What irritates you?

Thanks TV & A

You might be right to a point TV in that those feelings have been popping up more often but I think it's more along the lines of asking her to help me or wondering why she's doing it to me. It doesn't happen often but it sucks when it does. Then again, every fricken feeling I've ever had in my life has been heightened over the last month to the point where I can't control it.

I'm madly in love one minute (I know - :barf: ) and hate the world the next. I'm usually pretty passionate with my feelings but never to these extremes.

Sucks :angry: :frown: :sad:

hormones...maybe going through the change... :eek:

I'm sorry, Cluey. I guess an explanation of what's been going on is long overdue...

---

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CM - It does sound like PMS.

I know you're a passionate person. You wear that passion on your sleeve often. I know you're getting some medical help. Are you going to any grieving groups?

You have lost your wife and mother of your child. You're adjusting to being single and the lone parent. That is a huge task and and an adjustment that doesn't come easy.

Keep up with your medical doctors and ask about help with the grieving. Its only been about a year and that grieving isn't going to end just because you have gotten beyond that one year mark. That love/hate the world thing sounds like you are trying to move forward, but haven't finished the grieving. Life doesn't feel fair and its not. You have much to be angry about and anger (hate) is a step in the grieving process that comes and goes in no particular order or with any particular reason other than it just does.

You're lucky that you are as verbal about how you're feeling. That isn't very common with the male of the species. Use that to your advantage and reach out to someone who can listen.

start doing something manly :wink:

:pbpt:

no, he might break a nail

:sillygrin:

If his boobs start getting tender - he's got problems! :pbpt:

It might be time to start some sort of creative hobby that can serve as a welcome distraction. Model railroads, model rockets, etc... provide a nice escape from reality.

Cluey - you been out discin' yet? This has got to be one of the best summers on record for a walk in the woods.

another basic joe

Good points, Terry.

I know, even at five years into the journey, I still have moments and even days when I am ambivalent about things.

CM, it is refreshing to hear a man express his feelings about these things.

(And it is not :barf: to say you are madly in love!!! People used to chide me and Da Yooper for being so happy and in love - not like we were all over each other in public, but they couldn't help seeing it - they said it was sickening, but only because they themselves were miserable. Anyway, within a few months, Da Yooper was dead, and I have never been able to understand why anyone would have begrudged us the little time of happiness we had.)

The good news is that there is help available. The tough part is figuring out which help works best for you.

Keep following up on any physical symptoms - sometimes after a time of grieving, the body is exhausted. I know a lot of people who have had their thyroid and other hormone regulatory systems pretty much bottom out on them during grief. Get your doc to do a full hormone panel to rule any of that out.

The emotional stuff - don't forget there are lots of supportive approaches in addition to the doctors and counselors, which by the way, I am all in favor of talking about things, no matter what other approaches also work.

Just to list a few things that really, really helped me and which I continue to this day:

Vitamin B Stress formula supplements. I buy the Target origins brand at around $6.50 for a big bottle. Vitamin B is easily depleted by stressors. I take two a day. I took three a day in the early years.

I also recently added a magnesium supplement. For some people folic acid can help too.

Rescue Remedy (a blend of five flower essences) that helps with calming, focus, irritability, etc. Comes in spray, drops or lozenges. Absolutely harmless for adults, children and pets, and I use it liberally.

Getting body work done. Massage, energy healing, accupuncture/pressure, chiropractic.

Yoga, Tai Chi, etc. A colleague of mine just did a study on yoga for treatment of generalized anxiety and the study group got a lot of relief from doing yoga, but also found it was a tool they could use anywhere and anytime they needed it.

Water. Good nutrition. I still can't have more than an occasional drink and I have to limit my caffeine intake. Aspartame can make me real weird in a hurry, not that I am not weird enough already.

Anyway, perhaps there is something in this laundry list that might help? Or might trigger you to think of something else you might find helpful.

Grief sucks. I hope you are feeling better soon.

Ho boy.

House sell update: Irritate across the board.

So: We were waiting on pins and or needles for the appraisal to come back, we needed it to go through at the original agreed upon number to make it a reality for us at a number we were happy with, below that, we had decisions to make. The buyers made a 2nd offer once we signed the papers on the original one for 25k less, but we didn't respond to that offer, instead, said to get it appraised and we'd negotiate from there. The buyers (who 7 days earlier after changing their offer had 2nd thoughts because they wanted to count the black people in the neighborhood to make sure it was white enough) ordered an appraisal that happened Monday. No word if it was their financing company that did it or if they did it directly. I believe it was a direct order (gut feeling.)

Not suprisingly, the number came in at their number. I believe that the buyers, when paying directly for the appraisal (which is out of SOP) said something to the co. like "we're offering X, not Y." I find it highly suspicious that it comes in exactly what the buyers wanted it to be, not 500 dollars more, not 500 dollars less, and certainly not at the originally agreed upon price. So, they got their way, yipee, but I ain't moving on price, so they're SOL. Joke's on them.

We immediately challenged the appraisal analysis, and asked for it to be reevaluated, in hopes of actually getting some sort of deal done. However, our realtor says it's probably not going to be happening to get the number up any at this point.

As of this morning, we found out that the buyers have officially fired their realtor and claiming (goofily) fraud that he tried to sell them a house for more than it's worth. Again, it's a matter of opinion on house worth, and they wanted it to be low. So, officially (legally) I don't think a deal can be done. Our realtor is calling the loan officer to try to sniff around the possibilities of them dealing with us directly, and getting perhaps alternative financing to make the deal sing. At least to see a copy of the appraisal, to see if it might have future implications with other buyers.

Good times. Good Good times.

Wow!

I wasn't expecting any type of response. Thank you for the great advice TV & Eags. You two are awesome! Although I really don't think this sickness has much to do with grieving. I feel I've moved past that to a point a few months back and have felt a weight lifted once I allowed myself to move on at that time.

Plus once I just mentioned my wife to a doc he gave me stuff that messed with my head more than I liked. I don't want to go down that road again.

Maybe it is just PMS :smile:

I will try some of your vitamins and see if they help Eags. I'm sure there's a few of us in here that could use that info.

And to you guys - You are the best. You F'ers are hilarious!

Just what the doc should prescribe when someone is down. Discin' sounds perfect if I feel up to it. But loungin' in front of the tube all weekend is looking nice at this point.

You people are so the best people ever. As me2 says:

to see if it might have future implications with other buyers.

I'm curious if this document is available to the public. How would a person ever find a current appraisal on a house anyhow. I think youre safe on this.

with what I know of anyhow, my bank required an appraisal before I could buy my house. I would think every loaner would do that before loaning the $$ to be sure the house is worth it, or more, to get their $$ back if the buyer forcloses.

hopefully someone else will come along- if this family wants your place bad enough they will deal with you or go some place else.

And to you guys - You are the best. You F'ers are hilarious!

Just what the doc should prescribe when someone is down.

thats what I wanted to convey, you somehow said it best -

I just checked my neighborhood real estate townhomes for sale. The one unit for sale that is the same size as ours is listed at $2,000 less than we OWE!

Crikey! :ooh:

why would a person want 2 buy a "normal" house when you can now go on bus tours to see all the homes going into or are in foreclosuer.

I think cluey needs beef jerkey, beer, sunflower seeds, maybe a trip to a saints game, stop by the bar on the way home some pool, and trip to the king right before he gets back home.

that while cranking up KISS and Megadeath driving to and from the game.

too much hannah montana, disney, libby lu, ....

The best relaxer I know: A twelve-second, three octave fart so nasty even the dog has to leave the room.

Probably can do it after eating from Kitch's menu above. :wink:

Carlin and "Test" Farting

too much hannah montana, disney, libby lu, ....

BWAHH - NO S!! More great advice!!

 :cool:

all good advice- suck it up, be a man already!

scratch your butt, then sit on the couch with your hand down your pants - that'll start the manly process. bbburp.

I'd rather sit on the couch with someone elses hand down my pants. :sheepish: :smile: :litesmile:

advice

Damn spell check :frown: I need to remove advise from my spelling words or something

Cleared all of my personal spelling words once again. Whew!

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No "S" In "Redbear.

Duh.

I did that once cm - I threw it in a blog somewhere-

 heh :cool:

Does anyone happen to know anything about the following ailments?

anders syndrome

dercum's disease

lipoma

They fit my symptoms to a T :frown:

dr. google never is 100% right..

God I hope so. :chagrin: :confused:

the peculiar slowing of speech = beer?

HeH - Could be Nurse J :smile:

I purposely avoided the net for the last few months because you always get anything from treat with aspirin to cancer for the same symptoms.

Then the anxiety sets in on top of the anxiety that you already have. And to see a doctor who specializes in those things I have to wait until mid October just for a consult and who knows how long for treatment. I see me going out of network on this one just to speed things up before I go crazy. :pbpt:

The sad thing is that as much as I hope I'm being a hypochondriac about these things I know I'm not since I don't get sick. This is so lame. :angry:

CM, I sure hope someone is taking your symptoms seriously! And will help you get to the root cause and get you some help and relief!!

btw...My doctor knows Dr.Google very well...

its bad when we google in his office :smile:

Thanks Eags - There won't be any choice in that matter. They blew my wife off to the point where she didn't even want to go in anymore since they made her feel as if it was all in her head. How much do family drs actually know anyway? I assume very little about a number of things. Hopefully they'll know enough tomorrow to point me in the right direction anyway. I was able to secure the very last appt for all Allina clinics tomorrow. So that's a step in the right direction anyway.

I'm actually starting to like mornings since the lack of sleep and sick crap doesn't hit until later in the day. :eyeroll:

YOU do WHAT with your Dr? heh

whats worse?

a doctor who will be open minded to even google to find the answer even though he has had years of medical training?

or a doctor closed minded to ONLY what ever theory he comes up with?

I like my doc....

half the battle in my opinion ...

If i have a question...and he doesn't know it...he looks it up...

sometimes google ,...sometimes books...sometimes asks others..

imho..makes the most sense...

Here is one of the things I don't understand about western medicine:

They try to scare the shit out of people who have minor ailments, getting them to think they can't do even basic first aid at home anymore, everything is potentially and rapidly fatal, so much so that people get completely dependent on going to the ER, urgent care, etc. for every little thing.

But when the person has a scary, painful, or unusual symptom, they treat them like they shouldn't be running in all the time, won't give them an appointment for weeks or months, and then often get the diagnosis wrong.

And most people go only where they have access to care through insurance, even if that access is not very accessible.

It doesn't sound like much is really known about Adiposis Dolorosa. IF that is what you have, you may end up needing to research it and find your own cure, ultimately, in some kind of alternative approach.

Yes.

Our healthcare system is broken.

Well, from a patients standpoint anyways.

speaking of which ...anybody using "google health" yet??

https://www.google.com/health

Someone broke into our garage last night and didn't take anything but the 5 CDs in my car and wemt through the glove box and dumped all that out on the floor.

Idiots.

My arm rest thingy in the middle has slots for keeping the CDs in their cases. No scratches and it has worked out very well. I hadn't copied those few. Bums me out. Those were like my tunes to drive by.

But I had one CD in the player that was part of a 2 CD set. They only got the one part. :litesmile:

thought Kitch would catch that B4U :sheepish:

Good eye :smile:

What does MMMMMMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm mean anyway? :wink:

CM - Stand your ground and be vocal with your ailments to the drs. I had these severe pains in my chest that would make me throw up. Went to the Dr and they couldn't find anything wrong - probably a food or something that is causing gas pains... one day at work it got so bad that my coworker found me in the restroom in the fetal position on th floor so they took me back to the Drs... of course by the time I got there the pain was going away.. again they gave me medicine to help with "gas" pain... It got to a point they were tired of seeing me and telling me in so many words to "suck it up".... The next day I had another attack and I went straight in to the drs office and demanded they figure this out now... they sent me straight to the hospital to have ultra sound done...

Of course by the time it was over I was feeling better so I went to work. I got home that night to several messages from the drs office to call them immediately (why they didn't call my work is a different irate) - turns out I had gallstones - hundreds of them which required surgery because my gallbladder was so full that anytime I ate or drank anything the gallstones were trying to be pushed into my stomach which was causing the unbearable pain (and I have done natural childbirth - so i know pain).

I learned my lesson and I have become very vocal when I see doctors. (oh and yes - I have changed drs since this happened).

:angry:

you must listen to good music :smile:

I've been nervous lately of someone breaking in to my house.

grrrrrrrrrrrrrr - hope they don't come back tv.

yah know, you got a slew of computer savvy guys here who can burn you anything you want. I'm sure if you posted the 5 cd's the guys would hook you up. :smile:

I know its not completely the same however, it could hold you over til you get out to repurchase them.

thanks for telling us about that Kat- I woulda never guessed gallstones instead of gas. I thought they were lower than the stomach. I just called a family member and passed on this info- sounds exactly like his symtoms. They are gonna ask their doctor about it. His wife was grateful for the info.

wow- all of a sudden being drained of energy

 :confused:

which is weird cause my sister dropped in to give me a mocha from caribou with 3 shots in it ~ wierd

thanks icesis -