I'm personally incredibly drained to probably speak on this (terry will probably have something perfect and profound to say on this subject)...but....I've learned that if 2 people can't find forgiveness and once again want and need for the other person .... than do they part? its painful either way...if they stay together OR if they part.
a marriage should bring out the best in eachother - loving their little quirks and carrying them when they are down (not always but, there could have been an incident or turning point that one probably cannot forgive)---it shouldn't forever be full of painful moments and selfishness - life is too short in the long run - if they decide to part than hopefully one or both will find someone else who will honor them the way they should be loved and honored for their true selves. It may hurt you but in the end its what hurts them that really matters. You should hope for the best for both of them weather they stay together or not.
sorry to hear you know someone with this difficulty in their life right now :frown:
here is a pretty good exerpt from:
Dr. Laura Schlessinger's new book, “The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage”
I remember some twenty-five years ago working with a middle-aged couple on their marital problems. Frankly it seemed as though they were hopeless, refusing to spend any time at all on their difficulties other than complaining and blaming each other for their unhappiness. I recall closing my eyes for a moment and just listening. I could hear the hurt, loss, and need in their voices. Instead of trying to reconcile their "problems" I decided to get to the root of the plant and stop worrying first about the way the petals looked. I opened my eyes and interrupted their fight by saying, slowly, to each of them, "Sir, what do you do to make her feel like a woman?" and "Ma'am, what do you do to make him feel like a man?"
They both just stared at me, speechless. I insisted that they answer my question, despite their determination to get back into the fight. Finally she began to cry softly, and he looked deflated, when just seconds before, they were both energized, reddened with anger. We had some fifteen minutes left to the session, and they had nothing to say—to me or to each other.
Marriages are not business arrangements of coworkers or co-owners. Marriages are the joining of two minds, bodies, souls, spirits, hopes, dreams, needs, personalities, and different genders".
At the beginning, it's fireworks and more fireworks.
Then if the fireworks continue, the couple makes a commitment to each other and marriage seals that commitment.
Then the real work begins. Marriage means taking that commitment to each other seriously enough to work on it. There has to be a real give and take or the marriage fails.
That work includes remaining faithful, agreeing never to go to sleep angry with each other, supporting each other in time when things are tough and rejoicing in the times when things are going smoothly. One needs to realize the fireworks sometimes get lost for awhile among other responsibilities with kids, house, other family situations, but there was a connection there at the beginning and if you take the time to look, that connection is always there.
What is sad to see is when two people made that commitment to each other and then fail to work at it. Fireworks can't be expected all the time. Long term loving and marriage is much more than fireworks.
I think love means different things for different people.....
Some people wear their heart on their sleeve, and arent afraid to show emotions, and let things be known...
Some people hide feelings, and dont know when to show it/what to show...
Some people are a mixture of both....
Some people take advantage of either of the first two.... easy pickins... vultures if you will....
Hell....
for the past nearly 2 years, i built a wall.... no a f'n castle, out of these thick ass bricks....
making sure every damn one of them was in place, so nobody would come through ever again...
I was intent on going forward, miserable and alone, because thats how it had evidentlly been planned out......
but recently.... and seemlingly outta noplace, somebody came around, and f'n, straight up Jackie Channed their way over that wall, and has been knockin it back down, one brick at a time.....
I wake up, sometimes and wonder "will this be the day?".....
the day that it ends, and goes away, once again....
call it crazy.... but I just come to expect that crap.....
I've come to find out, in these past couple of years, that nothing good stays put.... and the more good that comes around, bad stuff follows it.....
I've changed some from "then".... but at the same time, the wounds are still fresh, becuse they havent ever healed properly......
granted the days that I ask myself that question, are getting to be fewer and farther between.... but still....
Its still there, drilled into my brain, and isnt going away....
am I happy?
content. for the time being.
ask me again tomorrow, because thats how quickly things can change.
Love is a construct that is going to be different for everyone, really. People can agree on what a bird or a table or a rock is, because they are more factual and concrete in nature. Love though is more abstract, it's a feeling that is summed up into a general idea, but which may be felt or interpreted in many different ways. We all have different perspectives on love, which are developed over time. Look at the examples we have had growing up, whether it be from our parents, grandparents, family, neighbors, or in the media. These experiences are going to shape our meaning of love, and we've learned things about love and relationships from these experiences.
As I think about why relationships are being given up on more easily now, I think it's a part of our society. In a number of ways, our society has become more interested in instant gratification. Fast food and microwave ovens to get the food we want faster. Email and cell phones to get our communication out faster. Broadband and cable to get information quicker. Products to make cleaning faster and easier. Our time is becoming more valuable and we are wanting our gratification quicker. We're not investing as much time and work into projects as before, to get an end result that we can be proud of because of the work put in. You could make a meal from scratch, build something with your own barehands, write a letter on pen and paper, and these things would have meaning because you took the time and effort to make them.
When we're trying to woo someone, we aren't going to make our flaws be known right away. We want to attract them with our best qualities. Then as time goes on, we find out the worst about the other people. And there are people who are rushing into things, looking for the gratification right away. Some people are having sex early on in a relationship for the physical gratification, instead of waiting for the emotional gratification that comes later. If things turn bad, then instead of putting in the time and effort to make things work, they just move on to find the next thing to make them happy. Divorce is much more acceptable in society today, as opposed to before. Women have more power in today's society, so men don't have the power of yesteryear to keep marriages together by their will. There's more stressors on families today, with more diversity in roles and responsbilities by different people within relationships and families. We also have more access to people, whether it be through transit (meeting people within our towns and cities) or communication (meeting people online).
I guess I rambled on a bit there, but those are my thoughts on this.
From the voice of experience... (and if it is true that with age comes knowledge I should almost be a genius by now), for what it is worth, I think I have finally figured out the secret to true happiness in a relationship. Be with the person who is truly your best friend. Through the good times, the bad times... just all the time, nurture and cherish that bond of friendship and never for one second take for granted how blessed and lucky you are. Oh... and don't go to bed angry......... tucks soapbox back under arm and walks away....
I never thought about recycling the metal from the world trade
cool use if it is
USS New York
It was built with 24 tons of scrap steel from the World Trade Center.
It is the fifth in a new class of warship - designed for missions that include special operations against terrorists. It will carry a crew of 360 sailors and 700 combat-ready Marines to be delivered ashore by helicopters and assault craft.
Steel from the World Trade Center was melted down in a foundry in Amite , LA to cast the ship's bow section. When it was poured into the molds on Sept. 9, 2003, "those big rough steelworkers treated it with total reverence," recalled Navy Capt. Kevin Wensing, who was there. "It was a spiritual moment for everybody there."
Junior Chavers, foundry operations manager, said that when the trade center steel first arrived, he touched it with his hand and the "hair on my neck stood up." "It had a big meaning to it for all of us," he said. "They knocked us down. They can't keep us down. We're going to be back."
Yup it's true, I even saw the making of it on a discovery or tlc special. Pretty cool actually. Most of the recycled steel went into the front section of the ship (the part that cuts through the water).
It's not working, you tube doesn't recognize the format, I did manage to get it saved to my computer though, now if I can just figure out how to change it to a different format I might be able to get it posted :eyeroll:
A VOB (Video OBject) contains several streams multiplexed together: Video, Audio and Subtitles. Video is MPEG-2, audio can be AC-3, Linear PCM, Mpeg 2 multichannel or MPEG1 layer2 2 channel audio. http://filext.com/detaillist.php?extdetail=vob
Yeah but that isn't the common computer user's choice of OS.
I often thought of setting it up on a friends or family's computer, but then remembered all the extra headaches it would cause, heh.
Nothing against it though, I wish I could switch over to Linux myself, just don't have the patience to run WINE or a virtual PC to use my windows apps.
XP actually makes it pretty easy, all I had to do was go to my pics and copy file to cd, just 1 of my folders took a whole cd! too many pictures on my computer!
Hey Kitch,how will the new Daylight Savings Time day work on my clock? I bought a self setting clock with software that is supposed to change the time on the day programmed for DST (before the law change). Is that going to change on the right day? I'm not sure how to even change the time if it's not right. And even if I figure that out, it may change it'self again on the "real" day it thinks it should change.
the little things they love about eachother, when they first get together, can become the little things that piss them off in the end....
some people arent in it, from the beginning, and just want to feel like they belong someplace, and feel needed by somebody....
playing head games with someone, sucks ass and is wrong....
leaving somebody hanging, not knowing what the f**k happened, is even worse....
I'm personally incredibly drained to probably speak on this (terry will probably have something perfect and profound to say on this subject)...but....I've learned that if 2 people can't find forgiveness and once again want and need for the other person .... than do they part? its painful either way...if they stay together OR if they part.
a marriage should bring out the best in eachother - loving their little quirks and carrying them when they are down (not always but, there could have been an incident or turning point that one probably cannot forgive)---it shouldn't forever be full of painful moments and selfishness - life is too short in the long run - if they decide to part than hopefully one or both will find someone else who will honor them the way they should be loved and honored for their true selves. It may hurt you but in the end its what hurts them that really matters. You should hope for the best for both of them weather they stay together or not.
sorry to hear you know someone with this difficulty in their life right now :frown:
here is a pretty good exerpt from:
Dr. Laura Schlessinger's new book, “The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage”
I remember some twenty-five years ago working with a middle-aged couple on their marital problems. Frankly it seemed as though they were hopeless, refusing to spend any time at all on their difficulties other than complaining and blaming each other for their unhappiness. I recall closing my eyes for a moment and just listening. I could hear the hurt, loss, and need in their voices. Instead of trying to reconcile their "problems" I decided to get to the root of the plant and stop worrying first about the way the petals looked. I opened my eyes and interrupted their fight by saying, slowly, to each of them, "Sir, what do you do to make her feel like a woman?" and "Ma'am, what do you do to make him feel like a man?"
They both just stared at me, speechless. I insisted that they answer my question, despite their determination to get back into the fight. Finally she began to cry softly, and he looked deflated, when just seconds before, they were both energized, reddened with anger. We had some fifteen minutes left to the session, and they had nothing to say—to me or to each other.
Marriages are not business arrangements of coworkers or co-owners. Marriages are the joining of two minds, bodies, souls, spirits, hopes, dreams, needs, personalities, and different genders".
I dont like the idea of somebody else trying to tell me what my idea of love should be....
At the beginning, it's fireworks and more fireworks.
Then if the fireworks continue, the couple makes a commitment to each other and marriage seals that commitment.
Then the real work begins. Marriage means taking that commitment to each other seriously enough to work on it. There has to be a real give and take or the marriage fails.
That work includes remaining faithful, agreeing never to go to sleep angry with each other, supporting each other in time when things are tough and rejoicing in the times when things are going smoothly. One needs to realize the fireworks sometimes get lost for awhile among other responsibilities with kids, house, other family situations, but there was a connection there at the beginning and if you take the time to look, that connection is always there.
What is sad to see is when two people made that commitment to each other and then fail to work at it. Fireworks can't be expected all the time. Long term loving and marriage is much more than fireworks.
Some people wear their heart on their sleeve, and arent afraid to show emotions, and let things be known...
Some people hide feelings, and dont know when to show it/what to show...
Some people are a mixture of both....
Some people take advantage of either of the first two.... easy pickins... vultures if you will....
Hell....
for the past nearly 2 years, i built a wall.... no a f'n castle, out of these thick ass bricks....
making sure every damn one of them was in place, so nobody would come through ever again...
I was intent on going forward, miserable and alone, because thats how it had evidentlly been planned out......
but recently.... and seemlingly outta noplace, somebody came around, and f'n, straight up Jackie Channed their way over that wall, and has been knockin it back down, one brick at a time.....
I wake up, sometimes and wonder "will this be the day?".....
the day that it ends, and goes away, once again....
call it crazy.... but I just come to expect that crap.....
I've come to find out, in these past couple of years, that nothing good stays put.... and the more good that comes around, bad stuff follows it.....
I've changed some from "then".... but at the same time, the wounds are still fresh, becuse they havent ever healed properly......
granted the days that I ask myself that question, are getting to be fewer and farther between.... but still....
Its still there, drilled into my brain, and isnt going away....
am I happy?
content. for the time being.
ask me again tomorrow, because thats how quickly things can change.
As I think about why relationships are being given up on more easily now, I think it's a part of our society. In a number of ways, our society has become more interested in instant gratification. Fast food and microwave ovens to get the food we want faster. Email and cell phones to get our communication out faster. Broadband and cable to get information quicker. Products to make cleaning faster and easier. Our time is becoming more valuable and we are wanting our gratification quicker. We're not investing as much time and work into projects as before, to get an end result that we can be proud of because of the work put in. You could make a meal from scratch, build something with your own barehands, write a letter on pen and paper, and these things would have meaning because you took the time and effort to make them.
When we're trying to woo someone, we aren't going to make our flaws be known right away. We want to attract them with our best qualities. Then as time goes on, we find out the worst about the other people. And there are people who are rushing into things, looking for the gratification right away. Some people are having sex early on in a relationship for the physical gratification, instead of waiting for the emotional gratification that comes later. If things turn bad, then instead of putting in the time and effort to make things work, they just move on to find the next thing to make them happy. Divorce is much more acceptable in society today, as opposed to before. Women have more power in today's society, so men don't have the power of yesteryear to keep marriages together by their will. There's more stressors on families today, with more diversity in roles and responsbilities by different people within relationships and families. We also have more access to people, whether it be through transit (meeting people within our towns and cities) or communication (meeting people online).
I guess I rambled on a bit there, but those are my thoughts on this.
black and orange.
:ooh:
I never thought about recycling the metal from the world trade
cool use if it is
USS New York
It was built with 24 tons of scrap steel from the World Trade Center.
It is the fifth in a new class of warship - designed for missions that include special operations against terrorists. It will carry a crew of 360 sailors and 700 combat-ready Marines to be delivered ashore by helicopters and assault craft.
Steel from the World Trade Center was melted down in a foundry in Amite , LA to cast the ship's bow section. When it was poured into the molds on Sept. 9, 2003, "those big rough steelworkers treated it with total reverence," recalled Navy Capt. Kevin Wensing, who was there. "It was a spiritual moment for everybody there."
Junior Chavers, foundry operations manager, said that when the trade center steel first arrived, he touched it with his hand and the "hair on my neck stood up." "It had a big meaning to it for all of us," he said. "They knocked us down. They can't keep us down. We're going to be back."
The ship's motto? "Never Forget"
the story is true...the photo is of uss san antonio.
It's a video that my girlfriend took on her camera of gordy's band.
I think all you need to do is:
1) open "my computer" on your desktop.
2) open your cd drive with your cd in it.
3) find your file. (your cd might not be formated right and this could be impossible)
4) right click "save link/file as"
thats it....I think...off the top of my head...
5) go to youtube and upload it there for all of us to see.
Not sure what that other format is.
A VOB (Video OBject) contains several streams multiplexed together: Video, Audio and Subtitles. Video is MPEG-2, audio can be AC-3, Linear PCM, Mpeg 2 multichannel or MPEG1 layer2 2 channel audio.
http://filext.com/detaillist.php?extdetail=vob
http://www.perfectdvdcopies.com/vob-video-converter.html
Secondly, if you have windows XP, there's functionality built in to write to a CD.
linux too :smile:
I often thought of setting it up on a friends or family's computer, but then remembered all the extra headaches it would cause, heh.
Nothing against it though, I wish I could switch over to Linux myself, just don't have the patience to run WINE or a virtual PC to use my windows apps.
XP actually makes it pretty easy, all I had to do was go to my pics and copy file to cd, just 1 of my folders took a whole cd! too many pictures on my computer!
also he had a major crush on the hottie "Miss Othmar"
Know anything about this?