play a song that goes like...
And, as the band plays their little song,
MRS. BORG (who keeps her son, SY, in the closet with the vacuum cleaner)
screams out the window...
MRS. BORG:
Turn it down! Turn it DOWN! I have children sleeping here...
Don't you boys know any nice songs?
JOE:
(Speculating on the future)
Well the years was rollin' by
Heavy Metal 'n Glitter Rock
Had caught the public eye
Snotty boys with lipstick on
Was really flyin' high
'N' then they got that Disco thing
'N' New Wave came along
'N' all of a sudden I thought the time
Had come for that old song
We used to play in "Joe's Garage"
And if I am not wrong
You will soon be dancin to...
CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER:
The WHITE ZONE is for loading and unloading only. If you gotta load or
unload, go to the WHITE ZONE. You'll love it...
JOE:
Well the years was rollin' by (etc.)...
MRS. BORG:
I'm calling THE POLICE!
There! I did it! They'll be here...shortly!
OFFICER BUTZIS:
This is the Police...
We have the garage surrounded
If you come out with your hands up
We guarantee you won't be harmed
Or hurt, neither (SWAT Team 4, move in!)
MRS. BORG:
He used to cut my grass... He was a very nice boy...
CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER:
This is the CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER...
That was Joe's first confrontation with The Law.
Naturally, we were easy on him.
One of our friendly counselors gave him
A do-nut... and told him to
Stick closer to church-oriented social activities.
Backstage at the local armory, mary, in her little white dress, is wiping the remnants of her performance off the side of her mouth as larry (the guy from the garage who quit the band in order t
E an honest living) zips up the front of his stinking boiler suit and sings to the same teen-age girls who were stomping and clapping a little while ago, as they kneel with their little pink mou
Pen near the crew bus, hoping to save the price of admission by performing acts of hooverism on the jolly lads who set up the p.a. system.
Larry:
Hey hey hey all you girls in these
Industrial towns
I know youÂ’re probÂ’ly gettinÂ’ tired
Of all the local clowns
They never give you no respect
They never treat you nice
So perhaps you oughta try
A little friendly advice
And be a crew slut
Hey, youÂ’ll love it
Be a crew slut
ItÂ’s a way of life
Be a crew slut
See the world
DonÂ’t make a fuss, just get on the bus
Crew slut
Add water makes itÂ’s own sauce
Be a crew slut
So you donÂ’t forget, call before midnite tonite
The boys in the crew
Are just waiting for you
You never to get move around
You never go nowhere
I know yer probÂ’ly gettinÂ’ tired
Of all the guys out there
You always wondered what itÂ’s like
To go from place to place
So, darlinÂ’, take a little ride
On the mixerÂ’s face
Be a crew slut
Just follow the magic footprints
Be a crew slut
Hey, youÂ’ll love it!
Be a crew slut
ItÂ’s a way of life
I ainÂ’t gonna squash it
And you donÂ’t need to wash it!
Crew slut
Hey, IÂ’ll buy you a pizza
Crew slut
Of course IÂ’ll introduce you to warren
The boys in the crew
Are only waiting for you
At this point, the road crew, as all road crews must from time to time, borrow some of the big rock groupÂ’s equipment and have a blues jam session, indicating to the kneeling maidens that they a
Dowed with a great deal of raw talent, as well as massive meat. obviously impressed with larryÂ’s ability to suck so hard on his harmonica that screeching little noises come out of it, mary kneel
In and reaches upward in gestures of supplication, listening intently as larry continues to sing...
Larry:
Well you been to alabama, girl,
Â’nÂ’ georgia too
Â’nÂ’ all the boys in the crew
Is beinÂ’ good to you
I know yer sayinÂ’ to yourself
Â’this is the way to goÂ’
Â’cause when you need a little extra
They will give you some moÂ’
`cause youÂ’re the crew slut
Mary:
Eh, hah ha, IÂ’m into leather...
Larry:
ThatÂ’s good! a lot of the boys in the crew love leather...
Mary:
And rubber...
Larry:
Yeh, they like rubber too...shrink-tubing
With a hair dryer...
Road crew chorus:
Trade your spot on the bench
For a guy with a wrench
And be a...
Mary:
Ha ha ha...
Larry:
You like that, huh?
I told you youÂ’d love it...
ItÂ’s a way of life!
Road crew chorus:
The guys in the crew
Have got a present for you!
Ren nah naaah
Ren nah naaah
Ren nah naaah
Mary:
A present for me?
Road crew chorus:
Ren nah naaah
Ren nah naaah
Ren nah naaah
Larry:
Hmmm, we got a present for you!
Road crew chorus:
Ren nah naaah
Ren nah naaah
Ren nah naaah
Mary:
Whaddya got?
Road crew chorus:
Ren nah naaah
Mary:
Whaddya gonna give me?
Road crew chorus:
Ren nah naaah
Ren nah naaah
Larry:
It looks just like a telefunken u-47
YouÂ’ll love it...
Mary:
With leather?
Central scrutinizer:
Eh errr, eh eh...this is,eh, the central scrutinizer again...
And so mary was enticed away from joe
By an evil barbarian with a wrench in his pocket
Lured into a life of sleazery
With the entire road crew of some
Famous rock group
(I donÂ’t know whether it was really toad-o or not
...i donÂ’t know... IÂ’ll check it out)
Again we see
Music
Causing
Big trouble!
It looks just like a telefunken u-47
ive got the double-CD, but it sounds much better on a Record... I remember my dad playing that when I was like 6 or so.... and loved that song, for whatever reason.... mainly the old lady screaming "TURN IT DOWN!" in the background....
I wish I could have seen him before he died...
did a huge report on him, junior year in highschool, for this "history of music" class that I had.... everyone else was doing popular KDWB music, and I busted in with Zappa.... afterwards, the teacher lady came up to me, and said "Thank you, I think you may have opened some eyes today"..... A+ - 100% in that class, man....
(You're an asshole! An ASSHOLE!)
Some of you might not agree
'Cause you probably likes a lot of misery
But think a while and you will see...
Broken hearts are for assholes
Broken hearts are for assholes
Are you an asshole?
Broken hearts are for assholes
Are you an asshole too?
Whatcha gonna do, 'cause you're an asshole...
Maybe you think you're a lonely guy
Maybe you think you're too tough to cry
So you went to *The Grape*,
Just to give it a try
And Dagmar
(Without a doubt, the ugliest sonofabitch I ever saw in my life)
Was his name...
(One Two Three Four!)
The whiskers sticking out from underneath of his
Pancake make-up
(And yet he was a beautiful lady)
Nearly drove you insane
(Let's talk about Leather: LEATHERRRRRR)
And so you kissed a little sailor
(Tex Abel, starring in the latest Shepperton Production:)
Who had just blew in from Spain
(Sir Richard Pump-A-Loaf)
You sniffed the reeking buns of Angel
(The story of a demented bread-boffer)
And acted like it was cocaine
(Cucumber pud annexed to a fine whole-wheat loaf)
You were dazzled by the exciting new costume of Ko-Ko
(Then on Tuesday night, Ceasar's back in town)
In a way you can't explain
(Facing off in a no-holds-barred tag team grudge match
With Kona.)
And so you worked the wall with Michael
(Three-hundred-seventy-nine pounds of Samoan dynamite)
Which gave your back an awful strain
(Volcanic Hell)
But you came back on Sunday for the gong show
(Next Thursday, teen town's finest...)
But you forgot what I was sayin'
'Cause you're an asshole, You're an asshole
That's right
You're an asshole, you're an asshole
Yes, yes
You're an asshole, you're an asshole
That's right
You're an asshole, you're an asshole
(Now you been to The Grape 'n' you been to The Chest
'N' now I think you know what you are: you're an asshole
You say you can't live with what you been through
Well, ladies you can be an asshole too
You might pretend you ain't got one on the bottom of you,
But don't fool yerself girl
It's lookin' at you
Don't fool yerself girl
It's winkin' at you
Don't fool yerself girl
It's blinkin' at you
That's why I say
I'm gonna ram it, ram it, ram it
Ram it up yer poop chute
(Corn hole)
Ram it, ram it, ram it
Ram it up yer poop chute
(Fist fuck)
Ram it, ram it, ram it
Ram it up yer poop chute
(Wrist-watch; Crisco)
Ram it, ram it, ram it
Ram it up yer poop chute
(Pud!)
Don't fool yerself, girl
It's goin' right up yer poop chute
Don't fool yerself, girl
It's goin' right up yer poop chute
(etc., repeats)
(Aw, I knew you'd be surprised)
--My guitar Wants to Kill Your Momma
You know your mama
And your daddy
Saying I'm no good for you
They call me dirty
From the alley
'Till I don't know what to do
I get so tired of sneakin' around
Just to get to your back door
I crawled past the garbage
And your mama jumped out
Screaming: "Don't come back no more"
I can't take it
My guitar wants to kill your mama
My guitar wants to kill your mama
My guitar wants to burn your dad
I get real mean
When it makes me mad
Ay!
Later I tried to call you
Your mama told me you weren't there
She told me don't bother to call again
Unless I cut off all my hair
I get so tired of sneakin' around
Just to get to your back door
I crawled past the garbage
And your mama jumped out
Screaming: "Don't come back no more!"
I can't take it
My guitar wants to kill your mama
My guitar wants to kill your mama
My guitar wants to burn your dad
I get real mean
When it makes me mad
Ay!
Later I tried to call you
Your mama told me you weren't there
She told me don't bother to call again
Unless I cut off all my hair
I get so tired of sneakin' around
Just to get to your back door
I crawled past the garbage
And your mama jumped out
Screaming: "Don't come back no more!"
I can't take it
My guitar wants to kill your mama
My guitar wants to kill your mama
My guitar wants to burn your dad
I get real mean
When it makes me mad
Ay!
FZ
After a few weeks on the bus, being porked by toad-o�s road
crew, and being too exhausted to do their laundry on a regular
basis, mary is dumped in miami. with no money (and no other
famous rock
Ps due into the area for at least three weeks), she tries to
pick up a few bucks by entering the wet t-shirt contest at the
brasserie...
Ike:
Looks to me like something funny is going on around here people
laughin� �n� dancin� �n� payin� entirely too much for their beer
and they all think they are clean outa-site and they�re ready to
�cause the sign outside says it�s wet t-shirt nite �n� they all
crave some hot delight well the girls are excited because in a
minute they�re gonna get wet �n� the boys are delighted because
al
Titties will get �em upset �n� they all think they are
reety-awright �n� they�re ready to boogie �cause the sign
outside says it�s wet t-shirt nite �n� they all crave some pink
delight when the
R gets on �em their ninnies get rigid �n� look pretty bold it�s
a common reaction that makes an attraction whenever it�s cold
�n� all of the fellas they wish they could bite on the cute
little n
S the local girls are showin� off tonite you know I think it
serves �em right you know I think it serves �em right you know I
think it serves �em right you know I think it serves �em right
and i
Et t-shirt time again I know
You want someone to show you some tit! big ones! wet ones! big
wet ones!
At this point, father riley (who had been recently de-frocked
for not meeting his quota, and has grown his hair out and bought
a groovy sport coat and moved to miami and changed his name to
budd
Es) steps onto the crowded bandstand in his exciting new role as
a wet t-shirt contest emcee...
Buddy jones:
Ah, thanks, ike... yes, it�s wet t-shirt time again here at the
brasserie... home of the tits...huh huh... and it�s the charming
mary from canoga park up next in her bid for the semi-finals...
h
Ry...howya doin�?
Having been f**ked senseless by the boys in the crew, mary does
not recognize the former religious personage from her nights in
the rectory basement during which she acquired her basic manual
sk
..confounded by his sport coat, she replies...
Mary:
Hi!
Realizing that she no longer recognizes him...or even
appreciates the patient religious training he had given her in
the past, buddy jones, like a true wet t-shirt emcee type
person, proceeds to
Various stupid things to waste time, making the contest itself
take longer, thereby giving the mongoloids squatting on the
dance floor an opportunity to buy more exciting
beverages...liquid prod
That will expand their consciousnesses to the point whereby they
might more fully enjoy the ambiance of miami by night...
Buddy jones:
Where ya from?
Mary:
Ah, the bus...
Buddy jones:
Which one?
Mary:
You know...the last tour... you know...leather
Buddy jones:
Oh...you were the girl stuck to seat 38 phydeaux iii... why
don�t you get in position and take a deep breath, because this
water is very, very cold, but it�s goin� to be so stimulating.
and mary
E kind of red- blooded american girl who�ll do anything...
Mary:
Anything...
Buddy jones:
I said anything...for fifty bucks that�s right!
Mary:
I really need the fifty bucks you know I gotta get home!
Buddy jones:
Yeh, I know, your father is waiting for you in the tool
shed...that�s right, you heard right...our big prize tonite is
fifty american dollars to the girl with the most exciting
mammalian protube
S...
Mary:
Here I am!
Buddy jones:
...as viewed through a thoroughly soaked, stupid looking white
sort of male person�s conservative kind of middle-of-the-road
cotton undergarment! whoopee! and here comes the water!
Mary:
Eeek!
Buddy jones:
No, you�d squeak more if the water got on you...sounds like you
just got an ice pick in the forehead...and here comes the ice
pick in the forehead ...a million laughs, mary! anyway; good
golly,
A mess...she�s totally soaked...yeh, totally committed to the
fifty bucks...that�s it just step into the spotlight...let the
guys get a good look at ya honey!
Mary:
Here I am!
Buddy jones:
Whaddya say, fellas? nice setta jugs? now mary, how�s about
shakin� it around a little...
Mary:
Ooooh!
Buddy jones:
Oh my goodness, look at her go!
Mary:
Oooh! I�m dancing! I�m dancing!
Buddy jones:
Ain�t this what living is really all about! here�s your fifty
bucks mary...
Mary:
Oh great! now I can go
Huh?
Normally I hate it when bands do the "this whole album is a story" deal, because I dont wanna listen to the entire thing for 3+ hours.... but in Joes Garage case, its funny as hell, and the time flies....
Van Halen II Lyrics
You're No Good
(Lyrics by Clint Ballard, Jr.)
Hahhhhh
Well I'm, feelin' better, now that we're through
Feelin' better baby, I'm over you
(Ah) I've learned my lesson baby, and it left a scar
(Ah) But now I see how ya really are
You're no good! no good, no good
Baby, you're no good. Oooh yeah
No good, no good, no good (Ah-hah!)
Baby, you're no good
I broke a heart, simple n' true
Broke a heart for someone like you
(Ah) We'll be comin' back, don't come running to me
(Ah) I wanna love you, maybe set you free
You're no good, no good, no good
Baby, you're no good. Whoa oh-ooh
You're no good, no good, no good (Ah-no!)
Baby, you're no good
Hah
(Guitar Solo)
Used to be I couldn't sleep at night, baby
Now you go on an' do what you want to
Ow!
(Ah-ow!)
No good, no good, (Ow-ow!) no good
Baby, you're no good (Ow!)
(Ow-ow!)
Ah! Uh! Uh!
I used to have some netscape radio thing, like that too, a while ago..... it just played random songs, but they classified every genre under a different channel.... there were like 50 of them....