also i still see his posts in the threads as harassment as well. trying to obviously make me out to be a liar. the egrams were just the extreme bulk of it.
But you are here. Defending your side. Defending your actions on why you did what you did. Why you felt it was harrassment (your opinion is the only one needed we werent being harrassed). I just feel that he should have the same opportunity.
no probably not...but the posts were directed at things that have occured in the case but of course you all didn't know that and i wasn't going to make it all public out of respect...it's a little different i think when you have a file with the police because of the harassment had brought into your life.
never want to undermine your ordeal......I just think that some of the posts were saying how he felt. I dont agree that some were harrassment....THIS DOESNT INCLUDE THE REST OF THE FILE!!!!
so if we aren't undermining the ordeal and all the harassment that has gone on in the forum which egrams are a function of then why are we talking about a decision by the mods.
a decision was made because of all the mods saw. all the truth that i was able to tell now that the case is over, unless he breaks the HRO again. i was advised not to let anything public til it was over.
Correct me if I'm wrong but did you say a bit ago that the fact that he got banned would make the harrasing Egrams stop because he knows who some of the people are who banned him from the cooler portion of able minds in the first place?
I can't remember how i stated it. but because he was banned by the mods, people who run the ccrc he may repsect the decision and stop completely. that is how i meant to state it. does that make sense.
Yes it makes sense.... I'm just asking because I was under the impression from your Egram sent this morning that the Egrams from him had already been stopped due to action taken directly with him outside the forums
What I would like to know, independently, from the dissenters, is what do you think constitutes behavior that deserves removal from this site.
I'd like answers from Pay Me, Tim, and Leelabell. I define harassing behavior as grounds for removal. What do you?
Note: Not being snotty. I really want to know.
My response:
Who gets to define the harassment? That is my point. The moderators? The other members? The police?
In my world, the person who owns the site gets to decide what is appropriate conduct. In our case it is tough. We sort of own our part of Ableminds, but are not ultimately responsible for it. I would be okay with the moderators deciding what is inappropriate conduct if we had elected or rotating mods. But without elected or rotating mods or a code of conduct voted on by our members, there is no inappropriate conduct. Of course, I believe there is inappropriate conduct, but I don't like it that our moderation folks do not represent the group.
This being said, I in no way diminish what happened to Coco. It sucked. It still sucks. Her life was turned upside down. I will reiterate what I said earlier. I am not comfortable with our lack of moderation policy/structure. I am not saying what Nick did was in any way acceptable.
Etymology: French harasser, from Middle French, from harer to set a dog on, from Old French hare, interj. used to incite dogs, of Germanic origin; akin to Old High German hier here -- more at HERE 1 a: EXHAUST, FATIGUEb: to annoy persistently 2: to worry and impede by repeated raids <harassed the enemy> synonym see WORRY - ha·rass·ernoun - ha·rass·ment /-m&nt/ noun
I think there is just a whole lot of arguing about semantics here. What's considered in or outside of the forum, whether egrams are in the forum, who get to decide....blah blah blah Geez some of you should've been lawyers.
I think the big issue ABOVE ALL THIS OTHER STUFF is that somebody here has been using this "community" in order to have contact with someone to cause them harm.
As far as giving him a chance to defend himself, if people who know him and understand him pretty well say he is a pathological liar and is spiraling out of control - what kind of explanation are you expecting to get?
I think that if you support Nick being here, you support that he can potentially harass cocorosie, or anyone. And given the track record that he's done it to such an amazing extent that he's gotten a restraining order, we as a group say enough is enough and that you don't do this as part of the cooler crew.
And we can split finite hairs like Tim's trying to do so that he can support Nick being here without supporting his behavior but I'm saying as a group we say to Nick that enough is enough.
For the record, G, I totally agree with her that we need to talk about how the group of moderators came to be. I didn't have a say in any of it and would have chosen another person.
if people who know him and understand him pretty well say he is a pathological liar and is spiraling out of control - what kind of explanation are you expecting to get?
I think that's a great question that deserves an answer.
Well I'd like to just throw this out there. This is an endless merry-go-round. When you get a group of people together, a large group, there's going to be differences of opinion. The sysop decided that there would be no code of conduct for this site, so that leaves it up to us. If I may be frank, we as a group, because of different personalities, flat out suck at deciding on anything. Remember the last time we got into a "discussion" about how things should be dealt with involving the group? Nothing happened but a bunch of hurt egos and feelings. Apologies were made, but the fact remains that wounds were created that will never entirely heal. MM's previous post is proof of that.
We should really just agree to disagree on this. Actions were taken, some of us agree, some of us disagree. Let's move on.
Sorry, I am watching tv and only half paying attention here.
I alone can't determine what is appropriate behavior for this forum. I believe this site should be run in an eagalitarian fashion and those behaviors should be determined by the group.
maybe because he respects some of the people and since we all know the truth it will stop.
is part of reason I will NEVER HIDE!!!
that and I'm not afraid of you!!
My back hurts.
I wanna cry.
what can a harasser defend.
Cooler Crew = Cooler threads.
Correct me if I'm wrong but did you say a bit ago that the fact that he got banned would make the harrasing Egrams stop because he knows who some of the people are who banned him from the cooler portion of able minds in the first place?
but from what tim was trying to define i was trying to explain the possible connection.
does that make sense.
What I would like to know, independently, from the dissenters, is what do you think constitutes behavior that deserves removal from this site.
I'd like answers from Pay Me, Tim, and Leelabell. I define harassing behavior as grounds for removal. What do you?
Note: Not being snotty. I really want to know.
My response:
Who gets to define the harassment? That is my point. The moderators? The other members? The police?
In my world, the person who owns the site gets to decide what is appropriate conduct. In our case it is tough. We sort of own our part of Ableminds, but are not ultimately responsible for it. I would be okay with the moderators deciding what is inappropriate conduct if we had elected or rotating mods. But without elected or rotating mods or a code of conduct voted on by our members, there is no inappropriate conduct. Of course, I believe there is inappropriate conduct, but I don't like it that our moderation folks do not represent the group.
This being said, I in no way diminish what happened to Coco. It sucked. It still sucks. Her life was turned upside down. I will reiterate what I said earlier. I am not comfortable with our lack of moderation policy/structure. I am not saying what Nick did was in any way acceptable.
unless and until one party chooses to reveal what was supposed to be private, but that's a different conversation.
I have had friends that have been stalked in the past and it's very creepy if you ask me, some people need to learn that no means no.
Main Entry: ha·rass
Pronunciation: h&-'ras, 'har-&s
Function: transitive verb
Etymology: French harasser, from Middle French, from harer to set a dog on, from Old French hare, interj. used to incite dogs, of Germanic origin; akin to Old High German hier here -- more at HERE
1 a : EXHAUST, FATIGUE b : to annoy persistently
2 : to worry and impede by repeated raids <harassed the enemy>
synonym see WORRY
- ha·rass·er noun
- ha·rass·ment /-m&nt/ noun
I think the big issue ABOVE ALL THIS OTHER STUFF is that somebody here has been using this "community" in order to have contact with someone to cause them harm.
As far as giving him a chance to defend himself, if people who know him and understand him pretty well say he is a pathological liar and is spiraling out of control - what kind of explanation are you expecting to get?
a lawyer told me that once about myself.
you're absolutely right though.
if people who know him and understand him pretty well say he is a pathological liar and is spiraling out of control - what kind of explanation are you expecting to get?
I think that's a great question that deserves an answer.
We should really just agree to disagree on this. Actions were taken, some of us agree, some of us disagree. Let's move on.
I alone can't determine what is appropriate behavior for this forum. I believe this site should be run in an eagalitarian fashion and those behaviors should be determined by the group.